Destroyed

Session 1

"So. Jacob... he was your boyf-"
"He was."
"Yes Zari, that's what I said. He was your boyfriend...until what?"
Zari's eyes teared up, "He cheated on me with this bimbo bitch called Candi! Like who calls their child Candi! That's a fucking strippers name!".Zari brushed her eyes with her jumper and cleared her throat, "I confronted him about it and he got angry and stormed out of our house. It was all quiet until a few days later when I get a call from my father... that wanker told all my dark secrets to my dad... who told my mum and now my whole family tree fucking knows. Every little thing I ever said about them. All leaked. They called me a disgrace and maybe I am but-" Zari burst into a flood of tears,
"I don't know what to do Josie!" Zari sniffled and looked down... ashamed.
"Zari. By the sound of it. You blame yourself." Josie tilted Zari's head upwards and stared her dead in the eyes, "You are not to blame for this. Jacob. He is to blame." Josie pointed to her chest, "He hurt you there." She moves her finger up to her forehead, "But that doesn't mean he has the control you here." Zari looked at her, eyes red and sore, "So take control! You are a strong woman. So take your life back Zari!" Zari rubbed her eyes and sniffled her nose,
"I don't know how to Josie..." Josie gazed at her and answered,
"Leave."

######

Was it that simple? Just... Leave... like that... poof... gone... no goodbyes... no coming back..,. not until I find the cure. If I leave... it's a fresh start but... I lose everything and if I don't... I'm stuck in this hellhole. I can't believe I am actually thinking of leaving.

I hunkered down on my couch. That's right... I'm couch-surfing... how dejected have I gotten?
Maybe it is for the best then? I can go to college... get a flat-share... the perfect break from reality... I could finally pursue my dream. I could make new friends. Abandon old ones. Sounds... scary.

It wasn't long before I packed all I wanted, it wasn't much to go off of but it'll be a start... of something new. I booked a flight to America and it won't be long till I'm long gone from this horrible life. My whole life was about to change and I can't tell whether it will be better for better or for worse. I'm scared. Terrified beyond belief. What if I can't make any new friends!? What if I can't get into any of the Schools!? What if... I'm losing my fucking mind?!

I decayed onto the sofa, drained and defeated and as I locked my eyes listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the windows I started to drift and it wasn't long before I was submerged in unescapable lust and fell quiet, dreading what ensued the next day.

Tuckered among jittery morning tourists I sat... timid and afraid. Gnawing at my thoughts were the inescapable doubts that follow such ventures. Doubts which had flooded my dreams and created my nightmares. It was those same doubts, however, that kept me excited. More excited, perhaps, than the passengers in which I resided among for those long hours between my old life and my new.

Arriving in America was like the start of a new life for me, the atmosphere felt offbeat... almost... sickly? Perhaps it was the rain but the air was much more humid and I felt utterly out-of-place. Like a stag in the headlights... frightened of what to do next...

It felt embarrassing, speaking in an English accent in America. Not to forget my mind was still bustling with doubts and thoughts and little tiny details I forgot. God... I'm such a mess. I look like such a mess too... my hair was soaked and my clothes were slap-dash at best. I sought refuge in a cafe and perched down at a table, and I sat... for a while, I just sat there pondering.

Contemplating on what to do next.

(P.S. Would you rather have a gay son or a spinning gorilla?)