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 |  I've maxed out. Closed this blog. |
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This is a way of making myself write something coherent and grammatically correct almost every day. I'm opinionated and need an outlet. I'm also prone to flights of fancy. Thanks for stopping by. |
| A long-standing family tradition is to have oyster stew on Christmas morning. Forget the presents and Santa. Just give us the buttery oyster-slimy hot milk and crackers! It was my grandparents' custom, and I don't know how many generations, if any, before that. My mom's family did oyster stew as well, but I don't know if that's a regional thing, or if my dad influenced them. My grandfather, who lived close by, would come to our house Christmas morning to see what Santa had left us. Then he would eat a second bowl of oyster stew with us. He covered his with black pepper. It was a sea of pepper. When I was a kid, I couldn't eat the oysters, but I liked the oyster juice in the salty milk, with saltines. My grandmother served it with oyster crackers, the little ones that float on top. I prefer the saltines, and I like them crunched up in the stew. I have known others who like to butter the saltines and eat them on the side with their stew. I suspect it started as a regional thing, since we're not far from the Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay. However, there is a moratorium on their oysters right now while they clean up the Bay and restock the oyster beds. With modern trucking, the oysters can come from almost anywhere. If I can't get them from the mid-Atlantic, I want them from Louisiana or the Gulf Coast. I do eat the oysters these days. I try to cut back on the saltines, but I have to have them. My dad likes some salty ham cut up in his, not cooked in, but added at his plate. These days we only have three for breakfast, not a whole house full. With children, and great-grandchildren, Santa keeps them too late to come over. And they have to hit all the grandparents, including divorced ones, so they have a lot of rounds. We don't have guests or "dates" over either any more. I miss the days when we could expect non-relatives for breakfast or lunch. But we will still have oyster stew, even if there were only one, because we like it. And because it's tradition. It's our history. Many memories are tied to it.  |
 It's surprising to me how many people don't know about Christmas. They know they get a holiday at work, but don't understand why. They'll take presents, and maybe will shop, maybe not. It's no big deal. At my job, as a way of interacting with the employees and getting them involved with administration without talking business, I asked some fun Christmas questions. The people with the right answers first would get a poinsettia that we were using for decorations. I stayed away from religious questions, knowing that a lot of people wouldn't understand, because of other religious traditions. But I was amazed that so many people didn't get the secular questions either. Only an occasional person knew a Christmas movie like "Home Alone". I found about 3 people who knew that the guy in the red suit was named Santa Claus. No one knew Frosty the Snow man. A few knew Rudolph was the red-nosed reindeer. Only 2 people knew any other reindeer. No one knew Jack Frost. The Mexicans couldn't even say the lyrics of a Spanish Christmas carol, although one remembered the name Feliz Navidad. I did get 3 people to sing Jingle Bells together. Other people perked up to listen, but wouldn't help out. I went table to table in a very large room, and felt like I was Jay walking with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, doing American history questions with school teachers or other people on the street. I'm afraid Christmas doesn't have much meaning even in the secular sense to many people. There are no traditions to carry on. There's no peace, good will, no charity. It's just time off from work, maybe. It made me a little sad. This time of make-believe and good cheer, of religious reverence, of festivity and celebration, is not prevalent even in our own close up community. I want everyone to feel excited, to anticipate family time and cozy togetherness. I want them to feel some joy even in the most adverse circumstances. They seem oblivious to it all. Doesn't anyone watch TV or read children's books? I hear people complaining about taking Christ out of Christmas or sending emails or making Facebook posts about the same. I think they're missing it. It seems like people just want to get rid of Christmas, period. It almost seems like a holiday that emphasizes joy, good will, peace, family, and child-like innocence is offensive. I don't believe religion is at the center of it. It seems like it's too wholesome a day in an unwholesome society. A day that celebrates the possibility of the absence of strife and hostility is too much to bear for a warlike world that looks for agitation and discord. Tough, I'm not politically correct. Peace, Merry Christmas, and Good Will to All. I'm going to have some eggnog, and wrap presents, hang some ornaments that I will have to dust off and put away in a few weeks, and prepare some food for guests. I will donate to the food bank; I've already bought presents for several charities. I'll attend a few concerts, and will tell the children about Frosty, Jack Frost, and will sing Christmas carols until I croak to anyone who hears, willingly or otherwise. Don't forget the elves are watching to see that you behave. |
