Liz'Beth, This Aint the Big One

Liz’Beth, This Aint the Big One!
By Sugaree





I sat in front of a close friends’ computer fixing it, listening to her wedding plans. I was happy for her, and very sad for myself. During quiet times my mind would drift off into daydreams of meeting the man for me. My dear close friend, Tamara, pranced around happily getting her plans together since she would be marrying her king in less than two weeks.
I told her of my wishes to marry soon. I told her that I was heartbroken by my last love and was really afraid to start all over. But, I did tell her that I was so lonely for someone to love me and me them.
She said, “Skyla, you are a beautiful person, in and out and I am sure he will find you soon.” Just as she finished that statement, the doorbell rang. At it was a tall, dark and handsome middle-aged man. I tried not to be nosey and continued working on her computer. I couldn’t help but notice how well groomed he was despite his dirty work clothes.
Tamara came towards me, asking me to excuse her manners.
“Skyla, this is Randal,” she introduced us. We nodded and spoke to one another.
“You pretty good on those computers? He asked.
Before I could answer, Tamara was giving him my entire resume’. I just agreed.
“Well, I gotta make a few runs. Nice meeting you, Skyla,” Randal said as he extended his hand to mine. I reached for it and said, “Likewise.”
After Randal left, Tamara commenced to tell me his life story. She said that he was single, a hard workingman and was looking for someone as well.
“Girl, he has a good job. I have known him for about 10 years. He is divorced now. His wife treated him so badly. He is a very kind hearted man,” she said with obvious excitement in her voice.

“He asked me to give you his number too, “ she continued.

“Really? That’s strange. Why didn’t he give it to me personally?” I asked puzzled.

“Randal is kinda shy like that. Plus, girl, I heard he is real lova lova! She said with even more enthusiasm.

“Oh really now?” I said with a peaked interest.
Tamara laughed, “Now that peaked your interest huh?”

“Not that all of the other amenities in him weren’t good, but dang it has been a while and a woman’s gotta have it,” I said in my most ebonic tone.

“Yeah, you still looking for BD (Big Dick)…you aint gonna find those around too often so get over him,” she laughed as she continued cutting her slip she was doing a few alterations on.
A week after meeting Randal, I finally called him. I did not want to appear desperate, but decided that I would call anyway.

“Hello, this is Randal.”
“Hi. This is Skyla…I met you at Tamara’s.”
“Say no more. I was wondering if or when you’d call. Actually been anticipating this. How are you?” he said with sincerity in his baritone voice.
“I’m good.”
“Um, I’ll bet you are,” he laughed mannishly.
“So, what’s going with you?” I asked trying to move the conversation away from that last comment.
“Not much. Just looking for something to get into for the weekend. There is this band from New York playing over on the east side tomorrow evening I really want to see.”
“Well, what’s stopping you? I asked.
“I don’t want to go alone. Do you like Calypso?”
“Some of it,” trying to sound interested enough for him to have the confidence to invite me.
“Well, how bout you and I going together?” he strained to ask as if he was afraid of rejection.
“Sure. I would love to accompany you.” I said with more enthusiasm than even I expected.
“It’s a date then. It starts at seven and the attire is casual,” he said as if he was relieved.
“OK, well, will we meet there or…”
“How bout this, someone broke my car window out. Sooo, if you don’t mind me coming there and we can drive your car?”
“Not a problem. I will give you directions to my place then,” I said as my curiosity peaked to a suspicious level. I was wondering why if this man made so much money, why the window wasn’t fixed.

We chatted a few more minutes. The next day I gave him directions to my place, we went to the concert. It was all really uneventful. Afterwards, we went for drinks at one of my friends’ sports bars. She was not there yet, but we stayed and had a few drinks.
We laughed and talked very openly about life, relationships, old and new. We agreed that dating new was a pain in the ass since you have to answer the basics first then move on. We both laughed at the idea of writing all of the preliminaries in a document format and passing it out to potential suitors.

I drove him back to my house to his car. He left but not without giving me a sweet kiss and telling me how much he enjoyed my company. I told him that I enjoyed myself as well then he was gone. About two hours passed when the phone rang and it was Randal.
He was just confirming that “we” had a good time and wanting to know if it was possible for us to go out again. We ended up talking on the phone for about four hours.

Two months had passed since Randal and I had officially started dating. He was a very funny man. I loved his conversations and accepted his offer to be his one and only love, his woman, his boo. The way he asked me was so sweet, so impromptu.

