After cutting myself for a month or so, my mom found out I was doing it by lifting the sleeve on my shirt. All i can say is that it was horrendous to watch my mother cry and hold me. I remeber her telling me numerous times " I just want my happy girl back." I heard this from my dad as well, i considered my dad my best friend, but I had shut myself from everyone for a while. When this day happened I was afraid to tell my mom I had attempted suicide the day before. My heart felt even lower in my stomach then thoughts rushed into my head 'How could i do this to my mom?' 'She doesn't love me anymore.' 'I'm useless.' I fell to the floor and curled into myself and said "what is wrong with me mom, please help me." She pulled me off the ground and wiped my tears saying "nothings wrong we just need to get some help." We got into her car and headed to the doctors office, as we pulled in i remeber thinking, 'The doctor is going to think im nuts.' We walked in and were seated for about 10 minutes when finally they said "Ashlyn, the doctors ready to see you now." My mom and I walked back and saw him. To my surprise he just smiled and told me this is very normal for people, i felt slightly relieved. He then put me on zoloft (an anti-depressant). I took it for about a month and felt like I had no emotion, I hated it. I got off the medicine and few weeks later I felt sad and alone until I met my boyfriend (now my husband) and slowly I've been able to make a comeback and help surpress some of these feelings.
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