| Taking a break from the annual all day Christmas dinner. I'm in administration (not management) and have to be available all 3 shifts for the big party. We have to decorate, meet the caterers, receive the flowers-which become door prizes, hand out candy, distribute the company Christmas cards with receipt to pick up a ham or turkey next week, and then clean it all up. We walk from one end of the complex to the far end across the street, through over-street links, pushing heavy carts laden with things, and stand around smiling at all the employees. So now my feet are killing me. I could take a nap. I've had two pieces of fried chicken and think I'll be sick by bedtime. I washed counters and mopped up spilled food in my good clothes. I have one more shift to go. Fortunately, we catch them early in their shift so that we can leave about midnight. When I first started doing this, I didn't mind. I wanted to spread cheer, and meet all the employees who were just names on files to me. Now, I'm feeling differently. I meet them all when they have problems with paychecks, deposits, hospital bills, etc. I enroll them each year for insurance. I see them in the various offices for various reasons. But all in one day has gotten tiresome. I try to throw a little spirit in there, a "Merry Christmas". And when someone hugs me, and says they are grateful to us, it feels good. When I'm joking with someone in Spanish or Nepali, and they're blushing or whatever, it's fun. But I'd like to do just one shift a day. And we use the same caterer each time, so that's getting old. Then there are the whiners and complainers. No matter how hard you work, someone doesn't like it. And then there are the employees who want to run the whole show and act like they're in charge. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I don't care. That's the new leaf. Anyone can be in charge. Anyone can take the credit. They can complain all they want. I don't care. It sounds easier than it is. But, hey, I don't care. I'll sleep late tomorrow. I'll enjoy the moments I can. Maybe I'll be a positive force somewhere. But I'm not stressing over it. I'm too tired. |
| I'm discovering things about my father I never knew. He's 86. He's still evolving. He wants to write a book. He's not really into the writing part. He wants to tell a story, and let other people read it. He's always been a story teller with his halting speech. We've heard the stories so many times, we help him along or prompt him. But they're usually stories about country life back in the 30's and 40's. He can keep an audience spellbound with his simple stories. But that's not what he wants in his book. He wants a book about the people he's known and worked with. He thinks they're fascinating and should be know by others. He claims he's worked with 3 preachers (not the full-time kind, but regular working guys called to preach), over a dozen alcoholics, country people, including from the hillbilly areas, and many others. So now he's computer shopping. He's interested in the WOW computer for seniors. But it's over a thousand dollars for a desktop, and the keyboard looks normal. The screen is 22", and the images can be enlarged. So it's aimed at Web surfing, not typing with stiff, arthritic fingers. We found one similar to it at the local branch of an office supply store, for about $400 less, Of course, we could get him a micro-cassette recorder, if he would just use it, and my brothers and I could type it orderly. Whether anyone read it or not besides a few personal friends wouldn't matter. He'd have the satisfaction of writing it. He's never had a cell phone, but so many people around him have one, that he's thinking about a Jitterbug. I can't get him to read from a Kindle, but he wants to get modern in other ways. Maybe it's time for him to retire. He can stay home with some new technology toys, keep up with his yard work, and go to the senior luncheon once a month. We're afraid he'll sleep all the time and waste away. But he goes to church every week and sees people. If he adds in these new hobbies, and does the outdoor stuff, he'll be okay. |
