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Printed from https://writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1692951-Breath-of-Mass-Destruction
Rated: E · Poetry · Comedy · #1692951
This is just a light piece about encountering a person whose breath isn't quite fresh.
Have you ever been attacked by a person
with breath so bad
you wanted to go brush YOUR teeth?
If you haven't, consider yyourself lucky.
This girl just walked up to me with no regard for human life
and started blabbing,
Oblivious to the fact that her breath
had me gagging.
I'm talking about breath so bad it smelled like
she had been chewing on a dirty gym sock for weeks.
So bad I could smell it
through her cheeks.
And it put me in an awkward situation,
Because I didn't know if I should tell her
to end her toothbrush's vacation
because her mouth smelled like hot armpit;
Or to let her
continue the cremation of my nose hairs
with her repulsive respiration.
I tried to ignore the fact that
I felt like I was trapped in a porta-potty
with no ventilation,
but it was starting to get unbearable.
Plus I didn't think it was my obligation
to let her know her breath was terrible.
So I tried coming up with a solution,
but it was so bad that I didn't know
whether to give her
a tic-tac or toilet paper
so the whole predicament was confusing.
Eventually I pretended to have a
phone call I needed to make,
Just to get her
garbage truck mouth out of my face.
The rest of my day sucked
because the smell was stuck in my nostrils,
but I was just glad to leave the conversation alive.
That's what happens when you come across
Breath of Mass Destruction
and unfortunately, the epidemic is on the rise.
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