Wonderland 2021

I. Alice's Evidence - #1 "The Jury"

The Daily Doings

“The Jury for the Case of the Girl who Stole the Queen’s Tarts” was just posted in the weekly newsletter. The editor also got some personal testimonies from the citizens of the realm who are on the jury.

1.Chief Cook and bottle washer for the Queen - I spied the accused on the day of the robbery. She came into the kitchen when I was washing dishes. I saw her rob three tarts.

2.Chief Baker for the realm - On baking day, that would be Friday last, I made three dozen tarts. When my back was turned, the accused stole four tarts. I counted. You should throw her into jail.

3.Chief Butcher for the kingdom - The accused came into my shop on sausage-making day. That was on Whitsunday. She bragged about all the tarts she had in the bag she carried. Then she took a sausage. She still owes me for the sausage.

4.Chief Candlestick maker for the castle - I heard rumors about the accused. Perhaps they’re true. But maybe they’re not. I don’t really know. I’m waxing both ways.

5.Queen’s Child, Princess Chloe - She’s my babysitter. She feeds me tarts. I like tarts. I don’t care who makes them or where they come from. I like tarts.

6.Queen Mother - I don’t like the Queen’s tarts. That person can steal all the tarts she likes. The Queen, spoiled brat, won’t use my recipe. And it’s a good recipe, it’s been in the realm for generations.

7.Father of the Queen - I don’t get involved in family spats.

8.Teacher of Princess Chloe - Chole is a tattletale. I don’t know if I would believe her or not. She would tell a lie about anyone to get a free tart.

9.Sheriff of the Township - The accused deserves a fair trial. I say we hear her side of the story. But there is a free cell in jail with her name on it.

10.Priest of the Catholic Church - No one is guilty in the eyes of the Lord. I propose we let her come to confession and let me get the truth. Perhaps a nun could persuade her.

11.Dog - Woof, woof. Translated: I ate the tarts. You didn’t see it. You can’t pin it on me.

12.Cat - Meow, meow. Translated: I pushed the tarts on the floor so the dog could eat them. But I ate some first. But if the dog goes, I go.

The trial starts tomorrow. Everyone is anxious to know who actually stole the tarts. ‘The Daily Doings’ will report the verdict as soon as the judge makes the announcement.


I put down the paper, eat another tart. Will the jury find me guilty? I hope not.

W/C 448




Queen Norma Jean