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A blog about music from my unique perspective (also a spot for some poetry I’ve written) |
A blog, generally about music, usually for projects hosted by Jeff ![]() |
Alex shuffled from one foot to the other on Ella's doorstep, sweaty hands clutching a bouquet of roses. His heart pounded in his throat as he knocked, even though he'd already texted he was coming. The door opened. Ella leaned on the frame with a pale smile. "Come in. I'm sick today… don't know how much fun I'll be." "I don't need to have fun." Alex held out the bouquet. "I wanted to help you feel better." Ella took the roses, sinking down onto the living room couch. After a moment's hesitation, Alex gathered the courage to sit beside her. She didn't object. They sat in silence for some time. A clock ticked on the mantle. Ella lay back in the cushions, eyes half closed. "I'm sorry… I guess this isn't a good time to—" "What?" She looked over at him, eyelashes batting against crystalline agate eyes. "I—thought… maybe you'd—" Alex choked on his words. "Well, speak up." Ella straightened up with a giggle. "I don't have all night." "Would you like to be—uh… like, more than friends? We've known each other for so long. I don't want to ruin it. But if you want, I'd love to…" "Alex, I do love you. But not like that." She looked him firmly in the eye. "Not now. Maybe after I complete my education." "Yes, of course," he mumbled, eyes on the floor. "Whatever you say. I just want you to know I'll be there if you ever…" "That's very nice. I appreciate your feelings. Now, I have some chores to do." Alex heaved a despairing sigh as he trudged down the sidewalk. How am I supposed to live without her? *** Ella moved away to a college town, and Alex stayed behind, working his way up the ranks at a local insurance company. He heard she got married and wasn't planning on coming back to her hometown. He avoided contact after that, glancing at her Facebook page every so often to make sure she was still alive and doing well. Alex tried looking for someone else, but his relationships never seemed to last very long. Am I doing something wrong here? Is it me? He examined himself after every failed match, trying to improve. Getting married was a serious commitment, and he resolved not to do it until he was entirely ready, at least as much as possible. After pulling away from dating, self development work and a steady job consumed several years of his life. One day he logged on to Facebook and saw an announcement from Ella. She was diagnosed with cancer. He joined the flood of well wishes in the comments, but declined to reach out privately. His visits to her page became more frequent, and he watched as her posts grew less bubbly and further apart. When they stopped altogether for a week, he sent a message. After no response, he dug through his contacts and called her old number. "Alex, is it really you?" Her voice was so much thinner and weaker than he remembered. "I've been in the hospital. My husband is with someone else. He says he wants a divorce." "I'll be right there." He brought an enormous bunch of colorful daisies. Alex stayed by Ella's side through endless rounds of chemo, surgery, rehab and recovery. He didn't offer to make it a relationship again, only spent as much time together as possible, doing what he could. "Alex, you've been so loyal and patient. What are your intentions?" "Whatever you want. I just want to be here for you." "I think it's time we made this more than a friendship." She held his hand. The day Ella was declared cancer-free, Alex was there. "Are you sure you're ready, Alex? We've put this off for so long." "Ella, all my life I've been preparing to carry you home." Words: 642. Written for "Note: 48-HOUR CHALLENGE : Media Prompt Deadl..." |
This evening I'm settling in with a song given to me by my buddy Jeremy ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Sampha is a musician from London, of Sierra Leone heritage, and this song, a single off his 2017 debut album Process, deals with the loss of his mother to cancer. My first impression at the opening is that it's a lovely piano line. I'm not generally a fan of "piano ballads," as the ones I know fall into the monotonous category of early aughts The Fray and whatnot, but this comes across as more classical, simple and soulful. Indeed, the instrumental is a bit like a piece one might hear at the Hobby Lobby. (If you don't know Hobby Lobby music, you don't know ![]() Sampha's voice is clear and sincere, and the song is lightly produced, with almost no effects other than the faintest of drumbeats and a vocal stacking at 1:40. I can even hear birds singing in the moment of silence at the end. He sings of the important role the piano has played in his and his mother's lives, keeping them close, holding his most precious memories and the deepest pain. Emotions impossible to express can be poured out in music, and he tells how from an early age the piano was his best friend, helping him navigate life's joys and tragedies. This is a beautiful song, with a peaceful, relaxing feeling. It makes me interested to learn what other works Sampha has made and what his overall style is. I would categorize this song as classical; it doesn't come across as what I think of as "soul" or "R&B" or whatever. It's a man, singing his heart out, accompanying himself on his piano. Nothing I could possibly find to criticize here. I'll be keeping this on my playlist, and I thank Jeremy for selecting it for me. When it comes to music videos, I often prefer to watch them through silently first, in case there's something I would rather not have associated with the song. This one passed the test, showing us Sampha at his piano and an angelic lady casting a spiritual essence. I will probably write a Bradbury story inspired by (No One Knows Me) Like the Piano in the coming weeks; perhaps I can connect it to a faith-based prompt. a note ▼ Words: 510. |
