limitless possibilites of the brain

the most puzzeling organ within our bodies is whithout a doubt the brain...i am a paranoid schizophrenic, at least my doctors diagnosed me as such, and i ahve had some strange things happen to my body caus by pushing my brain outside the realms or normal thought and defined boundaries...it all started when i was walking one day in the forest near my home when i thought i saw a tree moving... not swaying in the breeze but moving...i concentrated on it so hard that i blew a blood vessel in my left eye ball. yet the tree did move, at least in my imagination, which within the laws of phisycs means that the tree moved... sometimes my mind is so full of information i blackout purposfuly...i haave the ability to black out on comand. its sort my defense mechanisme against my own brain when i feel it is doing my body harm, i can control the sickness, caus that what it is, to a certain extend...what troubles me the most is how fascinated i am by my own mental instability...i feel like nobody is expereincing what i am experencing or seeing what i see and certainly not thinking what i think...i used to keep a journal but one morning upon waking a read my entry of the previous night and it seemed my mind had played a trick on me and arranged certain words in specific lettings and in specific ways to ultimatly caus me to have a seizure...so my brain, without my knowledg, attempted to sabotage me...what can this mean, is ther seperate entities in all of us that can only be accessed by those of us who are chemicaly imbalenced and even comunicated to and contacted by those who have this strange brain ailement...i have the abilty to contact whatever force gave me the seizure...it is;nt malignant or occult or possesion, its me... its another manifestation of me, possibli a paralel me from a paralele unnivers. could this be what people with multiple personality desorders are taping into..some unconcious paralel univers that surounds us and only the few who are sensitive enough to notice can interact with themselves in the different aaspects of space and time...i get deja vu's often, i mean constantly i used to keep them in my notebook but it started to frightten me... on average a day i encounter at least 56 deja vu's...and all this is while i am medicated by doctors. i wonder if i experemented without taking my medicine and see how far i can take my thoughts out of the normal realm, it would be quite the undertaking. i wont of course for i would be completely unstable but its just an example of the limitless capabilities of the brain...there should be more studies about schizophrenic and psychotropic drugs to help calm the effects done my the medical establishemnt..personaly i dont look on what i have as a desease , i see it as unique..thers nothing wrong with me, i ahve good grades in school when i was in shcool. i dont feel like going to university, id rather settle down and live a real authentic life like a real human being providing for my sustencance with organic vegetable farming and , you know the things that a real man should do. spend time with my kids...not work 10 hrs, come home too tired to talk to them, send them to day care all day... weekends comca and getting drunk watching sports...that defines most "men" in our society...its not what youv got in your wallet that defines you, its what you;v got!.and how you plan to benefite from it. periode