Rising Stars Blog

Last Assignment

I wasn’t trying to get fired. I mean, sure, being an online pirate isn’t a great example for the kiddos, but who had to know? It all started when I met Blackbeard. I know how that sounds, but I’m dead serious. Blackbeard came back from the dead just to ruin my life. Let me start from the beginning…

So, I run a pretty tight gig pirating and selling movies online for half price, which earns me about minimum wage, surprisingly, and so to up my cash influx I also operate as a mall attendant in the food court, and during the winter, I’m a mall santa. Really fun stuff, but I digress. So here’s how it happened:

It was winter, so I had just peeled off the red coat and fake beard, and was about to head home. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a dude in my car, giving me fear. (Ok, I was still in character, you’ll have to excuse me.) Now, here’s the odd part. This dude looked old. I mean, really, really old. His clothes were all leather, long jacket and a scabbard holding what appeared to be a cutlass. My first thought was Huh. Nice cosplay. My next thought was Ahh! Pirate man in my car! I’m gonna die. So I did the only thing anyone in my position would do. I got in the car, locked the door, and waited for what he had to say.

“Well, laddy.”
“Well indeed.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I wanted to make a good impression.
“Do ye know why I’m here?”
“Nope. Killer outfit, by the way. Where’d you get it?”
“On the high seas, laddy. I reckon you know a bit about the tempest of the sea?”
“No, actually.”
“Well, aren't ye a pirate?”
“Not that kind of pirate! Who are you anyway?”
“The name be Blackbeard, matey.”
“No way. You mean the Blackbeard? Of olden times? Famous pirate Blackbeard?”
“Aye. But now I must be going, ye aren’t who I’m lookin’ for.”

And with that he disappeared, never to be seen again. (By me at least)

So please reconsider my termination, It’s not my fault that I confessed.

Thanks!

Dan