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Random babblings of a confused miniature writer |
| A blog/journal just to babble/dabble in to try to keep my friends up to date on my pitiful existence. |
| It's the end of another Saturday with nothing accomplished. Things could be worse, I suppose. I could be in much more pain than what I am in considering what I am dealing with. I actually feel just stiff and numb most of the time. Except for the jerking of legs and arms and random itches. I'm also getting headaches which are steadily getting worse. I love my life, really, I do. The latest question for the moment is where I should go with my writing. I moved back to working on "Rage of Envy Rewrite Project"  because it was the closest to being done. Now that I have been working on it, it seems to need a complete rewrite. There are so many little SNAFUs in it that need to be fixed. Foreshadowing with no follow up. A minor character that is essential to the plot is barely mentioned at all. Inconsistencies with characters. It just needs me to focus on it and I have none right now.I used to get ideas for things all the time, so much that I started to push them away on the back burner. Too bad that burner was turned up full blast and they are all burnt to a crisp. I don't know. The smell coming from back there is nauseating I can tell you that. So now what? I could care less about any of it. I think about forcing myself to work on something and my head pounds worse. Thought just crossed my mind to kill this blog like I have so many others. It's dark and depressing. Maybe it will give me incentive to turn things around. |
| I still don't know what to say in this thing. My head swims most of the time; drowning really. I keep hoping someone shall give me a definite answer on whether or not I should go to the ER. Terry keeps saying that (by the way I've been complaining about pain, itching and throbbing) they probably inserted the catheter wrong. But when I ask her for a definite answer on going to the ER, she won't give me anything. Today I got the editing done on what I have written of "Rage of Envy Rewrite Project" . My beta reader turned out to be an unreliable source for such an advanced story, so I gave her "Lena's Violin" to read instead. Be very careful about matching the content of your stories to your readers. It is not as easy to rate your story to the right age group in the world outside of WdC.Right now, I could just use a pick me up. Just something that says I am a good writer, and all this is not for nothing. I haven't felt like a decent writer since I got the Quill last year for Lena's Violin. It had no competition in that category. *sigh* |
| I don't know where to begin..... I guess I can bring you up to date, i.e. the present. About two weeks ago, I got an MRI to find out why I had been having problems with my female area. It revealed a mass on my cervix; probably cancerous. I made an appointment with a specialist downstate, but my first appointment got snowed out. I have a second shot at it on March 6th. Last Friday my PCP sent me to the ER. My sugar level was over 400 and I had several infections going on. One of the diagnoses was that the mass on my cervix was putting pressure on my bladder, and I was not able to empty it completely. Now I have a catheter in that will probably remain in until March 3 when I see the Urologist. Unless it drives me insane enough to go back to the ER and have it removed. So that's the pitiful life up to now. |
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