The Gift Of Grace

Grace, in my dog eared old Oxford is among other things, defined as the ‘Unmerited favour of God.’ It goes on to express it as a divine regeneration an inspiring and strengthening influence. I like that definition, ‘Inspiring and strengthening,’ who doesn’t need to be stronger, who doesn’t need to be inspired? To use my own words grace is a gift I don’t deserve. I guess that’s really a given. Who deserves the love that God gives us. Whose life comes anywhere close to being acceptable to God? The simple answer is no one.
After reading a couple of Norman Vincent Peale self improvement books about Christianity and psychiatry in the 1980’s, I attended church for a while. The church I went to was very different to the one I read about in those self help books. There were no people going forward to the alter claiming to be reborn. The church I went to as far as I could tell didn’t employ a psychiatrist like old man Peale’s did. It seemed to me that the all the church I went to did was a strange kind of ceremony and I didn’t know what to do when. I persevered. I learnt to follow the service in the prayer book. I mumbled my way through the hymn’s, but for the majority of my time there didn’t learn anything about grace.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not criticizing that church or those people, it was just me. I was looking for something I didn’t have a name for. I was seeking answers to questions I couldn’t articulate. I think looking back now I was looking for grace. I had two children and wasn’t married to their mother. I swore and smoked and drank occasionally and was pretty sure when God got his hands on me I was a gonna. I think in the twelve months I went to that church I only stayed for a cuppa twice. My shaking hands and bone china cups were natural enemies. But it was more than that. I just felt like I wasn’t good enough to mix with the people there.
Despite going to that church I thought there was no hope for me. While reading Peale’s books I’d try to read between the lines and see if anyone was as sinful as me. But as far as I could tell I was in a category all of my own. Reverend Peale talked about people being virtually re made.He talked about using the word of God to bring about real change in a person’s life. He wrote of defining moments, when the spirit of God took hold of people and changed them forever. That’s what I needed. The old me was worthless. The old me had made too many mistakes. The old me was a sinner and I felt like an intruder at that church. The old me needed to be remade. Looking back now what the old me needed was grace.
In time I drifted away from that church. I changed jobs and began working every second weekend so that was an excuse not to go half the time. I got full custody of my two children and figured providing for them was more important than going to church. I met a woman, decided to get married and save for a house. So went from working the occasional weekend to every weekend. I figured I’d remake myself. I’d become a husband, a father, a home owner. I had this notion that what I couldn’t grasp at church, I’d grab in the outside world. I still didn’t get it. Still couldn’t see that what I needed was there all the time. I still hadn’t learnt about grace.
Grace. Devine regeneration. An inspiring and strengthening influence eluded me for another ten years. It wasn’t till I met my now wife, Carloyn that I’d finally learn about grace. Carolyn taught me that Grace is a gift from God. That I couldn’t earn it but it was mine for the taking. She helped me see no one deserved, it even people who knew the order of service. Grace is amazing. I think it’s one of the most indescribable yet basic elements of the Christian faith. 2cor12.9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”. I didn’t need to improve myself I just needed to accept God’s forgiveness.