Her

Why did you leave me all alone?
i sit here 18 years old, in tears, wondering where these brown eyes came from.
I sit here trying with all my might to remember you, to just picture for a moment your face--but i can't.
I look in the mirror knowing that my nose is your nose and my eyes must be your eyes, and maybe i have your hands--how can i know?
Why did you leave me all Alone?
Why was my brother better to you, what did he have that i lacked?
i wanted so bad to just know you, to just understand that you maybe loved me.
I wanted to know that you were hurt when you let me go.
i needed to know where you are.
My eyes fill up with tears, because i can't remember you.
I have very few memories of you, but i like to think that at one time you loved me...
did you love me?
Were you trying to protect me?
where were you when i needed you?
My whole life was crazy and for the longest time i blamed you,
But i now think that maybe you cared, but just couldn't take care of me...
I guess ill never know.
But do you ever think of me when your all alone?
Do you remember my birthday--do you ever wonder what i am doing?
Do even care for me at all--EVER?
Sometimes i just pretend like you don't exist just so i can have a break from all the pain i feel
The pain of never being enough, why won't these feelings go away?
Mom whereever you are, i want you to know that i am okay--whether you care or not.