We stood at my front door saying our goodbyes and exchanging kisses when he suddenly stopped and looked into my eyes.
“Skyla, we have been dating for a while now. I love everything about you. You are intelligent, sexy, funny…everything I am looking for in a woman. I don’t want to play any more games. I want us to be together as one,” he said to me so sweetly with sincerity dripping from his eyes into mines.

I wanted to melt right into his arms. I could not speak. I just leaned into his lips, kissing them passionately as my answer was yes.
……………………………………………

Although I am an independent contractor, my more profitable contracts ended when the public schools end for the summer break. I am not a good budgeter or didn’t anticipate some bills that sort of popped up in my life wreaking havoc. The only money I did have saved up would cover rent and the most important bills. I was aware of my mistake but was willing to deal with them. I had been single for a very long time and had grown accustomed to making do or finding my way out of financial binds. Another huge financial assault kicked me to my knees. I was only left with enough to cover rent.

Me, being the proud woman that I am, didn’t discuss this with Randal in detail. But, some of the financial problems I was having were obvious. I still never asked for his help. I believed that if he saw the problem, had the resources, he should offer.

Example: I wanted to attend this event that could have been profitable. I drive an SUV and the gas prices had sky rocketed during the Iraqi war. I told him about the event.

“Well, are you going?” he asked.
“I would like to but it is up north and I don’t have enough gas to make it there and back,” I said not even considering the other small fees you encounter going to events as such.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Maybe next time, huh?” Well, what are we gonna get into today? What did you cook?” he finished speaking.
I was hurt by his nonchalant attitude and the fact that he didn’t offer me ten dollars in gas, at least. “I didn’t cook anything.” I said, not telling him that I had nothing to cook.
“Okay then, I am going to stop off and get me a sandwich…. I will be over in about an hour,” he said before hanging the phone up.
I was really furious then. I called a friend up to ask if I was being petty and picky like my teenaged daughter says I am when it comes to men.

“Terrene, I told Randal that I didn’t have money for gas to get to that conference up north. He didn’t offer me a penny, yet said that he would be over! I shouted infuriated.
Oh, and check this, he asked me what I cooked. I told him nothing. I didn’t tell him that I didn’t have anything to cook, but all would have been good if I had. He would have been here eating, right? So, why did he tell me that he was going to stop and get him a sandwich before he comes over, for the night!”

“Man, he did that? And, Girl, if you don’t have any food, I will loan you some money or you can come and get it out of my deep freezer,” she said angrily.

“No, we have stuff to eat, just none of those big country meal I normally make. Hell, I want to loose wait anyway. But wasn’t that a lotta damned nerves,” I continued.

“Well, maybe he will have something for your and Salia when he gets there,” she said hopefully.

“I don’t have a good feeling about that. This was not the first time he’s done that. I overlooked it as he is just not thinking,” I explained.

“Well, Skyla, you like this guy so explain to him how that makes you feel,” she tried to convince me.

“I just cant. He is a grown ass 44-year-old man and should know something already. Maybe he is just cheap and that’s why he is single?” I stated in a questionly fashion.

“Hmmm, maybe you are being too nit picky. Give him a try. It’s only been two months. Maybe someone used and abused him for his money and he just wants to be careful?”

“Well, if he is going to be with me, he is not going to take out on me what someone else did. If that’s the case, look at all the wrongs both you and I have been done by men?” I said in an attempt to make her see it my way.

“Plus, he never comes with anything. He never brings drinks over since he wants to kick back with me on the weekend. All he wants to do is chill doing things that require no money,” I explained more.

“Well, tell him,” she said trying to convince me.

The doorbell rang. I opened it and it was Randy. He came in, without bags, and stated his wishes to get in bed and watch football since he was so full. I told my friend on the other end that he did not bring us anything. I told her that he had gone in the refrigerator to get some ice for the personal soda he brought with him.

“Skyla, you are just going to have to talk to him,” she reiterated.
“I’ll think about that. My chest is hurting still. I am not sure if it is heartburn of stress. I am going to go lay down, change my mood then have this conversation, if I am going to. Talk to you later,” I placed the phone on the dock, went upstairs where Randal was lying, relaxed, happy and full.

Randal and I had slept in the same bed several times without sex. I wanted to wait for this special union or consummating of our relationship. It was hard to do since my drive is pretty high, but I wanted no mistakes. But, as we do know, grownups in the same bed that have feelings for one another can forget promises.
My chest and stomach both were really bothering me. I had never felt so bad and had decided that I would see my doctor if it persisted. But, tonight, I was going to just relax since I believe the pain is coming from the high stress levels I have been faced with later.

