Porthole

Tuesday... again. Does the Bard know or care?

The weeks rush by. Not forecast to get as hot today... one can hope.

68 degrees at half past midnight... stuffy inside. 67 at 9 a.m. Never cooled down much but not forecast to get hot either.

Hard to sleep when there's roadwork all around me. As Billie Jo pointed out... a good alarm clock. I sleep best in the morning. Was 'forced' out of bed at the ungodly hour of 8 a.m!

Breakast a sandwich of toast and salad turnips.

Posted a new poll:

POLL

Once in a basement...a long way down...   (13+) Which prompt would inspire you to write flash fiction, a short story, a series of novels? #2252514 by Kåre เลียม Enga

Need to write a pathya vat by the 30th. Easier to make an private entry and then come back later when I'm inspired. " Mute [145]" 

There's a stiff breeze blowing, dispelling the heat; but, I feel flush in my dead-air room. I've opened the door, left it ajar, hoping no one passes by, looks in and sees the mess that has overwhelmed me.

I'm upset about that and about a friend who needs my help. I need to say no, even if it costs me his friendship. I'm no longer able to handle much. Perhaps I never was.

The old folks want me to speak up at a meeting tomorrow. I won't. Too much drama. I'm upset at how some things are done in Montana. I walked away 10 years ago to perserve my mental health. They don't understand.

It aggravates me even thinking about it.

So much triggers me. I want to be lost in writing, planning a trip, traveling. Yes, I'd like to have friends. But friends come with an emotional price tag. And I'm bankrupt.

Even here. I'm not a groupie. I feel awkward in groups. I live alone for many reasons.

The room has aired out a bit and it's getting late. I need to drink my last coffee.

I just commented to Brian: "I'm not good with friendships. Only Kevin for 24 years until his wife put an end to that. I'm not good at making friends and I'm not good at keeping them. My blog touches on that today. I'm adrift, nervous, afraid. Old shadows lurk. My traumas have been triggered. I do the best I can."

FORUM

The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+) DECEMBER is HOLIDAY RUSH: Shape Poetry Prompt! #981150 by SantaBee

4612