My 28th and final choice for "The Soundtrack of Your Life" ![]() Sound: Oddly enough, Fire in These Hills has a trumpet in the background. The feel is slow-paced and vibe-y, similar to the album cover art. Dan Reynolds' voice comes in from a distance at certain moments, and overall the production is quiet, simple and understated, for the Dragons at least. Theme: Dan here is contemplating the sunset of his relationship with his ex-wife Aja Volkman, turning perhaps for comfort to his loyal fans, who are with him and the band through it all. Fire in These Hills is very much a final track, carrying a distinct feeling of sadness and weariness, as Dan realizes how much he's poured himself into his decades-long career, perhaps sacrificing relationships in the process. Like a child, he expresses open vulnerability and a longing to return full circle in the bridge, "I'm so tired… I've run so far, can I please come home?" In an NPR Weekend Edition interview, the hostess described Fire in These Hills as "very inspirational" and "a song of encouragement…" I don't see that in it myself, honestly. I see a song of loss, change, and a desire to make things right after it's too late. Perhaps the most optimistic moment is when he realizes "after everything, you're here with me still…" we are unsure who he's thinking of, though: his four kids? His fans? His ex-wife, who he insists is still his best friend? Such is life. The emotional impact is greater at the Amazon Music Songline performance, especially with the strings backing and the sun setting over the scenic California coastline. There is also some commentary which adds enlightenment. Significance: Perhaps what stands out to me most about Fire in These Hills is that I fell asleep listening to it on my first evening. I don't usually fall asleep with my earbuds in, but this is such a slow, peaceful song that once I turned the Bluetooth volume one crank down, my mind started drifting and the next thing I knew I was like "wait, what just happened? how many times did I let this play?" (About six or eight, according to my music player app.) Enjoy this finale. I don't have as much to say about it as I thought I would, which is a relief. Words: 400. |
My 27th choice is a deep cut from the 2024 OneRepublic album Artificial Paradise. It brings the album's themes around full circle, being one of the most serious, thoughtful and lyrically dense songs on it. Sound: The first thing I noticed about Last Holiday is how real it is. It begins with applause and a guitar hook, sweeps up some cello, with handclaps and harmonizing backing vocals… everything about it appears to have been recorded at an real performance, almost like sitting around a campfire, rather than in a studio. This makes the message come alive in a truly memorable way. Front man Ryan Tedder's voice comes through quietly, with an honest, heartfelt tiredness and urgency which is fitting for the bottom of an unusually long album. Theme: Last Holiday strikes a tone of urgent maturity, with Ryan coming to the realization that life doesn't go on forever and certain things like love, family and personal faith should be prioritized above others such as money and career. It has a deep weariness, even jadedness to it, as the chorus goes "I don't believe in the stars anymore/ they never gave me what I wished for…" It reminds me of children growing up and realizing life isn't a Disney movie. "Press pause and take some moments/ find God before it all ends…" Honestly, the simple yet deeply philosophical lyrics don't need much explanation. They're a reminder to get our life's act together and live with no regrets, because we never know when it will be over. Significance: I wish I could tell you Ryan's backstory about Last Holiday… but I don't like podcasts. Ryan Tedder appeared on the Kyle Meredith show after AP dropped last year, and one of the "teasers" was something like "the dark truth behind Last Holiday." When I saw that I was like "OMG, I must find out!" Because I knew there was something more to Last Holiday than it might seem. But the podcast is over an hour long, it rambles all over the place, Kyle Meredith seems like an obnoxious interviewer, and I can't carve out an hour to listen to a show or another hour afterwards to take notes on everything I learned. It would be far easier for me to read the transcript… but Apple podcasts does the worst transcription job I've ever seen. They couldn't spell the host's name right, forget labelling who was speaking. I would have to jump through digital hoops to try to get a legible transcript. So… it drives me crazy, but I don't have the scoop. If you have time to watch the interview on YouTube and find where Ryan talks about Last Holiday, let me know! ▼ I will say this was a significant song for me last August as I prepared a story for the Official WdC Contest, What a Character. I was dealing with subjects far more intense than I'd ever thought I would attempt to write about, and Last Holiday was my early draft choice for the heroine's theme song, something she listens to and takes refuge in during a crisis. With this in mind, I must've listened to Last Holiday a couple dozen times, trying to absorb the experience and match up the song's themes with what I was writing. At some point I realized there was a mismatch, and the song I ultimately went with and took my title from was God Only Knows, from For King and Country. Indeed, I made myself tired of Last Holiday, and quite frankly have not listened to it again until writing this up! Last Holiday is a timeless classic, with a somber yet optimistic tone as it reminds us to appreciate and hold on to what we love before inevitable change takes it away.
