Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
I'm severely allergic to bees. I've learnt recently it's not just their venom I'm allergic too but also the pollen they collect or perhaps simply the way that humans collect that pollen involves it getting mixed up with their venom or some such. Either way, bee pollen is now something I avoid drinking and am very thankful the learning experience was not as severe as it could have been. It's interesting how knowing something could potentially kill you and almost has done sparks phobias. *ponders* Sometimes I think on it and wonder if my fear of bees could be considered a phobia since personally I think being afraid of something that could kill me is pretty rational. But really, I guess it's the extent of fear and the fact that I've been stung so many times in my life in so many different ways that any time I see a bee I'm afraid it'll sting me. Another interesting thing about bees is the vividness of my memories relating to them. I guess near death experiences have a way of being climatic focuses in life. I'm not sure how many times I've been stung but I remember 4 separate and specific incidences, two particularly life-threatening and two less so. One thing I've learnt about allergies is that for the most part they are something developed and not genetic. I learnt a great deal about venom allergies when I was young because as part of my 'treatment' I was regularly injected with it for I can't even remember how many weeks and months. What I do remember is that no matter how often I had the minutest strain of venom pumped into my arm I reacted badly and in never improved so eventually we gave up the desensitization program and just decided to keep me away from bees. lol Easier said that done. My mother tells me that when I was very young I got stung a lot. I couldn't imagine how at any age I could have been so careless to let something like that be a frequent occurrence. But today I change my estimation. I've learnt perhaps the very young recover too swiftly from such things. My baby boy got stung by a wasp and I was very glad I already knew allergies were not hereditary or I might have panicked. It's actually a very good sign of how well I manage myself these days that I didn't panic. My anxiety level spiked up a few notches but I coped. I evacuated the kids from the living room, opened the windows, closed the curtain and then got the hell out of there hoping the wasp would do the smart thing and use the closed curtains and the open windows as a sign it should get out from between the curtain and the window glass. One other advantage of being allergic to bees is I know how to treat stings. Of course for some reason you can't explain to a two year old that to prevent the venom spreading too much he should sit still and keep his finger above his heart. In fact, my two year old was far too chipper for a little boy with a wasp sting. My heart leapt when I first heard him from the other room where I'd been reading. He cried out in pain and a pain cry is very different from any other cry so I was in there in an instant. The window was slightly ajar so I though maybe it had swung in and snagged his finger which he showed me was the source of his pain. It was swelling with a little welt on the tip. I figured he must have caught it in the window but when I went to shut it the nasty culprit was still inside. I backed away, shuffled the kids out, crept across the room to open the other window, drew the curtains fully closed and then joined the kids with the living room door firmly closed against the miscreant. I settled baby boy on my bed trying to keep him still. He wasn't even crying any more. I dabbed his finger with a dot of detol (antiseptic, anesthetic cream) and watched him like a hawk. Sure the sensible part of me told me that odds were he'd only have a local reaction but the anxiety-heightened overanxious paranoid mother was worrying because if it wasn't only going to be a local reaction then I would be short on time. Anaphylactic shock moves quickly, kills quickly, especially someone as small as a two year old. Of course he wouldn't settle for more than a minute but after watching him for a good fifteen I was sure he'd suffer no more than a swollen finger if I could keep him still. I resorted to putting on a DVD which seemed to keep both kids entertained while I went to see if our visitor had departed via the windows yet. It hadn't. I was a little confounded about what to do with the situation at this point. The kids were safe and technically it was riskier for me to be near the wasp then it was for them. Wasp venom and bee venom is different but I knew from the desensitization that I was as allergic to both so getting stung by the little sucker would be a bad idea. But he wouldn't get out. I nudged the windows further ajar, pulled the curtain back so that he wasn't pushed against the glass and stood out front watching it fly around in circles. And in circles, and in circles. OMG wasps are so dumb. The open window was about two inches to the right if only it would go over the inch of wood that separated the solid front window with the two sets of open-out windows either side. I even sprayed water at the outside of the window hoping to guide its flight elsewhere or entice it for a drink. But all it did was fly, touch the wood go up the wood, touch the top of the window frame, fly to the left, come down, go right, touch the wood... You get the point. I went back into the other room and hung out with the kids for an hour then tried again but it was still there. By now it had stopped doing laps and settled against the glass so I got up the nerve to try a more direct approach. I had a drinking glass and my original intent was to guide it over to the window but I didn't want to risk removing the curtain from between myself and the wasp so I captured it under the glass, under the curtain. This led to a dilemma of sorts because with the curtain in the way I couldn't slide the glass or put something under the glass to hold it in there. My nerves were in tatters because all that stood between me and something very small but very deadly was a glass and a curtain. In the end I decided it was an it or me situation and rolled the glass over it. Part of me feels guilty. I have a dead wasp in a plastic container because I got evil and killed it. *sighs* I know I shouldn't feel guilty but really it wasn't meaning to do any harm. Yes it was stupid but it hadn't intended to come in the window and wouldn't have if my precocious two-year-old hadn't opened the window. It would have left if glass weren't clear and impenetrable. Still, it's a wasp, dead, in a box. I look at it and even knowing its dead and in a box my anxiety spikes again. I watched it for a while after it was dead and its stinger still moves. Isn't that weird? Even dead its stinger pulses trying to sting things. I knew these things are dangerous even after death and thus why its in a box. I'll toss it out tomorrow; probably bury it in a corner of my yard where I won't risk stepping on it. The only reason I've kept it so far is because I wanted to have a good look and a google to find out what kind of wasp it was. Anyway, that was the drama of my day, the excitement of my weekend. What a highlight huh? Near death experience? Oh and baby boy? Finger isn't even swollen now. How's that for irony. His mother could die from a wasp sting and he has a local reaction that lasted maybe three or four hours. I guess the real trouble is this is his first at two years old. Sure I'm super cautious about avoiding these things for both me and my kids but its perfect timing to begin developing an allergy. I'm pretty sure the episode hasn't even taught him to fear and not touch flying stinging creatures. He's far too curious and outgoing for his (and my) wellbeing. You know, for someone allergic to these tiny insects I've had a lot of episodes with them in my lifetime. It reminds me of a couple of years back when we found a nest of them in the kitchen. Which reminds me of another occasion when one invaded the bedroom. *ponders* I'm starting to think it's time I invested in refitting all of my windows. Get ones that slide and have fly screens fitted. If only insurance would cover 'potential death from insect invasion'. |