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A nice place to collect my flash fiction entries. |
Terry's Pants or Sam's Pants? Either way Amber Does Without The siren blared, Terry couldn’t believe his luck. He glanced in the rear view mirror flashing lights were in pursuit of him. Oh no, State Patrol, this evening just keeps getting better and better. He pulled over, reached over to the glove box to get his car’s registration card. He shook his head looking down at his lap. He rolled his eyes at himself, Well Mom; at least I have on clean underpants. He tried to blow out his frustration and calm his shaken nerves. The trooper slowly walked up to the driver’s window. “License and registration please,” she said in all seriousness. Her hand appeared in the window. “I’m sorry officer, what’s the problem?” “You were doing 80 in a 65 zone. There’s an accident ahead, we don’t need any more wrecks tonight.” “Oh, I didn’t realize.” Terry handed her the registration card, “I don’t have my driver’s license. I kind of, um, left my pants at my date’s house.” She leaned over and peered down at his lap. “Sir, do you leave your pants at your date’s house and speed down the highway often?” “No, normally I bring my pants with me. Listen, this has been a horrible evening. I went on a date with my girlfriend, Amber. We’ve been dating, for a few weeks. She told me she had a dog. I like dogs. We always had dogs when I was growing up. I’ve never had a problem with dogs.” The officer interrupted, “Sir, you were speeding. You have no pants on. No driver’s license.” He paused, “You can call her, and she’ll confirm that I was there. Here, I’ll call her for you. She could bring my license.” Terry sighed, “Well I would if I had my pants.” The officer shook her head. “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just one glass of wine with dinner; I’m not drunk!” “Sir, please step out of the car.” “You've got to be kidding, right. I’m sitting here in my skivvies and you want me to get out of the car.” She raised her eyebrow. Terry looked at the officer and wondered if his mother had taught this young woman. That was one of the classic mom moves, one that guaranteed compliance. Slowly he opened the door and walked to the rear of the car covering his package with his hands. “I’m going to administer some field sobriety tests.” She directed him to close his eyes, tilt his head back and extend his arms. She watched as he touched the tip of his nose with precision. She observed his mannerisms and felt secure that he really wasn’t drunk. “Sir, I’m still going to have to write you a ticket for speeding and not having your license.” She paused thoughtfully, “I have a pair of shorts that might fit you in the trunk. I was going to return them to my brother but I think he’ll understand.” As they walked back to the rear of the cruiser, she opened a bag and pulled out a pair of gym shorts. She handed them to Terry, “They’re clean. If you’ll wait in your car, I’ll get the paperwork done and be right with you. Then you’ll be able to get on your way.” The trooper closed the trunk lid and proceeded to get into her cruiser. Terry grabbed the shorts with a curt thanks. He angrily strode back to his car practically falling twice as he tried to get away from the trooper and put on the shorts at the same time. He slammed the door shut waiting for the inevitable ticket fuming at the injustice of it all. That dog should get the ticket, not me. I wouldn’t be in this position if that demon dog hadn’t grabbed hold of my crotch when I tried to kiss Amber. Luckily for Terry, the dog missed his sensitive parts. But he held on tighter than a snapping turtle. Amber had pulled, yelled, tempted with treats, but that demon dog still had his pants when Terry jiggled his way out of them. Then when Amber tried to get him to stay saying that Sam would just play with his pants and get bored with them soon. Terry wasn’t buying it. He decided to cut his losses and call it a night. Amber was off limits and that dog was going to make sure nobody got near her. +++++++++++++ Amber stood before the Great Dane with her hands on her hips, shaking her head from side to side. “You know there are times! You’re big enough for a fur coat, you know.” Sam sat at attention; in front of him were the shredded pants left behind by one frightened man. Sam’s head was slightly cocked making it look like he was trying to understand why she was so mad. His tail wagged beating against the hard wood floors with a steady thump. He looked at her with nothing but love in his big brown eyes. She let out an exasperated gasp, throwing her hands into the air and stormed into the kitchen. “Sam, I swear if you yank the pants off of one more date, you’re going to the pound!” Sam followed her into the kitchen curling up on his bedding. Amber picked up the phone. Being mad at the dog wasn’t going to accomplish anything. She might as well call the source of all of this aggravation. +++++++++++ The phone rang, and she flipped open her cell. “Trooper Dickson here. Hey Amber, how’s it going, Sis?” She paused from filling out the forms, listening to her baby sister rant about the lunatic dog. “Hey Sis, I think your date would probably like his pants back.” Prompt: Write a story 1000 words or less or a poem 40 lines or less about what happens when one person's pet interferes with that person's social life or relationships. |
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