Words: 660. |
My 26th track is yet another deep cut (no music video) from the 2015 Imagine Dragons album Smoke + Mirrors. This is my last one off of it for this year's "The Soundtrack of Your Life" ![]() The cover art which surrealist oil painter Tim Cantor ![]() In Cantor's rough drafts and concept sketches, which were released alongside the S+M demo collection (Reflections), it is revealed the original ideas for the painting included a skeleton in the grave at the base of the image, and the infant was a fetus in the womb. This would have completed the cycle of life in a rather more intense way than it ended up being. Sound: Polaroid jumps right into the opening lines, beginning lightly and then bringing in the drums between the opening and the first chorus. I'm pretty sure it has a glockenspiel, or perhaps a xylophone; some kind of bell notes which add a unique texture. I like how we can hear everyone in the band join in on the second chorus; it adds a folksy, "sing-along" feel. The wall of sound at the end is a bit of a pile-on, but it's typical of the S+M album. I might add here that Smoke + Mirrors was entirely self-produced by the Dragons, which resulted in a rather over-the-top sound as compared to their next album, Evolve (2017,) which had outside producers overseeing it and recommending a cleaner, more pared-down style. Theme: Polaroid lays out emotions disguised in an endless series of folksy, almost playfully opaque metaphors; Dan Reynolds describes himself as everything from a "day-late two face" to a "rolling freight train." When he started writing and sharing his songs as a teenager, he didn't like to reveal his true feelings of confusion and depression to his parents, so he would hide behind metaphorical language. This habit lingered through several albums, until these days when guitarist Wayne Sermon has expressed admiration for the way Dan's songwriting voice has matured and he can express what he feels with directness and honesty. (Amazon Music Songline performance) Significance: I can remember the day I put this on to listen to for the first time. It was New Year's Eve, and we were headed to Naples, Florida for a vacation. I played it once, and proceeded to have it on loop for most of the drive south, enthralled by the simple, catchy melody and the quaint, unique metaphorical lyrics which seemed to describe me as well as the narrator. The next day was the new year, and I found myself making a digital art piece inspired by Polaroid, with the words "life's a blank canvas, and you are the color of boom!" incorporating the idea of fireworks and a new beginning despite the song's overall gloomy theme. Polaroid is one of my favorite ID songs to sing to myself, quite easy and memorable like an old-fashioned folk song. Words: 516. |
Today's choice is a single off the 2016 OneRepublic album Oh My My. Better never got a music video because band leader Ryan Tedder took an extended break from music production after the album release. Sound: There are two vastly different versions of Better: the string and the studio. Both masterfully encapsulate an atmosphere of tension, anxiety and mental fragility. The studio original uses generous doses of dubstep (a special kind of synth) and reverb, creating an eerie feeling of pulsing brain waves against Ryan's staccato lyrical rhythms and plunging, echoing deep notes. The string version begins with the effect of an inexorably ticking clock, and has no drums whatsoever. Violin and cello chase each other between the words in high notes of orchestral symphony, weaving a web of mystery and instability. Theme: By now Better's theme is probably obvious. Ryan Tedder is here dealing with being on the edge of a nervous breakdown, reminding himself that it can happen to anyone and "in the morning I'll be better." He speaks directly from his own experience, bringing us a song so honest, he lived up to it the moment he had the opportunity. I was getting into 1R as a band right when Ryan was making his comeback in 2017, and I eagerly cheered him on, praying he wouldn't be another Chester Bennington, who had passed the same year, though I knew little about either of them. I love how at the bridge, Ryan turns the question of mental well-being upon us and offers us the same advice he's been telling himself. It's a clever lyrical twist which brings the message home. Significance: I've only rarely heard this song in public, instead bonding to it directly from YouTube in my early days of exploring 1R. The two versions taught me what to expect from the band in terms of their skills with the cello (thank member Brent Kutzle for that,) and the lyrics gave me a relatable way to navigate my own feelings of unease and mental exhaustion. I seem to go through a nervous breakdown of some kind at least once a year, usually in the winter. Ryan's words offer some comfort as I remember the cyclical nature of life and the way things tend to get better after getting worse. I have often hummed and sung this to myself over the years, clinging to its simple, fragile optimism. Last year as part of my "Musicology Anthology" ![]() I can't let go of the Oh My My album this month without a word of thanks to Jack for patiently reading, reviewing and awarding stories out of that collection. His kind words of advice and affirmation kept me motivated to complete the most ambitious, high-stakes project I'd yet taken on here.
