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 |  My Blog. Generally Intended for Reading-Not Eating!. |
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Rose-Tinted Ramblings ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** A Little of What You Might Expect & A Lot of Everything Else that You Don't!. My writing style for my blog is invariably 'snarkastic'. This is because I am a nice, unassuming and quietly-spoken person IRL-and this blog is where my innermost moments and torments happen. Trust me, I am no exception to that delightful rule. Greetings! Welcome to my THIRD blog here on WDC. A re-incarnation of my earlier version of my Blog, here "Insanties and Sensibilities" this v.03 should prove to be equally...challenging and hopefully, entertaining. That said, life often weaves through our writing in mysterious ways, and this Blog will probably prove to be no exception to that. We are very likely all quite different, yet the same, us writers and our collective little whims, fascinations and insecurities. |
| August 23, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 63 (F) Sunny, with a few clouds. Events of Note: Preparing to go back up to the mountain house. In the Nudes: Olympic wind-downs and whiners.  One of the spin-off effects of maintaining a blog, is that certain dates, whenever they appear, somehow trip the lights of rememberance within the deepest corners of our psyche. August 18 is one such date for me. For the first time in ten years, this year, it took me several moments to make certain connections. Ten years since I accepted a ride from someone whom I thought could/would do me no harm whatsoever...At the end of June, this year, while in Christchurch, New Zealand, we drove close by several locations closely connected to that trauma of mine. One was a prominent, heavily signposted turn-off. From there, the road and surroundings change rapidly, and the river runs alongside the back of some scruffy, dense road-side brush. That same road then divides twice more. If you're not being vigilant, you'll miss the spot where I ended up being taken, entirely. As police detectives noted to me when looking for the area for themselves, the location in question is a literal maze-a string of roads to nowhere in particular. The other, was crossing the main road-bridge for the river, itself. As a major arterial bridge, it's had its fair share of incidents and accidents through there, and yet it is the river, riverbank and surrounding landscape that has let evil lurk and prosper. Simply writing descriptively of that space, makes my skin crawl, and my adrenaline spike upwards. How that river has ruled and has run through my life. Five years of crisis intervention/cognitive therapy for serious sexual assault, and I wonder if my offender ever really complied with his sex offender treatment program requirements, his 18 months of monitoring and probation, all of which seems laughable compared with the sentence that I've been serving. The saddest part for me, is that nothing has changed. That awful space is the same as it ever was. Thankfully, that river no longer rules my life. The offender is dead. I have no energy left in me for vengeance, even anger. I'd much rather re-direct my mental resources into helping someone else. .  On a note on living in the here and now, my devoted husband has been lovingly supportive of me while I haven't been feeling great at the moment. Steady streams of cups of tea, warm baths, light meals...and moral support. This is what makes the difference-the little things in everyday life-that which gives life quality, and memories to cherish.  We head back up to the mountain house again on Monday, and will be away from here for a few days of respite and recreation. Frankly, it will be light relief. "Beanie" will have plenty of indoor and outdoor activities to choose from, as well as our devoted and undivided attention. Soon, she will be off to school....how time escapes us. P.S: I also have a clinic appointment early next week, and hopefully, can have some of my questions answered, and symptoms otherwise accounted for. |
| August 21, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 69 (F) Sunny. Events of Note: An explanation. In the Nudes: Running mates debates Waiting on news of my uncle is making me very antsi-I can't sit still, and when I do sit, I dwell. Granted, no news is likely good news, but my mother (bless her heart) does have a casual track-record where communicating important news is concerned. Sometimes, it is difficult to adequately convey the additional stress of sitting on the opposite side of the planet to where all of the 'action' is happening.  In addition, I have something else that is perturbing me more than somewhat-I haven't had my period since the beginning of June. My cycle runs like clockwork. It has, my whole life. 28 days. Lucky me, huh?. Ordinarily, pregnancy would be a usual explanation for that. Only, my pregnancy tests are all negative (so far). Yet, I feel pregnant, in addition to experiencing major headaches, bloating and intense anxiety. Maybe my crossing the international date-line in the opposite direction did something obscure to my female GPS?. If I was pregnant, I'd feel very conflicted. Medically, there are no issues with my becoming or being pregnant, as my Ob/Gyn once cheerfully noted-it's the delivery part that puts me into the extreme high mortality risk territory. A major reason why my husband and I decided together - no more children, amongst other reasons, which are personal to us. So, after a vacation in New Zealand that was basically ruined and continually compromised by my feeling plain awful, moody, and physically drained, I'm off to my clinic, to see if they can venture an explanation. Anything might be an improvement on waiting...and wondering. Oh, that, and the burning issue of my bursting into tears spontaneously. That really throws "Beanie" off her feel-good groove. That's what's been happening for me, and is also why I haven't written a continual screed on our recent N.Z. expedition, nor posted any photographs of our trip (yet). I will. In time. Sorry this is such a 'venting' entry, but I just had to write here, and to let my words and tears flow in the same space. |
