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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/1082943
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #2257228
Tales from real life
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#1082943 added January 28, 2025 at 11:08pm
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May the Farce be with You

         "Life, like love, is as simple as ABC:  Always Be Cheating!" - The Gospel of Trump


The inaugural address was a truly comedic performance.

Setup:       I will, very simply, put America first
Punchline: Federal grants and loans must advance President Trump's priorities

Setup:       The unfair weaponization of the Justice Department and our government will end
Punchline: Trump pulls security details from political enemies

Setup:       our government confronts a crisis of trust
Punchline: absolute presidential immunity
Punchline: pardons for insurrection co-conspirators

Setup:       Our country can no longer deliver basic services in times of emergency
Punchline: Trump suggests abolishing FEMA

Setup:       the entire nation is rapidly unifying behind our agenda
Punchline: Except for the 48 percent of Americans who disapprove of Trump

Setup:       defeat what was record inflation and rapidly bring down costs and prices
Punchline: inflation hit 8% under Biden, 12% under Reagan, currently at 3%
Punchline: 100 % tariffs will raise prices in all sectors and cause widespread inflation

Setup:       I will also declare a national energy emergency
Punchline: the end of wind and solar energy production

Setup:       establish the brand-new Department of Government Efficiency
Punchline: Trump fires independent inspector generals

Setup:       I also will sign an executive order to immediately stop all government censorship
Punchline: Trump orders Google Maps to rename Gulf of Mexico

Setup:       Never again will the power of the state be weaponized to persecute political opponents
Punchline: Trump fires DOJ prosecutors who worked on insurrection investigation

Setup:       restore fair, equal, and impartial justice under the constitutional rule of law
Punchline: a blatantly unconstitutional violation of the 14th amendment

Setup:       We will forge a society that is colorblind and merit-based
Punchline: except for presidential cabinet nominees

Setup:       President McKinley made our country very rich through tariffs
Punchline: McKinley later called his tariff policy a mistake

Setup:       we will end the chronic disease epidemic and keep our children healthy
Punchline: Trump nominates anti-vaxxer for Secretary of Health and Human Services
Punchline: Trump bars CDC from cooperation with World Health Organization

Setup:       The United States will once again consider itself a growing nation
Punchline: deport millions and millions of aliens back to the places from which they came

Setup:       We are one people, one family, and one glorious nation under God
Punchline: Bishop criticized by Trump after asking for mercy for immigrants

Setup:       bring unity to a world that has been angry, violent, and totally unpredictable
Punchline: Don't treat them gently, hit back harder, I'd like to punch him in the face.
Punchline: 2nd amendment people can 'do something' about liberal judges
Punchline: I like turnover. I like chaos. It really is good

Wow, comedy gold! And these are only a few highlights from his first week.

I'm laughing so hard it hurts.




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