Writing Addict

A Different Approach

One of the hardest things, I have faced in my own personal recovery is watching one of my children experience the same pain. I am able to look at him and KNOW where he is at and what he is experiencing inside of his soul. I feel his pain.

Not wanting to use is not the difficult part. Learning healthier ways of coping with life is not always easy. Identifying those patterns of behavior and replacing them with spiritual principles takes practice. It takes time.

Recovery is not something that happens overnight. You will experience success. You will experience failures. The times you fail is not what matters. What matters is that you get back up and not give up.

I cannot fix what is going on in my son's life. I can fix what is going on in mine. I can stop pushing my own agenda on my son. I can stop instigating arguments. I can stop treating him like he is bad and treating him like he is ill. I can stop demanding his recovery look a certain way and be done in a certain amount of time. I can stop wasting moments with him and my other children I will never get back.

I have made every mistake.

This time, I am going to try a different approach. I am not going to take the behaviors of his disease personally. I am part of the chaos. I have to focus on my own behaviors in order to love myself, my son, his sisters, and my husband well.

We are not promised my tomorrow. If tomorrow does not come, I will leave this world knowing I have done my part in each of their lives. My family will know their mom's warrior heart fought for each of them every step of the way because they are deeply loved.