THE WEREBISON

The delegation of fifty-five American Indian Shamans alighted at Terminal Two at Melbourne Airport at Tullamarine and walked through the airport until stopping at Dufry Electronics and Fashion Accessories.
"Who needs electronics or fashion accessories?" asked Shaman Lightfoot from the Shawnee Tribe.
"No one," said Shaman Running Beaver, of the Chippewa Cree Tribe.
"Do you speak for everyone?" asked Lightfoot.
"Why would we need electronics or fashion accessories?" asked Running Beaver: "We have just landed in our native regalia and are here for a joint working holiday exploring this nation."
"Especially the countryside," insisted Shaman Charging Moose, one of the Canadian delegates; agoraphobic, he was not keen on big cities or crowds and was already uncomfortable in the airport terminal.
"Here's something we need," said a young Shaman Leaping Lizard of the Cherokee Nation. He stopped at the Duty-Free Confectionery shop.
"You and your candy," bemoaned Lightfoot; nonetheless following Leaping Lizard into the lolly shop. As did most of the other Shamans.
"Hello gentlemen," said Busty Suzie Longfellow, a part-time worker at the store: "Here for your daily sugar rush?"
"We certainly are," said Leaping Lizard enthusiastically, looking through the various types of sweets: "Hey they've got all the best American-style candy: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, M&Ms, Hot Tamales, Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Starbursts, Hershey Kisses, Candy Corn, Hershey Mini Bars, Snickers, Kit Kat ... you name it."
"We are an international airport," said Busty Suzie, delighted as the Shamans started to buy armfuls of lollies each. My commission is really going to add up today! she thought.
"Now, if we can just work out how to get to Glen Hartwell?" said Lightfoot as they exited the confectionary store -- having given in to the temptation to buy armfuls of American sweets after all.
"You can take a bus to Melbourne," said Busty Suzie: "Then walk down to Flinders Street Station in Swanston Street."
"Flinders Street Station is in Swanston Street?" asked Running Beaver.
"Yeah, don't ask me to explain that," said Suzie as the shamans departed.