| I heard a song once, that obviously didn't become a big hit, that said the meaning of Christmas was still the same through time and space even though the world has changed. And I realized, yeah, Christmas has changed. Local area parades have gone away. Santa makes many grand appearances in an area, not just one big first appearance and then stores. We use gift bags more than boxes, and gift cards instead of cash. We're not so offended by artificial trees. They're a little safer than real ones we allow to get too dry. They're easier to clean up and put away. They don't leak sap, or come with bugs. Nobody goes out to the woods to get running cedar for garlands or shoots mistletoe out of trees. Even boxwood wreaths are easier to make now with the floral supplies not even on the market to make the old style. And colored trees are more acceptable in modern dwellings. Even Christmas cards have changed. Postage forbids sending them out to everyone you know like when I was a kid. The cards are way more expensive and often have silly greetings.When I was a kid, we proudly displayed all the cards we received. It was a big part of the decorations. And everyone who sent us a card this year got one the following year. And food changes with or without holidays. If you look at every decade of the 20th century, there were major changes and innovations in packaging, cooking, preserving, and influences. So why wouldn't that affect the holiday menu? For the last three decades, we've heard a lot about fried turkey. I have yet to try any, but I hear it's excellent. Before the huge fryers, no one ever mentioned such a thing. We change, too. We don't have the same energy at 40 that we did at 21, or we develop health problems, or we work too much, and don't get enough rest, or have time for parties. Our families change. The children grow up, get married, have in-laws. We lose loved ones who were central to holiday festivities. Divorces happen and things change. My point is that we should expect every Christmas to be like the ones we remember. It's good to shake things up every couple of years and change the routine. Decorate with a different theme. Have an alternate menu with just a few favorites. Do it at someone else's house. We set our own expectations too high. And maybe the memories of the perfect Christmases are fuzzy. Maybe they weren't that perfect. We only remember the good times, or the really bad times. So, if we truly believe in peace on earth, or the advent of Christ, or good will amongst men, traditions, rituals, and customs don't matter. It's what we feel, and what we share that counts. |
| Now that Christmas is only 2 weeks away, a reminder to be cautious is not out of order. I know everyone is busy, but not using the phone for calling or texting while driving could save your life. Not driving after a couple of drinks is a good idea. Not letting your friends and business associates drive after drinking is responsible thinking. Aside from traffic, the home and office are accidents waiting to happen as well. Gift wrap and presents near the heater or fireplace could be a problem. Presents in front of a window invite burglars. Leaving your front door unlocked while you're in the backyard raking leaves can be dangerous. Piggy banks and new toys should be kept hidden when you're not at home or have service people in the house. Most home accidents come from slips, trips, and falls. So be sure electrical cords are covered to avoid a heel from getting caught. No toys or empty wrappers should be on the floors or stairs. Check night lights, porch lights, and lights on the stairs to be sure every member of the house or guest can see how to maneuver. Remember, just because you can see the stairs just fine does not mean that Grandma can. At my brother's house, there is a tall tree, but there are no decorations on the bottom half of the tree. The toddler is a hazard to himself and others. So we aren't going to put anything on the bottom of our tree, maybe not that high up, for all the toddlers who come to our house. They don't come that often or stay long, but we don't want to lose ancient ornaments that have sentimental value to us. It's better not to use them this year. And if you have a live tree, be sure it gets watered regularly. At our office, we're not allowed to use any natural product like holly, ivy, or trees, by order of the fire marshal. Be safe. Think safety every day. |
| A group of which I am a member does several projects for Christmas every year. We even have a treasury, and at the end of the year, after all expenses are evened up, we give all of what remains to the area food bank. We adopt kids from the local schools and get presents as one of our projects. This year they did the list a little differently. There are still the same number of kids, but more givers. So we didn't have to do clothing or big gifts. The last boy on the list was a 15 year old boy, who was assigned to me and one other lady. Besides clothes, his request was for X-box and/or I-tunes points. We're out of it when it comes to this stuff. Fortunately, there was a grandmother in the group who could almost explain it. My toy buddy asked, "How are we defining 'needy' these days, if the parents who ask for help can afford devices to use these and pay monthly fees? Good point. Maybe the money they have isn't budgeted very well, and that doesn't teach the kids any thing good. We did as we were instructed, and got the cards. However, we learned from a teenager, they are now just called X-box bucks, not points. So he should be plenty happy with his I-tunes and X-box. It makes me realize that a lot of us were "needy" when I was growing up, but we didn't know it. My parents never would have asked for help or accepted it if approached. And my family was pretty well-off compared to my country cousins. Everything is relative, I guess. Everyone wants to keep up with the head of the pack. I believe that doing good has its own rewards. Sometimes I fear that maybe doing "good" is more for us than the recipients. |
