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An attempt at writing, while not writing. |
| Soap is a basic staple requirement of every man, woman, and child living on this planet. Throughout history, the formula for it has changed very little. That is, at least, until now. With the advent of marketing, soap is packaged and delivered and formulated into every combination conceivable. An entire chain of stores is now devoted to it, and from what I hear and see, they are doing very well. The time of washcloths and soap dishes is passed, and I couldn't possibly be more jubilant. For years I've begged and pleaded for soap that cost me a fortune, lasted only 2 weeks, and required a deep sea animal (I think that's what it is. They call it a loofah). The soap industry calls this a soap revolution, and for good reason. I notice that all my friends smell quite a bit more like guava melons, and other assorted fruits i've never actually seen or eaten. That's very revolutionary. All these fruity smells, though, make me very hungry. NO, not for that, get your head out of the gutter, I'm talking about food. Which, finally, leads me to the point. Fruity soaps are the root cause of obesity. Here is how you can fight back: go to the store and buy all of the Irish Spring w/Aloe soap. It's cheap, don't worry. Keep doing that. You don't have to actually wash with it, i don't care what you do with it. Give it to poor people maybe? Yes, of course that doesn't make sense. It does, though, lead the soap exec's to believe that people still wash with bar soap. This is very important for America. How so, you ask? Because I use bar soap. I like bar soap very much. It's cheap and it works. Did I mention that bar soap prevents obesity? it's national scotch day, and i could kill for a scotch right now. reluctantly, that's not my job. |
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