Over at the Yellow House in Rochester Road, Merridale, in the Victorian countryside, they were seated at the dining table awaiting their lunch. While waiting, Sheila Bennett was listening to her favourite group, the Devil's Advocates, on her MP3 player, while Tommy Turner was doing the Melbourne Recorder Mammoth Crossword.
"Hey, mad Goth chick," called Tommy. A recent retiree, Tommy was short and fat, with longish yellow hair, and was a slowly recovering alcoholic: "What's another word for 'dedication'?"
"Why ask me?" asked Sheila taking off her headphones. A tall, athletic woman of thirty-five, she was a Goth chick with orange-and-black-striped hair: "Terri was always the brainy one at school ... ask her."
"What're you mean?" asked Terri Scott, a beautiful ash blonde; the same age as Sheila, Terri was the top cop of the BeauLarkin to Willamby area: "You did just as well as me at school."
"Only because I always sat next to you and copied your answers for tests or exams."
"What?" asked Terri, while the others stared at Sheila in amazement.
"Yeah, why do you think I mated up to you at kindergarten? Even at that age, I could tell that, unlike me, you were a brain-box. So I went out of my way to be friendly so I could copy your answers all the way through primary school, high school, and then police academy."
"What!" shouted Terri, standing to stare down at Sheila.
"I'm starting o get a bad vibe, as though I should have kept my mouth shut," said Sheila, genuinely surprised by Terri's reaction.
"You lied to me for decades about being my mate!"
"No, no, only for a few months until I genuinely started liking you. You were the first brain-box I ever really liked."
"Sheils, I am shocked at you!" cried Terri.
"I did all the physical stuff myself, like running and climbing ropes and stuff ... And even helped you with that."
"That's true," admitted Terri, then to Colin: "She virtually carried me back from one hellish cross-country run at high school."
"Nonetheless, I'm dismayed at you, Sheila," said Natasha Lipzing. At seventy, Natasha was the oldest resident at the boarding house, having spent the last thirty-five years there.
"And to think you used to be my favourite?' said Deidre Morton. A short, sixty-something brunette, she was the owner of the Yellow House; so nicknamed due to her obsession with the colour yellow.
"I still am your favourite, Mrs. M.," insisted Sheila: "You just don't know it at the moment."
"She's right, Mrs. M.," said Colin Klein, playing peacemaker. At forty-eight Colin had recently retired after thirty years as a top London crime reporter, to take employment with the Glen Hartwell Police Force. He was also engaged to Terri.
"Maybe," said Deidre, clearly unconvinced.
"You know he's right," said Freddy Kingston. Also a recent retiree, Freddy was tall and stout and almost bald.
"As soon as you re-sit the police exam!" insisted Deidre.
"That's a great idea, Mrs. M.," said Terri, hugging the plump lady.
"What?" asked Sheila: "But that would mean telling Melbourne; they'd sack me for sure."
"I won't tell them," assured Terri: "I'll just ask for copies of a few of their old exams, to test would-be cadets before sending them to Melbourne. Then we'll all help you to study the police manual."
"We have a police manual?" asked Sheila, genuinely surprised: "How come I've never seen it?"
"Sheils, it's that huge book on top of one of the grey filing cabinets in Mitchell Street Station," said Colin.
"I thought that was just a paperweight made to look like a book."
"Well, it's not. It's the manual," said Terri.
"But it's huge, I'll never memorise all that."
"Sheils, you have an excellent memory ... Who did Collingwood beat in last year's AFL Grand Final?"
"Brisbane. Magies twelve goals eighteen points, 90, beat the Lions thirteen goals eight, eighty-six."
"What caused the Poms to go ballistic, in the second Ashes test match in 2023?"
"Jonny Bairstow went wandering down the pitch and Alex Carey stumped him."
"Ask her an older one?" suggested Natasha.
"How many times did Jack Brabham win the Formula One Championship? And in what years?
"Three times. In 1959, 1960, and 1966. In 1966 in a car he designed himself, the Brabham-Repco."
"See, you have a great memory," said Colin.
"But more importantly," said Tommy Turner: "What's a ten-letter word for 'dedication'? First letter 'C', fourth letter 'M'."
"Commitment!" shouted Terri, Colin, Natasha, and Freddy.
"Hey, it fits," said Tommy, as Deidre Morton began setting out lunch.
"So how long have I got?" asked Sheila.
"The usual recruitment and testing for Victoria Police takes six months. So let's say the last day of November," said Terri.
"Wacko, so no need to rush into things," said Sheila: "I was planning to watch the 'World's Stupidest Stuntman Down Under' starting tonight. It lasts three months."
"There'll be no, 'World's Stupidest Stuntman Down Under' until you pass your make-up test!"
"Oh! But I love, 'World's Stupidest Stuntman'."
"Couldn't she watch one hour a night?" asked Deidre Morton.
"That sounds fair," said Colin.
"All right, one hour ... no more."
"Well, it goes two hours a night, so I might be better off watching the second hour, so I'll know how each episode ends."

After reaching Melbourne, the fifty-five Indian Shamans went to Flinders Street Station in Swanston Street, only to find the train didn't depart until midnight, another eight hours, so they, having eaten most of their candy, set off to explore some of the sights of Melbourne, including the National Art Gallery in St. Kilda Road, an easy walk from the station.
Dressed in traditional Indian robes, so they really felt it when the evening started to get chilly, they waited on the platform inside Flinders Street Station.
"They have cold Springtime in Australia," complained Leaping Lizard.
"We have opposite seasons in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres," explained Shaman Lightfoot: "It is almost summer in North America, so it's almost winter here in Australia."
"If I'd known that, I would have dressed like a white man in half a dozen layers," said Charging Beaver, drawing laughter from the other shamans.
"We could always do a traditional dance to warm ourselves up," suggested Shaman Gray Wolf, from the Algonquin Tribe near the Great Lakes area of Canada.
"We'd look like idiots to the Aussies waiting for the train," complained Leonard Brown Bear. He pointed to where thirty-plus Aussies were waiting for the Glen Hartwell train.
"No, they'd just think we are one of those touring tribal dance troupes, promoting our show," insisted Gray Wolf.
"He's right," said Shaman Lightfoot, no longer pretending not to feel the Australian cold: "We have to do something to warm ourselves up." [Flinders Street Station has covered platforms, but the train tracks are open to the night air.]
After a moment's hesitation, Lightfoot led the Shamans in a simple dance. Soon they had all joined in, and the Aussie spectators were applauding, some even throwing five- or ten-dollar notes, weighted with coins to stop them from blowing away.
By the time the train arrived, only ten minutes late, the shamans were warmed up and had raised enough from money thrown to pay for most of the American candy that they had bought earlier.
"It's a nine-hour trip to Glen Hartwell," advised the station master as they boarded the electric train, which would have its engine replaced by a steam engine at Sale: "So lay your seats back and have a good night's sleep. The lights will be dimmed once we're out of the inner suburbs."