Words: 540. |
My next track—don't worry, there's only a few left!—is a bonus off the tail end of the 2015 Imagine Dragons album Smoke + Mirrors. Being one of a handful of extra songs, it did not have its own painting from artist Tim Cantor. Sound: Thief has a "larger than life" style, bombastic and exaggerated, with somewhat more of a Night Visions feel than a S+M feel to it. The drums are enormous, the guitars are suspenseful… some of the most "adventuresome," built-up tracks on S+M are the bonuses. At least two of them were used as movie soundtracks. The bridge gives a pause, synesthetically twinkling into a slow buildup and return to the chorus. Lead singer Dan Reynolds' voice seems especially high and thin, almost weak, on Thief, perhaps overwhelmed by the wall-of-sound production. Theme: Thief has some of my favorite lyrics of all of ID: poetic, thoughtful, and super simple to memorize and repeat. Dan mourns the loss of what he sees as his youthful boldness, pointing out his observation of the world's descent into a cynical refusal to face the truth. Significance: I've sung the two verses of Thief to myself far more often than I played the song over the years. In fact, I gave the words my own melody, turning Dan's slow, moody intonation into a quicker, more playful sort of jingle. Oddly enough, I don't seem to have a lot to say about this song even though I love singing it. That's probably a good thing ![]() Words: 262. |
My next track is Vertigo, from the 2004 U2 album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. It's a fun song for me because I don't listen to much of the old-fashioned "noisy rock" kind of stuff. Steven groans when I mention it, but hey. It's my playlist, not his ![]() Sound: Despite having raucous guitar riffs which might almost be called grungy, Bono's voice here is anything but. He doesn't scream and yell with exaggerated angst like grunge/emo artists usually do, which makes Vertigo a marvelously tolerable song for me to listen to. Theme: I can actually identify with what I think Bono's trying to say here. He's describing the dizzying experience of having to perform in an extremely noisy, dark, grubby, crowded, indecent environment, and clinging to whatever kind of faith he feels in his heart to keep his head straight amidst the insanity. As a person with sensory sensitivities, I'm easily distracted, overwhelmed and swept away by noisy environments, especially when there's music involved. Walmart on a busy day can make me go totally haywire… On a side note, "vertigo," the actual medical condition, is connected to the inner ear and relates to how we process sound. Speculation remains on why exactly U2 named the song Vertigo, whether perhaps after a Mexican nightclub or something else. Significance: I first heard this in October 2024, during Hurricane Milton, in the same truck stop playlist as U2's other song Beautiful Day. I was delighted and amused to find it, understanding pretty well what it's about. Which brings me to a fun little story I wrote as part of my "Musicology Anthology" ![]() Enjoy ![]()
Words: 331. |
By the time this blog post goes up, Reflections, the Imagine Dragons album full of demos from the 2015 Smoke + Mirrors era vault, will be available. My choice, then, is an appropriate one, a deep cut off the original album: Hopeless Opus. The title is a twist on the idea of a "magnum opus," or something you've given your entire life to, your biggest and proudest creation. The cover art provided by surrealist oil painter Tim Cantor ![]() Sound: Hopeless Opus is a track which defines the uniquely messy sonic style of Smoke + Mirrors: fuzzy reverb, vocal stacking, distant shouts—"Jason!"—fluting notes, guitars, drums, and distortions piled on top of the kitchen sink like dirty dishes, pretty much. At several points you may question the integrity of your headphones. Trust me, that's the way it's supposed to sound. Theme: This song deals with an overwhelming sense of failure in the face of apparent success. It looks towards mysterious figures who are supposed to have some kind of control (the postman delivering checks, the "Fate Man," the umpire) asking them for a favor, another chance to make things right and finally succeed. It even toys with the idea of "I could fake my own death," a hint at a desperate longing for a fresh start and a