| Once there were four people, named Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody. When there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Somebody’s job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but realized that Nobody would. So it ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place. Ahh-one of my favorite premises for ending an argument, once and for all. And, because Somebody has to do it, and That Somebody, is Probably Me!.  |
| August 20, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 69 (F) Foggy. Events of Note: Getting back to "normal". In the Nudes: Ethnic cleansing happening in Georgia?. This month has been strange. Neither here, nor there. Slept badly last night. It was such a sticky, muggy, humid, horrible night-the kind where you wish fervently for rain, just so that the temperature might drop slightly. No word on my uncle. I may go back to bed. Or, I would, except that "Beanie" (currently watching something Kids PBS) has dreams and desires, and I'm even more than usual totally besotted with my child. I know, I know, that probably won't last...More later, as my mental fog clears... |
| August 19, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 77-73 (F) Cloudy, with sunny breaks Events of Note: Homecoming. In the Nudes: Fay in Florida.  After a lazy morning, we ambled casually down to the river for some much-anticipated swimming. I should clarify: the river was remarkably, heart-shattering cold-the water flows from a nearby lake from a depth of around 4 meters. It's mountain chilling, and goose-pimple nurturing. Both "Beanie" and I experienced sudden soakings because of water-lounger mis-calculations. Afterwards, we warmed up by sunning ourselves on surrounding rocks. My bikini that fitted me last year, is a poor fit, this year. A new one is "in the mail" as they say :) Other than that, we all ate well and healthfully for the past two days, my husband managed some dental care at the frontier medical clinic, and we slept underneath the stars, last night.  My uncle is having his brain surgery today, and will be in the hospital for the next five days. I'm worried that he may not come through it. "Beanie" is distressed, too. They became great pals while we were in N.Z. Home now - and the fleas are STILL in-residence (after three flea bombings). More later... |
| August 16, 2008. Whether the Weather: 57 (F) Foggy Events of Note: Cupcake anyone?. In the Nudes: New Zealand finally starts winning some Olympic Gold medals. As Nada   correctly pointed out, I wrongly named John McCain in yesterday's entry. Shame on me!. I blame my recent struggle with communication on my slow assimilation back into living in this country again, where 'i' s don't sound more like 'u' s, and so on. Technically, I'm supposed to be baking cupcakes of every assorted flavor and combination for a children's party to be held tomorrow afternoon, but I've been curled up on the downstairs couch, nursing an aggravated appendix. It's a 'grumbler' and has been this way ever since I can remember. My grandfather was the same, until he finally relented and had his out in his 70s. We're headed up to the mountain house on Monday, so am hoping my appendix cheers up before then, because that definitely isn't somewhere that I really want to take my cranky companion. Personally, I'll swap a calming, cooling river dip anytime for this creep!. Anyway, something must be running right because "Beanie" is hanging out with her new favorite babysitter-our DVD player |
| ...and I'll CROW if I want to. Awww, the Dems are throwing a pity party for Hillary Clinton. The very thought makes my red (or blue) blood run cold. Will she be Barack's running mule, or not?. Gosh, I'm sincerely hoping for not. Still, whatever happens, there'll be plenty of post-morteming, with or without a "Morgue" sign swinging on a particular political door. Even more gruesome, Mr. Trump is now land-lady, er, landlord for John McCain. Any way to make a political statement. Just so long as you don't fib to the Feds about it. I woke up this morning, and the sun was still shining, the earth continuing to turn, and the birdies resuming their maddening chirping - always a comforting sign. After yesterday's internal turmoils and general shittiness in the Rainbowapple household, today has been a complete contrast. "Beanie" is engrossed and grossed out by watching one of the variants of "Shrek". I'm using a cup and saucer for my afternoon tea that looks like a prop from Alice in Wonderland. It's massive!. |
| August 14, 2008. A relative of mine (who shall remain nameless) premises every email she writes and sends, with the phrase, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it". Such a prophetic observance would have more credibility for me, if my relative wasn't so ****...EARNEST about it. Fork it!. Am I being mean?. Yes. I'm full of hormones, and everything is ticking me off soundly (including my beloved husband, who also told me to "F-Off" today), so just choose something, anything, and I'll happily start tearing strips. Anytime now would be excellent with me. As an aside, my husband and I resolved our differences (never go to bed pissy with each other) after we wandered around a space that carries a sea of sentimental memories special to simply us, as a couple. Afterwards, we had a late dinner out with my BIL and "Beanie". Tonight also included the third consecutive bombing of our house for fleas. Let's hope all the little bastards have perished because trying to sleep while itching is getting, well.....tiresome. |