Nine-thirty the next morning Sheila Bennett was sitting at the huge black wood desk in the front room of the Mitchell Street Police Station in Glen Hartwell. Behind her, Terri was standing by one of the three grey metal filing cabinets that held ancient case files from the pre-computer days - which for Glen Hartwell meant the 1990s and earlier.
"I wonder how I can get Mrs. M. to forgive me...?" began Sheila, stopping as Terri dropped a massive hardbound book on the desk in front of her. Looking puzzled she asked: "What's this?"
"The Victorian Police Manual," explained Colin.
"We're gonna help you study for the big exam at the end of November, remember?" said Terri, as she and Colin sat down on either side of Sheila.
"Oh, I hoped you were joking about that!"
"No such luck," said Terri, as Colin skimmed through the early pages to get to the actual text.
"Here we are," said Colin.
"Oh, God!" said Sheila, half blaspheming, half praying.

Having arrived at Glen Hartwell Station in Theobald Street a short time before, the fifty-five American Shamans had had to split up: some staying at the Dorset Hotel in Duchess Street, LePage, others going to the rather seedy Imperial Motel in Oxford Street Willamby, the rest going to the Chandler Hotel at the corner of Chappell Street and Rushcutters's Road in Harpertown.
"It's not often we get Shamans staying at our hotel," said seventeen-year-old brunette Leila Feinberg, the maid and sometimes stand-in receptionist of the Imperial Motel greeting sixteen of the shamans as they were checking in.
"You're rather young to be the owner of a motel," said Leaping Lizard.
"Nah, I'm the maid-cum-waitress-cum-general dog's body. I'm filling in here while the new owners, Mr. and Mrs. Pollock get their heads around things ... don't think they've got much experience."
"Less nattering, more signing in, Leila," said a tall curvacious forty-something ravenette, Heidi Pollock, coming out of the dining area.
"Is it too late to get breakfast?" asked Running Beaver.
"Not at all," said Cameron Pollock, a tall fiercely blond man coming out of the dining room: "Knowing you were coming, we've kept the dining room open."

After breakfast Running Beaver and three other shamans went out to explore the forest. It was almost two PM by the time they reached Gardner's Canyon: a huge hundred-metre-high mount, which looked as though someone had used a gigantic shovel to scoop out one side, creating a deep cul-de-sac.
"This should do nicely," said Running Beaver as they looked around the brownish-orange walled canyon: "Let's begin our preparations."

"Okay," asked Colin Klein: "What do you do if a savage dog is attacking a screaming woman."
"Shoot the dog, then slap the woman till she calms down," suggested Sheila.
"Half right," said Terri: "You shoot the dog failing to have any tasers, which we don't have yet, then comfort the hysterical woman."
"Oh, I hate comforting hysterical women," moaned Sheila.
"Relax," said Colin: "You've got another six months to learn all this."
"That's hardly a reassuring thought," complained Sheila.

