Memories of Snow

April 29, 2014: I have to begin

I have to begin writing somewhere this morning, so it may as well be here. For some reason I can't seem to focus my mind and muse on one subject. My thoughts are wild and scattered. Hoping from one subject to another and then attempting to withdraw into a fantasy world. Perhaps I should write down the fantasy, but I can seem bring myself to do that either.

I have to respond to prompts. I have blog entries to make. I have a haiku to write and submit to a daily contest and all I can seem to do his hopscotch from one thought to another and from one image to another. I am not sure where to proceed from here. I think after I finish this, I will sit down and say some more prayers. I did recite my morning prayer and I attempted to recite another, but my thoughts kept getting distracted.

All my mind wants to do this morning is wander across different thoughts or from one thought to another without any connection between them. Writing this seems to help a little bit. At least, I can focus on what I am writing without my thoughts wandering too far off the subject. Sometimes coffee or cafe mocha helps me focus, so I warmed yesterday's leftover coffee up in the microwave and added some Oveltine to it. The only way I make cafe mocha any more is with rich chocolate flavored Oveltine; that seems to help a little.

I just have to keep writing without thinking. Maybe that is how I should approach the blog entries today, just start writing without thinking about what I am writing. At least, I would get them done although I am not sure how much sense they would make. This is Tuesday, but for some reason I think it is Wednesday. It is a good thing that I have a cellphone and a computer to tell me what day it is.

If this bout of wandering mind and confusion continues, I will have to call my doctor for an appointment to see what is causing the problem. My stomach gave me fits yesterday, so that could be what is causing my wandering mind today. I think I ate something that caused my stomach pains, but I am not sure what it was. It could also be that the medication I am taking cause constipation, which I experienced yesterday for a while, but I thought that bout was over with yesterday afternoon.

I seem to be able to focus now, which is good. Writing this while sipping cafe mocha helped. Maybe that should be one of my blog entries. At least, that is better then a rant about medication and constipation, which makes a better poem then a rant. I need to get out of the house more because that would help with my muse and my wandering mind or wild thoughts.

I do not have much gas in the car, so I have to be careful until I get more gas. I think I have enough to get me to the bank and the gas station. I have to check my bank account because I did not check it yesterday. Not that there will be any more money in then there was the last time I checked it, but at least it helps my wild and worried thoughts to check the account at least every-other-day.

My left wrist hurts and I think it is because I sprung (is that the right world) it when I opened the car door on Sunday night. I cannot open the door from the inside, so I have to roll down the window, stick my left arm out and open the door that way. That might make a good blog entry, as well. I could also use that as the beginning of the response to one of the prompts. A story about a sprung wrist would make a good Murphy's Law response.

The other prompt has to do with fear and something I am afraid of doing. I am not sure what to write about that because there are lots of things I am afraid of. My fear has increased since Mom died and it seems to have increased even more since I moved into this apartment. The only thing that makes me happy is to write, but I have to start doing some housework because I need to get things straighted form when I moved into this apartment.