Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Honeymoon is Over Baby

Plans are merely a guide and should never be set in concrete.

When the wind blows, a tree's strength is not in the concentricity, but the flexibility of its branches and trunk, and so, plans should allow for the unexpected or circumstances unforeseen.

I have been driven since I stopped using meth...exercising every day except for one in the past few weeks. I have done this because I need to keep my mind off drugs, to regain the strength I have lost, and as part of my therapy...gaining back hormones depleted by my continued bombardment of the drug on the part of my brain which controls the release of Dopamine. When this happens over a long period, sudden withdrawal and continued abstinence can cause depression-like symptoms and are a big part of why so many users (up to an incredible 90% within the first 12 months) relapse.

Today...the honeymoon ended for me, and I had my first taste of reality without meth to prop me up as a coping mechanism. I was down, and things began to get on top of me. I felt tired and flat and so, rather than use drugs or feel sorry for myself because 'I can't', I decided instead to be kind to myself.

I should have done a workout today, but in the afternoon, I watched a little TV before I fell asleep for an hour or so. When I awoke, there was no guilt because I did not train, and relief that I didn't go back to my old ways and score to stop the feeling of darkness, which had by this time disappeared. I understand it will return, but also that over time will become less and less of a problem.

The plan I had, called for all it did, but I make the decisions on a day to day basis, and today, I decided to give myself a break.

Today, I did not use drugs...and nobody is happier than I am to say that.