That afternoon at a little to six, four young men were riding through the countryside outside Willamby.
"So, tell us again why we're out in the cold night air?" complained Colin 'Col' Cooper, at eighteen, the tall thin teen was the youngest of the four.
"Firstly, it's not night, it's late afternoon. Secondly, it's a little bracing, not cold," said his older brother Ashwin 'Ash'. At twenty-one Ash was the oldest of the four men; also the bravest and most foolhardy.
"So, why are we out in the late afternoon, in the bracing weather?
"To catch Brumbies," explained Ross Stott, his cousin. A twenty-year-old with beautiful long blond hair that most women would have been jealous of: "Lonnie, Lom, and Lila Hogworth told us there were brumbies in the area."
"Didn't Lonnie, Lom, and Lila get killed recently?
"Yes," agreed Elroy 'Roy' Stott, a nineteen-year-old ox of a man with mousy brown hair: "But I doubt that the brumbies killed them ... they drowned, the careless bastards." [See my story, 'The Brumbies'.]
"So where are these brumbies supposed to be?"
"Somewhere between Willamby and Glen Hartwell."
"That covers a lot of territory."
"You can always turn your horse around and skulk off home if you don't mind us making chicken noises after you," teased Ash.
"I can live with that," said Col. He turned his horse to start galloping back the way they had come.
"Come back, I was only joking!" called Ash, going on to make 'bark bark bark' noises, along with Roy and Ross, who soon joined in.
"I can't believe the wimpy sissy skived off," said Roy.
"Yeah..." began Ash, stopping as he heard the sound of chanting not far off: "Where is that coming from?"
"Somewhere near Gardner's Canyon, I think," said Ross.
"Let's go check it out," suggested Roy.
"Why? It's only some Abos. having a corroboree," said Ash: "No big deal."
"They don't usually use Gardner's Canyon," insisted Roy, heading his horse in the direction of the canyon.
"'Spose we'd better follow him," said Ross with a sigh.

"So how are the lessons coming?" asked Freddy Kingston as they sat down for tea at the Yellow House at six thirty PM.
"Oh, don't ask," said Sheila: "My head feels like exploding from all the facts and figures that they tried to ram into it"
"In six months you'll thank us," said Colin.
"If my head hasn't exploded by then! The only good thing is, since we worked so hard, Tare has said that I can watch both hours of 'The World's Stupidest Stuntman Down Under' tonight."
"Wacko," said Tommy Turner.
"That means we all have to watch it," said Natasha Lipzing unhappily.
"You could always go to your room to read your mysteries," said Tommy.
"I'm not going to bed straight after tea, like a child being punished."

At Gardner's Canyon Running Beaver and a dozen or so other Shamans, dressed in traditional Indian raiments, were performing the bison dance, which their ancestors had performed for millennia -- to call bison for hunting, or later to try to use them against the white invaders. But this time they were performing it for another purpose: To placate the Wendigo a winter demon of the Algonquin people.
As the three young white men watched from the shadows, thinking themselves unseen, the Shamans danced around a ceremonial fire that they had built, with Running Beaver occasionally throwing a handful of powder into the fire, making it flare up with blue-green flames.
"What the Hell are they doin'?" asked Roy as the three men sat on horseback watching the natives sing and dance.
"They look more like Itchy-Bums than Abos," said Ash Cooper with a laugh.
"Woo woo woo woo!" said Ross, slapping his right hand against his mouth at each syllable."
At the sound, the dancers stopped and turned to glare at the three men.
"Maybe it's time for us to leave," opined Ash Cooper.
"I think you're..." started Roy, stopping as Running Beaver threw the entire bag of explosive powder onto the fire.
Then raising his arms into the air, he called to the Wendigo to help them to transform. And in second the thirteen men began to flicker and fade out ... to be replaced by thirteen greatly oversized American bison.
"Jesus, they're huge," said Ross: "At least five metres tall!"
"But where did they come from?" asked Ash, his words turning to a scream as his terrified horse bucked wildly, throwing him from its back, before taking off back toward their horse station.
"What...?" cried Roy as his horse also threw him.
"Hang on," said Ross, trying to get his horse to head toward his brother; further into the canyon. But the horse, Black Death, had other ideas and threw its rider, before galloping after the other two steeds
"You should be called 'Yellow Coward'!" Ross shouted after the fleeing nag, before realising they had bigger problems.
The thirteen giant bison started toward them, at first slowly, then at a run.
"Run or..." began Ash, too late, since the Were-Bison quickly ran across the three men, trampling them to death.
Then, more leisurely, the oversized creatures returned to start devouring the dead farmers, with half a dozen rows of needle-length teeth, like those of the largest sharks in the ocean.
For twenty minutes or more the creatures tugged and tore at the three men, ripping great chunks off them to devour with delighted looks upon their bovine faces; tearing off arms or legs to devour to the bone, before snapping open the bones to get at the juicy marrow.
Finally, they finished their repast, and the great beasts began to shimmer and fade out until being replaced by Running Beaver and his confederates.

