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 |   Tales from real life |
"Life, like love, is as simple as ABC: Always Be Cheating!" - The Gospel of Trump The inaugural address was a truly comedic performance. Setup: I will, very simply, put America first Punchline: Federal grants and loans must advance President Trump's priorities Setup: The unfair weaponization of the Justice Department and our government will end Punchline: Trump pulls security details from political enemies Setup: our government confronts a crisis of trust Punchline: absolute presidential immunity Punchline: pardons for insurrection co-conspirators Setup: Our country can no longer deliver basic services in times of emergency Punchline: Trump suggests abolishing FEMA Setup: the entire nation is rapidly unifying behind our agenda Punchline: Except for the 48 percent of Americans who disapprove of Trump Setup: defeat what was record inflation and rapidly bring down costs and prices Punchline: inflation hit 8% under Biden, 12% under Reagan, currently at 3% Punchline: 100 % tariffs will raise prices in all sectors and cause widespread inflation Setup: I will also declare a national energy emergency Punchline: the end of wind and solar energy production Setup: establish the brand-new Department of Government Efficiency Punchline: Trump fires independent inspector generals Setup: I also will sign an executive order to immediately stop all government censorship Punchline: Trump orders Google Maps to rename Gulf of Mexico Setup: Never again will the power of the state be weaponized to persecute political opponents Punchline: Trump fires DOJ prosecutors who worked on insurrection investigation Setup: restore fair, equal, and impartial justice under the constitutional rule of law Punchline: a blatantly unconstitutional violation of the 14th amendment Setup: We will forge a society that is colorblind and merit-based Punchline: except for presidential cabinet nominees Setup: President McKinley made our country very rich through tariffs Punchline: McKinley later called his tariff policy a mistake Setup: we will end the chronic disease epidemic and keep our children healthy Punchline: Trump nominates anti-vaxxer for Secretary of Health and Human Services Punchline: Trump bars CDC from cooperation with World Health Organization Setup: The United States will once again consider itself a growing nation Punchline: deport millions and millions of aliens back to the places from which they came Setup: We are one people, one family, and one glorious nation under God Punchline: Bishop criticized by Trump after asking for mercy for immigrants Setup: bring unity to a world that has been angry, violent, and totally unpredictable Punchline: Don't treat them gently, hit back harder, I'd like to punch him in the face. Punchline: 2nd amendment people can 'do something' about liberal judges Punchline: I like turnover. I like chaos. It really is good Wow, comedy gold! And these are only a few highlights from his first week. I'm laughing so hard it hurts. |
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