I'm Sorry X a million

Words cannot describe,
the pain as I look into your eyes,
knowing the truth behind my lies,
every time a piece of me dies,
until looking in the mirror the face I despise,
and all the drugs your money buys,
and all the good times and highs,
I still can't move forward or rise,
your love traps me like flies,
on a spiders web, only difference is size,
and the means of our demise,
ideally I'd just apologise,
but "I'm sorry" doesn't fix the damage I did to your lives.

Now I'd probably just end it,
if only Tesco sold a suicide kit,
but honestly the glove just wouldn't fit,
so I guess I'm just trapped in this pit,
for the rest of my life, as long as my flame's lit,
slowly rotting inside, bit by bit,
maybe someone else will kill me quick,
you'd be better off, that I'll admit,
but unfortunately, I'll never quit,
I'm just a messed up misfit,
dreamt of spending life in a cockpit,
now I'm just too unfit,
and my life....I fucked it.