"I just don't see the point," said Natasha Lipzing as they sat watching 'The World's Stupidest Stuntman Down Under': "It just seems to be a group of incredibly stupid people, doing incredibly dumb things, which could easily get them killed ... for no reason at all!"
"Now you get it," said Sheila Bennett, like Tommy Turner, loving the show.
"Well, I'm off to bed to read," said the old woman starting for the stairs.
"You can't please everyone," said Tommy, getting a nod from Sheila.

Over at the Imperial Motel in Willamby, Running Beaver and some of his co-conspirators were sneaking in the front door to head toward the stair, when Leila Feinberg called: We've kept some steaks ready for you if you want tea?"
"No thank you," said Running Beaver without looking back: "We've already eaten."
What nice people! thought Leila as the Shamans raced up the stairs.
"Less daydreaming, more helping with the dinner dishes," said Heidi Pollock coming into the reception area from the dining room.
"Yes ma'am," said Leila, thinking: I'm starting to understand what Killing Heidi is on about!

Around eight the next morning Terri, Colin, and Sheila were at the Mitchell Street Police Station studying the Victorian Police Manual.
"So what do you do, if people are being menacing by a knife-wielding maniac?" asked Colin Klein.
"The same as Amy Scott did in Bondi Junction in April; shoot the bugger dead," said Sheila.
"If there is no other option," said Terri: "He was attacking Amy when she shot him."
"I'd shoot the bastard anyway," insisted Sheila.
Before Terri could argue with her, the pale green phone on the wall rang.
"Hello?" asked Terri, speaking for a few minutes.
"Who was that?" asked Collin.
"Maddy Cooper, from the Cooper Station outside Willamby. Seems her sons and the Stott boys went out brumby hunting after tea last night, but only young Col returned. She's rung Janice Stott and they're not there."
"Sounds like the Kelpies are back!" said Sheila excitedly. [See my story, 'The Brumbies'.]
"We banished them to Scotland remember?" said Colin.
"The Scottish Tourist Board thanked us, don't you remember?" teased Terri: "They get by on gullible tourists hunting for ghosties."
"Okay, let's get going to Willamby," said Sheila standing.
"You're going nowhere," said Terri, pushing Sheila back down into her chair: "You and Colin can stay here reading the manual, while Don Esk, Greta Goddard, Suzette Cummings, and I go to Willamby."
"Oh, Hell," said Sheila as Terri went outside to get into her police-blue Lexus.

More than an hour later, Terri, Don, Greta, and Suzette turned up at the Cooper Horse Station. Greta and Suzette were both pro rata policewomen: Greta Goddard was a tall, shapely silver-blonde. At age sixty-nine in 2024 Greta was still fit and worked pro rata when needed; Suzette Cummings was a pretty seventeen-year-old ravenette working pro rata for a year or so to decide if she wanted to go to Melbourne to try to become a cop full-time. Don Esk was a local sergeant, a tall muscular man with light brown, with a long scar down his left cheek. He was the local police dog handler and had brought his three Alsatian crosses Slap, Tickle, and Rub with him in case they were needed.

On the rear porch of the white weatherboard farmhouse, Maddy, Watt, and Colin 'Col' Cooper sat glumly waiting for the arrival of the police. Col quickly related what had happened the night before, up until he had left for home.
"Okay, let's go look for them," said Terri, leading them back to the Rover.

After a short time, they had reached the point where Col had turned his horse for home.
Getting out of the blue Rover, the police examined the hoofprints for a moment.
"Well, there are hoof prints everywhere," said Suzette Cummings as they walked around the pine-needle-and-gum-leaf-covered forest floor.
"There are mine heading back home," pointed out Col; feeling a little guilty at having abandoned his brother and cousins to their fate, just because the evening had turned a little chilly.
"And there are three other sets heading forward again," said Greta.
"Then let's keep following them," said Terri, climbing back into the Rover.