I gathered my nightclothes since I was sure we were not going anywhere. I dressed in the bathroom, came out and lay in Randal’s open arm.

“Your stomach still bothering you? He asked in a babyish voice.

“Yes. But I think it’s because of the lawsuit I was served with. I really couldn’t afford to have to pay a lawyer all of that money but…hey,” I explained.

“You’ll be alright. Let poppa rub your tummy.”

“Please do. I am hoping that it is just a bad case of heart burn,” I said, but was thinking it was due to the change in eating habits; NONE.

He must have rubbed the wrong spot and the pain shot through my chest similar to what I had heard people explain a heart attack. I gasped for air and said, “Oh Liz’ Beth, this is the big one.”

He continued to rub my stomach and surely enough it felt better. I started laughing and joking with him as usual, pushing the problems of the day aside. I really did enjoy him and was going to try to overlook his ignorance or insensitivities for the moment. I believed a conversation like that should happen under better circumstances.

“You ready for that wrestling match? You think that just because I am a woman that I cant pin you down huh?” I said jokingly.

I caught him off guard and was up on top of him before even I realized. We wrestled and I lost with him on top. We both slowed down, as it appeared that it was the moment of testing our word not to rush into sex. Lust won and we were kissing and hugging and preparing, without much restraint at all, to make love.

This was going to be hard for me since I was so used to making love to Lance and thought no one could compare. I smashed that thought and continued kissing Randal back. The moment came. We were face to face with desires and grownup needs.

We positioned ourselves in many ways to no avail. I was not trying to think of Lance but this would not have been so awkward had it been him. Memories of our loving rushed my mind. I can safely say those memories is what was keeping me aroused during this fidgeting. We tried yet another position when I realized what the real problem was.

I accidentally blurted it out, “OH Liz’ Beth, this aint the big one.”

We got past that moment. I decided that Randal is a good man and despite his shortcomings, we would find other satisfying ways to beat that.

The next weekend was a party that was a must that I attend. My sisters and a few other friends were going to meet at my best friends sister’s house where they were giving her a surprise party. This was a bring yo own bottle (BYOB) party and there I was faced with the same dilemma. No money.

Randal called and asked what I was getting into. I told him a party. He wanted to know why I did not invite him.

“You are more than welcome to come. I just figured you wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of cackling women. It starts at 10.” I said dryly.

I really was not feeling him going to this party with me. I did not have money and surely wanted my own drinks.

“This is a bring your own bottle party, just to let you know,” I told him.

“Ok. That’s fine with me. You know I only drink about one at the most, two beers and I am done anyway,” he explained.

“I see,” again my reply was dry.

“I will see you in about an hour. What are you wearing?” he asked

“Nothing too special. Something cool for sure since it’s still 80 degrees and it’s 7 o’clock,” I said to him.

“Ok, see ya then,” he replied and hung up

I started fussing out loud to myself. This cheap ass man better come here with something to drink! Talkin’ bout he only drinks two beers! Ha! I guess fuck me huh? Oops, he caint even do that. Now, let me get this right, Skyla, you are supposed to be financially deprived, sexually and hungry too while dating this “good man/” I don’t fuckin’ think so, Playa…if you gotta put up with that, you may as well be alone.

The doorbell rang and it was Randal standing there with nothing in his hand. My voice kicked in, but quietly stated, “Fuck you! I’ll be damned!

I let him in and continued to get dressed. I told him that I didn’t have enough money to buy gas and something to drink for the party. He reluctantly handed me ten dollars. He asked if I was ready to go. I told him that I had to make a run and that I would call him and tell him the address.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I met my sister and my friend at the party. I had to tell them what this man had the nerves to think.

“Girl, you wouldn’t believe Randal had the nerves to think that he was coming to this party with me and barely wanted to give me ten bucks for gas! I don’t fucking think so. He just don’t understand, I said as I rocked to the beat of music blarring from the house.

“well, he did say that you were spoiled. There are not many men out here like Carl that buy you the outfit, the tickets to the play or concert, dinner and drinks afterwards”, Tereen laughed. “But, you didn’t like his boring self huh? She laughed again.

“Well, this one sure does have a rude awakening coming. He caint screw, he is cheap and he is selfish? Ha, I wish I would go out like that. But, the messed up part about it all is, I really did like him.”
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Randal called several times to no avail. Finally he caught Skyla on the phone. Can you just tell me what the problem was? Why don’t you want our relationship anymore?

“You wouldn’t understand, Randal since you are 44, I would think you’d know. You give details like that to people you plan on keeping in your life so that they can better themselves, work it out. But you offended me too much, for the last time. Goodbye.