| August 12, 2008. Whether the Weather be: 57 (F) Cloudy-trying to grizzle, er, drizzle Events of Note: Nothing is the same as it ever was. In the Nudes: George and Georgia. Closing up our house for two months has its drawbacks. Namely, that I can no longer remember where I put anything of importance to the running of said household. All we seem to want to do is eat, bathe and sleep in equally disturbing large quantities. Slightly unfortunate. Was hoping for an early evening sail on my BIL's boat, but the breeze didn't really pick up fiercely enough. Instead, "Beanie" opted for a tentative run out in the sailing canoe-the marina was so calm, the water was like glass. Lots of seals, jellyfish and tiny fish quietly appeared. Mild and misty, but not exactly tropical, either. Below, some (largely raw and unedited) observations from our recent New Zealand sojourn. The first part in an ongoing series-this deals with the most innocuous and non-threatening part-out and about in the Kiwi land and seascapes. Being a rancher's daughter means I get to also toss in some sentiments about the Kiwi agricultural industry. Just like a day at the cattle sale, really?. Anyway, pull up a pew, if you've nothing better to do...By contrast, at the bottom of the world, the subject of the weather and climate conditions resembles something of a sort of cloud-cuckoo status. I'd forgotten how life is so very harsh and unforgiving there. We probably experienced every sort of severe Winter weather "event" that can be imagined. A driving route that runs alongside the Eastern side of the Southern Alps of the South Island, on the seaward side is known as the Alpine Pacific Triangle. Sounds quite romantic-scenes of majestic mountains meeting the surf. To the locals, this is known as the "Inland Road". I use the term 'road' in the loosest possible way, because, in reality, it's a one-lane winding track, interspersed with dilapidated one-way bridges, sloppily sealed, highlighted with fluro-orange warning signs that say "Caution-Extreme Ice/Grit". Closer to the coast, you can take the standard state highway coastal route, which takes an hour and a half from exactly the same turn-off. The Alpine Pacific Scenic Triangle way takes three hours - if you make it that far. Both roads intersect at a picturesque alpine and seaside resort town known as Kaikoura. In Maori, "Kai" means food, and "koura" means basket. Despite the numerous natural hazards surrounding us, the trek reminded me a lot of New Zealand's now infamous "Hobbiton" style scenery, and it was, to even the unappreciative eye, spectacular and remotely comforting. In the most immediate background was a set of mountains called the "Seaward Kaikouras". In many ways, these are more majestic than the Alps themselves. Time in the South Island moves at its own particular pace. It really does embody the sentiment of, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." The agricultural lifestyle in the South Island isn't what it once was though. Far gone are the days when a 1000 acre ranch (like my grandparents and parents ran) could be considered as being a viable, sustainable farming unit. What was once sheep-farming, supplemented by a little bit of cereal cropping or fruit harvesting, has now been converted into large-scale dairy co-operatives, or miles and miles of vineyards - or a mix of both. First, the Australians decided that New Zealand could afford to import grains from them cheaper than growing for their own consumption, closely followed by the European Union imposing tighter restrictions on New Zealand beef and lamb imports. Traditional farmhouses have been rennovated to become 'eco-lodges' for the wretched tourist industry. Smaller high-country runs have been classified as either conservation land under central government protection, or sliced into attractive lifestyle blocks. So, the whole nature of ranching life has changed rather dramatically, and the old-school high country land-owners and ranchers are a rare, if not already an altogether lost breed. |
| August 11, 2008. Gosh-August already?. What happened?. Oh, yeah....13.5 hours worth of flying across international date-lines, together with eight hours of driving afterwards, in the blazing (forgive the wildfire pun) C.A heat. That was approximately a week ago now, and we're all still seriously lagging. Arrived home to find our house infested with FLEAS and the phone and internet disconnected. So, between shampooing every carpet/rug we own, and yabbering to idiotic Customer Service Reps on our non-existent, delinquent phone line...life in the Rainbowapple house rolls on-with punches included. Sad and strange discoveries across the hemispheres. A great deal of the belongings that came back with me, were shattered and broken in-transit, much to my dismay-a little like the corresponding memories. Thankfully, my wedding gown, complete with princess ballet slippers and veil, made it. A lot to write about yet, stories to share, as well as photographs, but my mind is fuzzy and my mental state only middling. A favorite uncle of mine in N.Z has just been diagnosed with a brain condition and is facing urgent surgery, and that has been weighing heavily on me. "Beanie" looks and acts more like Miss Three going on Six these days. What happened to her toddlerhood?. She's very much about being her own little person. More later when I have the words, and the inclination to write... |
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