The Agony and Ecstacy

I now set eyes upon

The man of my dreams

I knew when our eyes met

This was more than it seemed



Drawn together like a magnet

I’d been here before

A timeless love never lost

Just waiting beyond a door



I knew he was different

This quiet beautiful soul

At times sullen, withdrawn

Others elated beyond control



Soon elated became manic

And sullen turned to anger

But the joy of a new baby

Blinded me to the danger



Poor tiny boy arriving too soon

Soon lost like a dream

Like a blow to the chest

Life became a silent scream



Grief bade me hold my little girl

More than ever so tight

But who was my love to hold

With his first gone from sight



I got out of bed each and every day

Tried buried in work, then lost in travel

Nothing would soothe

Life began to unravel



Soon there came a way out

Out of consciousness, out of pain

Numbness and oblivion

Were the virtues of cocaine



It came dearly this savior

And not just of gold

Your very existence lost

Even your soul was sold



This devil in disguise

This wolf in sheep’s clothing

Drove a dagger through our love

Of greed and self-loathing



Finally again we were blessed

Sadly too late somehow

My lover was lost

His demons owned him now



Anger became  uncontrollable rage

Manic now wild almost insane

I left the stranger once my love

Though my heart would forever remain



Conversations and Christmases

Then one day not word

A call from the hospital

It all seemed so absurd



I said farewell to those beautiful eyes

Maybe next time my love, we’ll be more wise