The Minefields of Separation and Divorce

Epilogue

I hope what I have spoken about in this book will make a positive difference to how things turn out for you over the coming months and years. You are the master of your own destiny...cliche'? Yes. But it is a truth you must embrace in order for you to accept all of the bad, and all of the good that is coming your way. Be responsible, act decently towards others, realise that they may be going through tough times as well. Pay it forward, little things you do can make huge differences, not just to you, but to so many others. What goes around comes around, and if you live this, you will see it.

One day I was walking with the great Buddha.
I looked at him and said, “Buddha, you are so beautiful.”
He smiled and said, “I am merely the fertiliser,
Enriching the soil in which grows the flower...
The true beauty of this world."
"You my son are that flower.”

Footnote: There is something you should be made aware of and it has to do with property settlement, and the rules surrounding the division of the assets pool. To the Family Court, all assets accumulated during the course of the relationship, from the time you both move in together are seen as being jointly owned. They will look at certain things mentioned previously, but from the time you separate until you have consent orders stamped by the family court for the division of your property, all assets must be declared...even those accrued after the date of separation. In other words, if you win the lotto, you will only receive about half of the money (if you are lucky). If you work hard, doing lots of overtime, saving your money for a rainy day, every dollar you put into your nominated bank account will only see fifty cents to you, and fifty cents to your ex. Please keep this in mind and use your common sense.

So, consent orders for kids, consent orders for property and then divorce, in that order. And maybe if you're smart or lucky, you won't have to deal with a domestic violence order.

Nb: At this point in time, it has been five years since our divorce, and the consent orders I had hoped would bring to an end the 'Children available for cash' situation with my ex has not been the fix I had hoped for. In fact, nothing has really changed, other than her tactics. I have not seen my daughters for almost three years, and all attempts at contacting them had failed, until a recent letter came from one saying she loved and missed me along with her phone number.

There has been no explanation given, and when I asked my ex what it is all about, she is inconsistent with her answers but adamant she won't put anything down in writing, which to me suggests she has a message for me, but not one she wants anyone but me to hear. Money again becomes the issue and how much it will cost me to again see my kids, and even with consent orders in place, the issues that we face do not go away, they just shift from one place to another. Initiating proceedings for breach is one thing, but what will happen at the end of the day is something else entirely when you consider that no matter what I do, my kids are now not willing to see me, and forcing that upon them will make matters even worse.

So, again...is there any point to it all? Perhaps the answer to that lays in the future. In the meantime I sit here feeling like a huge hole has been ripped out of my heart, and there is nothing I can do about it.