On The Write Path

Moving to Paradise? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Seen on the web: "More than a few Americans fantasize about picking up their lives and moving to some seaside villa in a country where your rent is less than a car payment. It's a fantasy because while it might be affordable, few people actually end up doing it. There are things to consider other than rent when moving to a far-flung beach town. Stuff like "does anyone speak English?" Or "is the food edible?" Or "is there Wi-Fi?" Miss these answers and your turquoise-watered fantasy turns into an experience so stressful you end up back in America before getting your first sun burn."

Color me livid, a bruising purplish puce. 😈

First of all...

Why would you move anywhere, especially abroad, without checking it out first? These silly questions, and yes they are silly, can be answered in three leisurely days.

So...

You have a car? You want to rent a villa? Must be nice. Because... most Americans (this article was aimed at Americans) never want to live like the locals. That would be beneath them. Hint: common folks don't live in villas; common folks don't use cars to go to WalMart every day... if they have a car at all.

If you are worried about the language learn whatever the locals speak. In Thailand that isn't always Thai. It can be Pak-dai around Phuket or Lao in Isan (อีสาน). No... learning a language needn't be as difficult as it seems. Speak it every day and you get better! Mavis Moog learned Italian before moving to Italy. Hint: get over your attitude.

Is the food edible... so 24 million Taiwanese are dying because there's nothing to eat? You don't like noodles or rice? You're scared of msg? You want gluten free (eat rice and rice noodles)? You only eat what you recognize? You want to convert the world to Veganism? Hint: either become flexible or stay home.

Wi-fi... your grandparents lived without wifi. They did not starve or you wouldn't be here. However... it has become a modern necessity. For instance, there's a region west of where Waltz Invictus lives, in West Virginia and Virginia (National Radio Quiet Zone (NRQZ) around Green Bank) where using wi-fi and microwave ovens is restricted or prohibited. But they don't have beaches. Beaches like mountains don't always have the same amenities as in town. Hint: learn how to ask.

In other words: Visit! Visit again! Preferably in mosquito or blizzard or smoke or drought season. Don't believe tourist bureaus or developers. Rent for a year before making life-changing decisions. Ask about water, crime, customs, taboos, whatever bugs you. Make friends. Advice: if you can't — go somewhere else.

To summerize: these internet articles are written by White Middle Class Americans who never miss a meal. If that doesn't apply to you, don't take their advice without investigating further. No one mentions the hostility towards people-of-color, those who are different, those who are gay or lesbian, those who are of the wrong religion (including Vegan Vigilantes). Visit and ask questions; you will know.

~505 words
posted in "Blogville " 

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