Rising Star blog |
This is still a work in progress, but I welcome any feedback. Monday, September 13th, 2016 Monday morning, Ruth woke up suddenly. She had felt like this dark figure she has been dreaming about was sitting on her chest suffocating her. Once she woke up the figure was gone. She began crying a little. She wished these dreams would go away. She turned over and looked at the clock. It was 7:36 in the morning. She had planned on getting up at 8am anyway. She turned off the alarm, and got up. She went into the kitchen to brew her some coffee. She had kind of let herself go since the funeral. She knew she needed to clean up before going to see the lawyer today. Once Ruth's coffee was finished, she had gotten a bowl of cereal and the milk out. She took her coffee and cereal to the table, and got her Bible down from the shelf so she could read when she had finished eating. Ruth had eaten her cerial and drank most of her coffee when she opened her Bible to read. She continued reading in Psalms. It seemed like a good book to read when you were greiving. She began reading in Psalms 47 where she had left off. This time she felt the words were a bit more comfort to her.The letter she had found Saturday from Mike and yesterdays sermon helped calm her anger at God so she felt a little better. She read for about 30 minutes, then decided she had better get into the showoer. She put her Bible and the dishes away, and went to her bedroom to pick out her clothes she would wear today. She decided on a pair of jeans, a brown and white printed blouse and a light brown sweater. She would wear her running shoes for comfort. She went to the hall closet and grabbed a towel and wash cloth, and then got into a nice warm shower. She thought the water felt refreshing. The warmth seemed to sooth her aching sinuses. It was done and over before she knew it. It had felt good to take a bath.Ruth got dressed and cleaned up the kitchen. It was 10 am by now. She decided maybe she should call the doctor and get an appointment. After hanging up with the doctor, She made sure she had everything she needed to take with her to the lawyer's office all in one place so she wouldn't forget anything. The phone began to ring. She had to run to the bedroom to get it. She answered it just in time. Hello? Hi, Ruth. How are you doing today? Oh Pastor Ben, much better. Your sermon yesterday really spoke to my heart. I am just getting everything ready to go to the lawyer's office today. My appointment is at 1:30. Ok, well I am glad you are feeling better and someone actually listened to my sermon. Ruth laughed, you are a good preacher. A lot of people listen to your sermons. laughing, Pastor Ben replied, sometimes I wonder. Anyway that's enough about my sermons. Remember if you need me today, call me. I should be here at the church office as far as I know. Let me pray with you quick because I know you are busy. Okay I appreciate you Pastor. Dear Father, I bring Ruth to you now. Be with her at the lawyers office. Take care of her every need even the ones she may not know she has. Help her to not get too stressed out and to get her leagal affairs taken sorted out quickly and smoothly. In Christ's name, Amen Thank you I will call you later and let you know how it went Okay, I'm going to hold you to that. Bye bye for now. Good bye Pastor Ruth decided now would be a good time to call Olivia. She dialed her friends number and the call went to voice mail. She left a quick message. By now it was time for lunch. Ruth made herself a sandwhich and got a glass of sweet tea and sat down. Just about the time she sat down, her phone rang. Olivia had called her back. Hi, Olivia You called me? What's up? I just wanted to let you know I will be heading to the lawyers office soon. I will call you and let you know how it goes after I get back home. Will you be able to come over Tuesday if I need you? After my doctor's appointment, I can. Speaking of doctors, did you call yours about the nightmares? ======= Yes, I did call this morning. I have an appointment for Friday. If nothing else, my sinuses are killing me from all the crying. Good, I am glad you called. I know you have been doing a lot of that. Yes, I have. Well, I am going to go ahead and get off of here and finish getting ready to see the lawyer. Ok Talk to you soon then Bye Ruth hung up the phone, took her empty dishes to the sink, and went to the restroom to brush her teeth. She fixed her hair, put on a little make up and then a little of her jewelry. When she thought everything was just right, she checked her purse and put it with her things to bring to the lawyer. She thought she had better get on her way so she wasn't late. She had slipped the folders and other paperwork into a tote bag to make it easier to carry. She decided to check the mailbox on the way out. She then got in her car and took off to see the lawyer. When she had pulled into her parking space, Ruth determined