On The Shore

(Wordcount 1746)

I closed my eyes and listened to the gentle rhythm of waves lapping on the shore: wave in, wave out, wave in, wave out. Standing there, with my bare feet in the wet sand, for a passing moment, serenity filled my soul. Then, as I did every morning since I arrived on the island a few days ago, I went to the big rock, sat down and waited, hoping that somebody might come or something might happen.

On the first day, as I was sitting there, a dog came to me. It was a Labrador. He stopped a few steps away, barked and wagged its tail as if he wanted to tell me something. We were looking at each other for a while, then he ran off to chase the seagulls, throwing sand and water into the air. A woman, presumably his owner, was watching from a distance for a while, but did not come any closer.

It was the middle of September and the mornings were already cooler. Apart from the dog and the woman, there was no one on the shore. There were moments of doubt when I was not sure whether there was any point in waiting there, but something inside told me to stay. I did not know what was ahead of me, yet I was sure if I just leaned back and waited, the future would reveal its secrets.

I was the co-owner of a successful IT company, the management of which I had long handed over to my brother. I never got married, I lived alone with my dog. A friend once said to me “Lean back and enjoy life!”, another one told me “Get a girlfriend!” but he could not have been serious. Others suggested “Relax!”, “Travel!”, “Get a hobby!” but I just waved away their advice. Yet, I was sure life still had something in store for me.

As I was sitting on the shore, the sea breeze brought back old memories. I was in my final year at the University of Pennsylvania when I spent a few weeks on this island. One late afternoon, just before the end of my vacation, I walked into a local bar in the capital and I saw a girl sitting at the counter, sipping wine.

When she looked at me, our eyes locked and I knew at that very moment that she was special. Her ginger hair was like the setting sun and her eyes were like the blue of the sea. She was mesmerizing, but what I could not take my eyes off really was the heart-shaped birthmark on her right forearm. It reminded me of my dream the night before. I was playing cards although I could not remember the last time I played cards in my real life. At one point, there was only one card left in my hand, the ace of hearts, but for some reason I did not want to reveal it. Seeing that girl at the counter, I wondered how life could conjure a living ace of hearts for me.

“Are you expecting someone? Can I take this seat?” I asked her pointing to the bar stool next to her. “I was probably waiting for you.” She said and smiled. I was not quite sure whether she was only teasing me, but I introduced myself and sat next to her. We started talking and drank some more wine. As evening fell, the bar got very crowded. “Let’s sit outside!” she suggested. “If we have luck, we might even see some falling stars.”

So, we left the bar to gaze at the stars and continued talking late into the night. It felt as if we had always known each other. The city was already deep asleep when we walked hand in hand to the shore and made love on the sand, still warm from the sun, then we were just lying there holding each other, watching the moon as it climbed higher and higher in the sky.

The next day, which was the last day of my vacation, as we were walking down the main street, we heard music and singing from a distance. We followed the crowd and soon we arrived at a traditional wedding ceremony. As we were watching the groom kissing the bride, she started crying. She did not say anything and I did not want to ask her; I thought she might have seen something or someone that made her sad. So we left the wedding and went to the nearby park where we sat under a tree. I felt that she was still trembling, so I held her close. With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and kissed me passionately.

Later that day she had a phone call and told me she had to leave. “I cannot explain to you right now, but I need to go. Please don’t be angry, there are things I cannot tell you, but try to understand me. You mean a lot to me!” She wrapped her arms around my neck and started sobbing. I could feel her tears rolling down my back. At the time, I was in my mid-twenties. She may have been only twenty or so, but looked even younger and was very sensitive. I wanted to protect her from whatever made her sad, but I was afraid that I could not.

I told her that I was leaving the next day, and we might never see each other again, but even if she walked out of my life, the fresh scent of spring flowers after a cold, dark winter would always remind me of her. I gave her the poem that I wrote for her earlier that day. As she read it, she started crying again, even more inconsolably than before. I tried to soothe her, I thought I could not let her go, but she left and I did not see her again.

I flew back to Philadelphia and started my final year at the university, but she was always on my mind. I saw her in my fellow students and she appeared in my dreams, even though I had convinced myself that she was a summer love and it was better for both of us that way. Although I knew that with thousands of miles between us, it would probably never have worked out, I always thought that she was the one chosen for me by fate and I let her disappear from my life for ever. I kept on thinking what I could have done differently. I was sure I should not have let her go.

A couple of months ago a new guy started working at my company. He was an IT security professional a few years younger than me, who spent most of his youth in the capital of that island. As I told him about my vacation and the girl I had met there, he said he might know her. He could even recall that she once showed him a poem that someone had written for her, who, she was sure, would come back to her one day. My new colleague gave me the address of an export-import company that he thought was owned by her family back then.

A few weeks ago I wrote to her, telling her that I was going to the island, and that I would be very happy if she found time to come to our shore during my stay there if she still remembered me the way I remembered her. I did not know what to expect, whether she still remembered me, whether she had a family, and if so, whether she wanted to meet me on the shore where we made love some thirty years ago.

This morning, the dog came to me again. It was like greeting an old friend, but this time he had company as well. The woman, probably in her thirties in black trousers, looked so much like the girl I was with on that shore that my first thought was that she got my letter and she came to meet me. Of course, she also had to get older, but I did not think about it then.

“Nice dog” I told her “It looks like he knows me already.”

“We come here every day and I have seen you yesterday and the day before yesterday as well.” she answered “But I did not want to disturb you. Are you on a vacation?”

“I’m waiting for someone or probably a miracle.” I told her and explained why I came to the island.

“Oh! My mom died a few weeks ago, but she had been waiting for you so desperately that I cannot even tell you. She knew that you would come back one day, but she was very sick. If she had known that you would arrive so soon, she would have fought even harder I’m sure. Your letter came too late.” As she said that I understood why she looked so familiar to me.

“I’m so sorry. My condolences to you and your family.” I said.

“Thank you, but its only me and my husband. My grandparents died long ago and my mom never got married. My grandfather could never forgive her for becoming pregnant with me. There was already a groom selected for her who, of course, backed out immediately. So, most of my life, it was only the two of us, and now she is gone.” She said and as I looked into her eyes, it almost broke my heart.

“So you never had a father.” I told her and probably to myself as well to make sure I understood it right.

The tears welled up in her eyes as we looked at each other in silence. “Would you be my father now?” she asked suddenly. “Would you stay with us? Your granddaughter would be very happy too.” It was only then that I realised she was pregnant.

I wanted to tell her that I was so happy to have a daughter, but I just embraced her and could not say a word. Instead, I thought about the reason for my being on the island. It seemed to me that I had found a new purpose. We were just standing there holding each other for the first time, on that shore with the sound of the waves, lapping on the shore: wave in, wave out, wave in, wave out.