feeling of having made a disaster of one's life. "It's not a picture perfect life, not what I had in mind/ let me write my own line…" sums up the song in words which need no explanation. Dan Reynolds was going through severe depression and battling Ankylosing Spondylitis when he wrote this. The explosive success of ID's 2012 breakout album Night Visions proved to be nearly too much for him to handle. Thus, much of the moodiness, heaviness and searching on their sophomore album. Significance: Hopeless Opus is a song which has always spoken deeply to me. I identify strongly with Dan's feelings of failure and being trapped in a life full of poor decisions. One of the incredible things about this song is how it taught me to sing. I had not sang a single note since I was a young child, and I've always struggled with my perception of my own voice. As I learned about pop music in my adult years, I didn't want to try singing because I was afraid my voice would sound like Adele! The evening I discovered Hopeless Opus, I had it on repeat ad infinitum, analyzing it, memorizing it, and feeling completely at one with the words. At some point, I put aside the earbuds and blasted the song as loud as I could. Suddenly, as Hopeless Opus became my song, I started singing along with Dan on the chorus. And just like that, my voice was released. (I don't sound like Adele when I sing; I sound like a cross between a teenage boy and a duck.) I've since tried singing nearly every one of the songs I love, and I've discovered Dan Reynolds writes some of the easiest possible melodies. He focuses on rhyme, rhythm and poetic structures rather than delicate vocal melisma, resulting in simple, catchy, repeatable songs I've often compared to nursery rhymes. One might call them "sturdy" songs. One might also hearken back to Dan's appreciation for and influence by 90's hip-hop such as Tupac. Dan says it's his childhood classical music training and liking for old-fashioned pop radio singles. Hopeless Opus is a favorite of mine for many reasons, inspiring several art pieces and following me through different stages of my life as I deal with my deeply dualistic nature. Words: 630. |
As I begin writing this post while waiting in line at Walmart, would you believe 2013's Counting Stars started playing overhead? Yep. Good ol' OneRepublic ![]() Stargazing is a deep cut off their 2024 album Artificial Paradise. There's an acoustic version on the Super Deluxe album, and it's hard to choose a favorite. 1R does wonders with acoustics… when they're not too lazy to record a fresh set of vocals over them ![]() Sound: This song has a "vibe-y" sound, classic OneRepublic in all respects: guitar strums, harmonies, echoes, etc. Listening to the original, I'm wondering what exactly the difference is with the acoustic. I'll let you know… Ok, the acoustic begins with a piano rather than a guitar. Ryan speaks into near silence at first, and the instruments are much sparser. I believe they did indeed record a fresh vocal track for this version. It also seems a bit slower, but that's more the pacing of the music than the actual length, which is identical to the original. Oh, there's no drum. That means I can add the acoustic Stargazing to my "no drums" playlist. Which means I should probably go back through the acoustic set and see if any of the others don't have drums either. I was in a bit of a rush when the Super Deluxe Artificial Paradise came out. Hardly had a chance to truly appreciate some of the treasures on it. Theme: Stargazing is one of the cornerstones of AP, shedding more lyrical light on the album's themes and concepts. It speaks with a hint of sadness: "dark side of the moon/ the world looks so blue/ I'ma leave it all behind if I have to…" Remember what I said about "Singapore, by OneRepublic" ![]() Significance: Stargazing was an immediate favorite of mine, one of the AP tracks which fell into the more classic and acoustic category rather than being more electronic or funky. As I listened to this song while condensing my ideas about AP's overarching narrative, I realized I had already tapped into this same idea of running away with aliens, three months before the song appeared! Inspired by Nathan W. Pyle's loveable Strange Planet creatures, I wrote "Little Blue" ![]() ![]() Enjoy this beautiful, wistful song. Words: 448. |