she had enough time to look at her mail. She opened one envelope. It was the new electic bill, $175. That wasn't too bad considering all the guests that had been in her house a few days ago. The envelope on the bottom caught her attention. It was from the bank. It was a notice the mortgage payment was due. Ruth thought, That doesn't make sense, we own the house. She stuffed her freshly opened mail into the tote bag and went in to see the lawyer. They talked and went over things for an hour. They talked about the will. They talked about her finances and her newly discovered mortgage. She finally knew where she stood legally and was okay for now. Ruth got back in her car, and drove back home. She decided she had better take a look at the finances and try to sort them out. She brought everything in and sat at the dining table with all the paper work. She got a glass of sweet tea and went to work. Ruth startled when the phone rang. Hello? Hi, Momma. This is Vivian. I wanted to find out how you are doing. Are you okay? Yeah, I am okay. I have just been going through your Daddy's things and trying to sort everything out. How's school going for you? It's okay. It's school. I did manage to get an A on my exam I took Friday. That's great honey. I am so proud of you! Thank you momma. I have to go to work soon. I love you. I love you too honey. be careful not to overdo it. I won't. It is just a part time job, Mom. I can do it. Okay, you quit if it starts to interfere with your schoolwork. You know your Dad and I paid good money to put you girls through school. Let me know if you need anything, Baby girl. I will momma. I have got to go now. Bye She hung up before Ruth had a chance to respond. ///// Ruth continued to go through her papers. She called the bank to find out about the mortgage. It turns out her husband had taken it out without telling her about it. Now she was behind a payment. She hadn't anticipated having to pay any bills until the next month because she thought my me had taken care of all that before he had gone into the hospital this last time. She wasn’t sure what was due when. People who had been working on flipping the current houses had to be paid. She planned on taking a look at all the properties tomorrow to see what needed to be done and hoped she could catch the contractors while at the properties. There were rental properties she had to figure out what to do with. Ruth anguished out loud to herself, “Mile why didn't you prepare me for this? I have no idea what I am doing here. How am I ever going to do this on my own? Oh God! Help me!” She just sat there staring at it all feeling completely overwhelmed and alone. She wasn't sure what she would do. Should she ask for help or try to figure this out on her own? Ruth decided to push it all to the side and get a bite to eat for dinner. There was some left over tuna casserole in the fridge that Olivia had made. So she decided to warm some of that up in the microwave. She also got her glass of sweet tea and sat back down to eat. Her heart was sad. She felt tired and warn down. How could this happen to her? Why did Mike have to die? How could this have been prevented? She didn't want to be in this position. She didn't want to have to deal with life without her Mike. Ruth finished eating and drank down her tea. She gathered the dishes to the sink and washed them. She cleaned up her mess at the table. She felt too overwhelmed right now to deal with any more today.she just felt completely drained. She finished cleaning the kitchen and then decided to read a little in the bedroom before going to bed. Ruth sat down on the bed feeling extremely alone. She lay down on the bed and let the tears flow until she fell asleep. Again Mike appeared just out of her reach while smiling and laughing. The more she reached for him, he would continuously step back just out of her reach like he was playing a cruel game with her. This time when she woke up soked in sweat, the dark figure was standing over her at the foot of her bed laughing an evil laugh and then disappeared. Ruth decided to go to the restroom and wash her face. She had to be dreaming that. She had a few pills for anxiety left from when she fainted at the hospital and decided to take one hoping it would help her sleep better. It took her awhile to go back to sleep, but when she finally did, to her disappointment, she had more disturbing dreams. The dark figure appeared again. Then she saw Mike at a distance. She called out to him, but he just kept getting farther and farther away until she couldn't see him. Then she was frantically looking for him and couldn't find him anywhere. This time when she woke up the dark figure was in her face, eye to eye with her. She cried out, Jesus help me! Then the figure disappeared again. By this time, it was early morning. She decided she didn't want to sleep any more right now. Ruth got up and went into the kitchen to get some coffee. She felt absolutely miserable. Her Dr appointment wasn't until Friday. It was only Tuesday. How would she be able to sleep any more like this. Ruth decided to just read from her Bible. She really didn't know what else to do right now. It would be around another 3 hours before Olivia arrived to help her go view the properties. Her heart really wasn't in any of it at this point. She didn't like her new reality. She actually kind of resented it. She felt too young to be a window yet. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. She opened her Bible and began reading the story of Ruth in the Bible. She finally understood Naomi’s bitterness and wished she still didn't understand it. She didn't want to feel bitter, but she did. She read the whole book of Ruth and sat there thinking about it for a moment. Suddenly she had a new respect for Naomi she hadn’t had before and an even higher admiration for Ruth. Ruth sat and thought about Naomi and her daughters in law for a moment. She now knew how they must have felt and she could only imagine how devestated Naomi was because she had lost her sons as well as her husband. Ruth couldn't imagine how she got through it. No wonder she had wanted to change her name to Mara (bitterness) Ruth felt as though she could be a Mara right now too, but that isn't what she wanted to be. Ruth began to pray, "Dear God, I don't want to be a Mara. I don't blame Naomi though for feeling that way. I feel that way right now too. Help me to get through this and past this bitterness and anger. I even feel angry at you. My emotions feel like they are all over the place. I don't feel like my self at the moment. Please, help me. In Jesus name, Amen" What was she going to do for the next couple of hours while she waited on Olivia. She never imagined losing someone could be so hard and life changing. For that matter, before now, she found it hard to even imagine having to live life without her MIke. She decided to read his letters that she had found again. She just felt so numb by this point. She felt lie she couldn't process any more emotion right now. She would probably be living on autopilot today. She was glad Olivia was going with her. What would she do without her best friend at a time like this. She had been leaning so hard on her since Mike had died. She was so very grateful for her. Ruth decided to go relax on the couch until Olivia arived. Maybe she would watch a little tv. Two hours seemed to pass in no time at all. Before she knew it, Olivia was there and they were ready to go look at the properties. They took Olivia's car and Olivia drove her where she needed to go. They decided to visit the rented properties first and see if they could meet the residents. The first house they went to was on main street. This is where a single mother lived with her 2 children. She had never married and her boyfriend had left her and she was pregnant again with her third child. They reviewed what she was paying in rent and when it was do and how she was making payments. She was on time with her rent, but her electricity had been turned off. Ruth made a deal with her that if she paid the electric for her, she could add it to next month's rent payment. She called the electric company and made the payment with her credit card. The next house Olivia took Ruth to visit was a house on second street. Here is where an elderly man was living. It was a small 2 bedroom house. His wife had died and he lived there alone. Ruth made sure he had everything he needed. The lawn was a little over grown, but other than that, everything at this house seemed to be in order. They decided to visit the little country cottage on the outskirts of town next. Here a young man and his wife lived with their 4 children. He had moved here with his family to give them a better life and had accepted a job working on an oil derick near by. It appeared everything was good here too except they needed a couple of repairs in the fence around the property. Ruth made note of it. Next, it was time to visit the properties that were being worked on and in the process of being flipped. They visited the Lake house first. It was a beautiful 4 bedroom home. The construction crew was here working to meet the deadline Mike had set for them. The house was due to be ready to put on the market in a week. The work seemed to be going well and they were on schedule here. Heading back into town, they went to the house on Elm Street. Ruth called it her nightmare. It was over budget and behind schedule. One of the contractors had quit working the moment they found out Mike had passed away. The electrician had quit because there were too many issues he had told her. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle this property. Also, appearently there had been some kind of water leak because there was an inch of water standing in the kitchen and living room. All work had stopped until repairs could be made to the plumbing. |