After another forty minutes or so they reached the opening to Gardner's Canyon.
"What the hell happened here?" asked Terri as they examined the mass of overlapping prints: human, horse, and oversized bovine prints.
"Looks like there's been a corroboree performed here," said Suzette, pointing into the canyon where remains of the ceremonial fire stood, along with numerous tiny white bone fragments -- all that was left of the three me.
"But all the local tribes have their own sacred ceremonial sites near or in their camps," said Donald Esk. Then picking up some of the bone fragments: "And what the hell are these?"
"Could be bone fragments," said Greta Goddard as all of the police officers picked up some of the white particles to examine them.
"We'd better collect some for examination," said Terri: "And ring for Jesus, Elvis, and Tilly to come to check out this site before we corrupt it anymore."

An hour later Terri, Greta, and Suzette were at the local morgue in Dien Street Glen Hartwell, watching as the local coroner, Jerry 'Elvis' Green examined some of the fragments under a microscope.
"So what's the verdict King?" asked Terri, referring to Elvis's adoration of the late King of Rock and Roll.
"Definitely human bone shards."
"Ancient?' asked Greta.
"No, from someone, or ones, killed in the last fifteen to twenty hours."
"Our three missing men?" suggested Suzette.
"Almost certainly," said Elvis, grateful that Col Cooper wasn't in the morgue: "Though what could have chewed the bones down to such tiny pieces in so little time is a mystery."

Soon after tea that night, Running Beaver and some of his accomplices set out for a 'walk', in reality going to meet up with other confederates at Gardner's Canyon.
Only to find a police team watching the canyon, having picked up all of the bone shards for DNA testing.
Without saying a word the shamans continued deeper into the sweet-smelling pine and eucalyptus forest, until finding a cave at the base of Mount Wanderei nearly ten kilometres from Glen Hartwell.
Once more they performed their ritual magic, doing the bison dance, until all thirteen shamans turned into greatly oversized American bison. Then together they set out into the sweet-smelling forest to find food to sacrifice to the great Wendigo.

The Mulla-Mulla tribe were based about twenty kilometres outside Glen Hartwell. A once large tribe of well over a hundred members, their numbers had shrunk in the twenty-first century to less than sixty Aborigines. That night they were seated around a cook fire, finishing the last of their tea: fish and chips bought from Neptune's Fish-and-Chipatorium in Blackland Street Glen Hartwell.
"They do great fish and chips at Neptune's," said a young buck, Winston Wulumu savouring his last bite of flake.
"None better," agreed Agnes Wandin-Din, an elderly lubra, who despite the approach of winter still went topless, pretending not to notice when the young bucks couldn't keep their eyes off her huge pendulous breasts.
"That's for sure," agreed Thomas Muda-Muddi, stopping at the sound of animals running: "Sounds like a stampede."
"Could be the brumbies everyone from Glen Hartwell to Willamby has been talking about," suggested Winston.
"No! Sounds too heavy for brumbies," said Agnes, climbing slowly to her feet: "Much too heavy for horses"
"Maybe a herd of giraffes escaped from the nearest zoo," teased Winston.
Glaring at him, Agnes said: "Too heavy for giraffes, or even elephants."
"Um, the last I heard, there were no land animals larger or heavier than elephants," said Thomas: "Leaving out dinos and other extinct creatures."
Ignoring his sarcasm, Agnes began waving her arms around in a shooing motion screaming: "Run, run for your lives, everyone."
At first, the tribe stared at her, as though she were crazy, then, finally, they started to climb to their feet, slowly ... too slowly starting to follow the elderly lubra into the forest, heading toward their sacred ceremonial site, which was ringed by red gums, the only possible place for them to hide.
Too soon for most of them the werebison charged into their tribal area and began trampling to death the Aborigines, not stopping to eat until they had trampled all to death. However, Agnes and eight other Mulla-Mulla tribal people managed to squeeze into the corroboree area, pat the tightly growing red gums.
Lowing in anger and frustration, the werebison tried charging the red gum trees, many of them ancient and massive in size. At first, it seemed to the nine natives cowering inside that the creatures would push their way in. But finally, lowing again in anger and frustration, the werebison returned to consume the fifty or so Aborigines they had already killed, crunching and tearing at their victims, ripping off limbs, and devouring flesh, organs, and bones alike.
Inside the ceremonial circle, the nine survivors sat hunched up, covering their ears with their hands, desperately trying not to hear the sounds of hellish feasting outside.



THE END
© Copyright 2024 Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia