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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1015251-In-the-Past
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#1015251 added August 7, 2021 at 12:02am
Restrictions: None
In the Past
Sometimes I just gotta go with a Cracked article.



Since it's Cracked, I wouldn't put too much stock in the absolute veracity of all of these "facts." I mean, they don't lie on purpose like some websites, but they can't be arsed to do thorough fact-checking any more than I can.

Still, it's worth reading the whole list. I'm only going to comment on some highlights.

1. The French Revolution

Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette fled the palace and tried to go incognito when revolution broke out. But a postman thought he recognized them, and he confirmed his suspicions by comparing the king's face to the one on banknotes.


Nowadays, we have facial recognition software, and you don't have to be a monarch to get recognized by The System. Yet another reason to wear a mask.

7. The Challenger Explosion

Following the explosion, teams spent nine weeks searching a wide area for bits of wreckage. In the process, they stumbled on a duffle bag with 25 kilos of cocaine.


I should point out, because the article doesn't clarify this, that the nose candy probably didn't come from the shuttle, but just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

15. The Entente Cordiale

In 1904, England and France signed an agreement that ended almost a thousand years of conflict. They did so because King Edward VII wanted to visit French brothels.


I can think of worse reasons to sign a peace treaty.

19. The Hatfields-McCoy Feud

Records are vague about how this famous family feud started, but it now looks like the McCoys suffered from von Hippel-Lindau disease. This genetic condition creates tumors that cause "hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts."


If only they'd had a doctor in the family.

36. North African Campaign

Both sides during World War II left landmines in the African desert -- tens of millions of landmines. The climate preserved them so well that in the 21st century, ISIS dug up minefields as sources for explosives.


I want to know how they decided who was on mine-digging detail.

45. The Age Of The Samurai

High-ranking samurai strapped giant balloons to their backs. They inflated this bag, called a horo, to protect them from arrows.


I have Questions.

54. The Gold Rush

Gold wasn't the only way to make money when settlers headed to California. In 1851 and 1852, the state paid over a million dollars in bounties for killing or maiming Native Americans. One ad offered "$25 for a male body part, whether it was a scalp, a hand, or the whole body; and then $5 for a child or a woman."


I can see how that could easily be abused. I mean, of course it's abuse to start with, but I can see the bounty hunter now: "Here's a scalp, two hands and a body." "But the body is missing both hands and a scalp." "Huh. Go figure. I'll take my $100 in small bills, thanks."

Like I said, just highlights (or as in the case of that last one, lowlights) -- and we could use a little more historical perspective right about now.

© Copyright 2021 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1015251-In-the-Past