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 |    Not for the faint of art. |
| Godsdammit. PROMPT July 14th If you won a free trip to any foreign country, all expenses paid in your own private jet and had the time to go (and there were no travel restrictions due to a global pandemic  ), what is the first foreign country you would visit? Who would you bring with you? What would you spend your time doing?Now? I'm going to do this prompt NOW? I've said some of this shit before, but I'm going to say it again for any new readers, and because I'm fucking pissed. In the American sense, not the British. Last year was my mostly-stay-at-home year. Not only did I want to conserve money for upcoming trips, but I wanted to lose weight so I wouldn't look like a typical American. I was mostly successful at both. The plan was to go to Scotland in May with a friend for the Islay festival. One tiny island, nearly a dozen Scotch distilleries. My friend ghosted me. Covfefe-19 happened. I didn't go to Scotland. Still, this was supposed to be the year I cut loose a little bit, traveled more, saw more movies in theaters, that sort of thing. Damn this pandemic to the fires of Oblivion. I have plans to visit Belgium next year with my friend Artemismad Scientist  . For that, I'm learning French. If I feel like I can understand that language, I'll also try to learn some Dutch. As a bonus, that means I could get by in France and the Netherlands also. Yes, I know that a lot of people in all those countries know English. That's no excuse; I refuse to be known as "the ugly American." This shit will not be resolved by next year. So I doubt I'm going to Belgium or France. Or Scotland. Or the Netherlands. Or Belize. Or even travel in the US.I'm prone to depression and this shit is not helping. Not the pandemic, not the travel restrictions caused by the pandemic, and certainly not prompts like this one. The only thing I have to look forward to these days is travel and death, and it looks like the latter is going to happen before the former. Even if I somehow manage to stay alive and reasonably healthy (unlikely), my passport will probably expire before I get a chance to travel again. And I haven't even used it since I last renewed. So you'll excuse me if dreaming about travel just makes me ranty. I'm generally a stay at home type, but what keeps me going, what keeps me from sinking into the dark depths of depression is a) booze and b) knowing that I can travel to try exotic booze. At least I still have (a). For now. The countries I mentioned are not my only desired destinations, but I try not to think of the others, so I'm going to stop myself right here. As for the prompt, ask me last year and I would have said "Scotland." And I still want to go to the Islay festival at some point, with someone who appreciates the world's greatest whiskey. Or whisky. I forget which countries spell it which way. After a few it won't matter anyway. But right now? In the utterly impossible scenario above? Belgium. With my friend, as I mentioned, and whoever else wants to go. Primarily, I'm interested in immersing myself, at least figuratively, in Belgian beer. Trappist ales, saisons, whatever. I can get some of them here -- I just had a nice couple of bottles of Delirium Nocturnum yesterday, and there's still one in my fridge along with a big bottle of Kwak -- but as with California and wine, they keep the really good stuff for themselves. And then there's the food. Ever seen the Belgian flag? I'm pretty sure it's a representation of chocolate, beer, and waffles. Belgium is the one country that out-Frenches the French when it comes to cuisine. But, contrary to popular belief (that I encourage), I can't eat and drink all the time. I'm curating a list of Belgian sites I want to visit. Here are a few: Musée Hergé, a museum dedicated to Belgium's most famous non-consumable export: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/herge-museum Speaking of Belgian beer: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/delirium-cafe The most metal sculpture in existence: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-atomium-brussels-belgium That Damme Canal: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/damme-canal "Yes, I'd like to visit the Hergé museum and also this one. Why are you looking at me like that?" https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/torture-museum-bruges Because why not: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/tour-cybernetique-cybernetic-tower "According to this bar, God gave an '11th commandment' to Antwerp: Thou shalt drink beer." https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/elfde-gebod-eleventh-commandment Yes, those are all from Atlas Obscura. I have at least a dozen more of them saved. I go to that site when I want to torture myself with dreams of places I can't freaking go to right now. Grrrr. Now I'm all depressed again. Maybe I'll open that last bottle of Nocturnum. |
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