BLABS

im again losing grip of my ego like i did a long time ago.and i honestly don't like it.never.selfish as it may seem, i like keeping my ego.

what im saying is, im offended, im embarrased, im annnoyed. ever felt so comfortable with someone *a friend, a colleague, a kuya* and everyone misinterpreted it too much. duh, define friend, my friends.



is it not possible for a girl to be sweet without the attraction. or maybe there is, as a girl friend insisted me of beleiving. but attraction is way different from love, or like. *you may want to take a look at the dictionary online. thank you*



i know im right. you see, i used to just live with it. but it's really not getting any funnier. i used to laugh about it but it's no longer a joke. it's my pride at stake. i see the perception of people around me changing, like im going to die for you. in their dreams. im still a good-natured girl. im not gonna do that, not for you, at least. ever felt having the best morning of your life, as in sitting in a classroom smiling, daydreaming of you sitting in your own office, in a tall building, in a wide area, in a city far from here. thinking of mr davao *i use that term for my mr right, somehow, i know he's there.laughs* fetching you with a luxurious car just to have lunch. and you got pinched by a seatmate saying' thinking of *ishouldn'tmentionthename*. err. for an instant, it felt great, then suddenly you feel like killing someone.



ever felt walking into a hallway, rushing, with documents pending on your hands, adrenaline rushing, and your brain could not think of what to do first, with your phone riinging and being flooded with 'wer r u', 'nid d leter 4.....', 'pls. come now' and you suddenly overhear someone saying 'ohhh, is that the girl' and you are being stared from toe*or maybe shoes,at least, it's neat*to head. you just want to throw papers in their faces and shout im not giving a damn to your life so you might at least stop staring at me and mind your own shits. KIDDING. haha. im not gonna say tht, at least in my head.



ever felt reading a cute message from your phone/a book or glued to a movie line or a song or maybe just a plain thought or you just blankly wanted to write something on your status and the next morning, you'll hear your pal saying 'iknowit'sforishouldn'tmentionthenameagain'. f.y.i. i have a mind to think, mouth to speak, life to live and an account to mind, to put whatever i want to.when i say WHATEVER, i mean whatever.



there's more. but i'd rather not mention. OK. so maybe i went too far, or you, us, me especially. but come on, you knew fairly well where we are and what i want in life and from you.......maybe i should stop writing now.



or maybe not. don't worry, whatever was it my friends, it stopped a long time ago, no more pushing aways, no more teasings, no more whatsover. Let's just enjoy life, i have more plans, go find a scholarship..hehehe...like mam t said, have a blog, study some more, and have fun even more.



it's not like im going to get married. i'll have more of them when i grew up.let's just forget about it and live life.yeah.