| We have a strange widespread mentality going on in our country. Part of it says it's not necessary to respect those in authority. Talk back to your teachers, challenge the owner or manager of the store, or disobey a police officer. It doesn't matter whether it's black or white, the attitude is the same. I've seen it in rednecks in shopping centers, other business places, or public parks. Instead of saying, "Yes, sir", or complying with directions, they get mouthy and end up being manhandled and surrounded very quickly by a whole group of cops instead of just one. I know of an officer who was going to let a speeder off with just a warning--his quota was already full--but the wife started cussing from the passenger seat and chewed out the officer, so he gave the driver a ticket. Her big mouth hurt his record and maybe his insurance premiums, when he might have gotten off free, even though he had broken the law. We've been reading about this authority problem lately in the news, where some men tangled with cops and died. Although with considerably less public reaction, a white man was shot by a black cop in the same sort of situation since the other incidents. All of them were breaking the law when the problem happened. Whether or not the policeman in each case overreacted, the situation would not have occurred in any of those 3 cases if the one killed had not been breaking the law, first, and second, had obeyed the police officer when confronted. Each could have lived to file a grievance against the officer. The older generation, people my age and older, would comply with the cops because that was the way we were raised. Apparently, my generation didn't instill that value in the younger generations and now they're paying for it. The other side of this mentality is that we should overlook certain crimes. I actually saw a protester photographed holding a sign that read, "No mother should have to worry about her son getting killed when he robs a convenience store." The sad part is he wasn't being sarcastic. That is seen as a minor grievance. Since when is stealing a minor grievance? What happened to right and wrong? Shame and guilt? A very large segment of our society is way off track. Somehow we've got to get back to basics. Instead of throwing out the ten commandments, we should be teaching, "You shall not steal", "You shall not lie", etc.Kids and young adults need to be held accountable, long before they get to the court system. The schools, the churches, the homes all play a part in this accountability. Those of us who are not currently parents, teachers, cops, or community leaders, need to be setting a good example of honesty and justice. |
| When I lived far from home, and returned to visit at least twice a month (every week after Mom had a severe heart attack), I had plenty of time in the car. So I would sing every Christmas song and carol that I could remember. Even on work days, it took 20 minutes or more to get to work. Being alone in the car afforded me some singing time. Now I'm back in my parents' home, working only minutes away. But I work in a busy university area with no parking. So I ride the bus. You can't sing on the bus, even if it does take half or an hour or more to get where you're going. You can't sing at the bus stop or while walking to the bus stop. So I don't sing Christmas stuff like I used to do. At home, while cleaning or washing dishes I might sing, but so far this year, I haven't gotten to Blue Christmas, White Christmas, or Mele Kelikimaka once. Just for the record, I love Darius Rucker's voice, and I love hearing him sing about snow. Maybe one day, I'll just go sit in the driveway with the motor running for one or two songs to feel a little seasonal glee. Old habits are hard to break, you know. I heard that singing releases hormones that are good for you. I need something good for me. |
| One year Christmas was very tight for me. I showed up at my family home, the location where I grew up, with all my gifts unwrapped in a laundry basket. I handed them out to everyone. I was very ashamed and embarrassed, but had little money for gifts, and no time for wrapping. I didn't really want to be there with all my generous family, but knew my parents would be stressed with a no show. I lived about 70 miles away, but showed up Christmas morning. The following year and almost every year after that until just before he died, my younger brother gave me a Thanksgiving gift each year. He'd wrap up about $200 or roll it up or put it in an envelope, never the same way twice, and would give it to me to go Christmas shopping. And he was always very generous with everyone at Christmas, even people he didn't like so much. He was "Mr. Christmas" to us. This brother was rough and tough on the outside. But he was tender-hearted and kind. He taught my whole family what generosity is. He gave us a love for Christmas giving. It will never be quite the same without him. But he's always with us in spirit. We give to others, following his example. |
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