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Rated: E · Poetry · Activity · #1393373
Tuesday's assignment. Inserting lines to convey a feeling of time.

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Assignment.

Axilea wrote:

Do you remember those key words I gave you before day one? We were talking about space, positioning, blanks.

I think that freeverse allows us to play with this dimension, just as you played with it when you wrote your found poem. It is not just for the fun and pleasure of it, but, again, because we are searching for meaning and connotation. These are aspects we mentioned on day two.

Now think about time the same way. There are many ways to "express" feelings that are somehow related to the concept of time - other than content. Rhythm, flow, choice of vocabulary, use of long or short words, line-breaks, length of poem.

This is what I would like to focus on for our new assignment. I will give you a story and you can write it in many different ways. Your perception, your inner feeling of time will make the difference. You can use any or all of the devices we mentioned above to give the reader your vision of the story. Is your poem about the present, the past or the future? What would you like your reader to imagine/feel about the duration of your story? Is it long, short, indifferent? Exciting, tedious, slow... ? (You will use your own words for this exercise).

Here are the elements of your story:

"Mommy, can we take a walk?" He wondered. At seven p.m., the sun’s in bed, and the chills start lurking.

A little later, we were ready. A soft light leaked through the window. It led us out. We looked on in wonder. There was the moon, full and beautiful...

We strolled down the street with the moon. It was love I felt— in love with the world, and the world with me— my heart exploding.

Our walk in the wintery air was lovely, we bathed in the moon's yellow-like glow. All the while, the moon wooed me.

Then we went home...

Please keep these elements in place, you can add anything in between. I hope you will enjoy this!

David wrote:

Little Puffs


"Mommy, can we take a walk?" He wondered. At seven p.m., the sun’s in bed, and the chills start lurking.

Quickly he dawned his snow boots.

A little later, we were ready. A soft light leaked through the window. It led us out. We looked on in wonder. There was the moon, full and beautiful...

The steam from my breath lingered...

Little puffs danced there too.

We strolled down the street with the moon. It was love I felt— in love with the world, and the world with me— my heart exploding.

Our walk in the wintery air was lovely, we bathed in the moon's yellow-like glow. All the while, the moon wooed me.

I wondered if my husbands eyes
saw the same moon
through the fog of war.

Will he ever see our son?

Silent tears froze
as they fell through little puffs.

Then we went home...

 

Stargazer

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