Friends: Unhealthy for your diet

God, that woman could be such a bitch! I could easily walk to her house and

slap her across the face.  Nothing would satisfy me more than seeing her cry out.
         I clenched my hand into a fist, fighting the urge to scream names at my

computer. I was pissed, and not just pissed, but fed up. Fed up at all the bullshit

my friends had built for me these past few weeks. High school was hell. The friends

that I had come to trust were my worst enemies and my so-called friends were

simply using me. No one anymore was worth bullshit of my time. I stared at yahoo

i.m, the words  “BUT YOU’RE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO SEE IT!” 

penetrating my eyes the deepest. Those words hurt me the worst. How could I have

been stupid? I wasn’t the one putting up a wall and going behind my back, saying

what a bitch I was. It was all her fault, and dammit, if she didn’t know that, well I’d

easily yell and tell her! The funny thing is, is that I thought we had worked it out.

We had worked it out and worked it out and worked it out… and again tried, or

attempted to fix this gap between ourselves. Our efforts sucked badly and we both

knew it. We weren’t married, so why try to act like this was our future at stake? 

We could have easily just left each other, stop talking on i.m and at school, and

gone on with our lives. We were two big cowards. We would have eventually

forgiven each other and became best friends again but we knew that in a matter of

weeks, we would be right back where we had left off. It was so fucking futile. We

hated each other so much, yet we could NOT  not be friends. Everything we

had built up together couldn’t just go down like it had never happened. I couldn’t

connect with her anymore. She knew that too. It was sad really. Two high school

students fighting like nine year olds over a Barbie doll. I laughed. That was such a

bad example of what we were going through. Nothing could ever be said about our

quarrels. Not even FOB could mend this.
         
        My mother use to say, well she continues to say that if you have nothing

nice to say, don’t say it at all. I wish it were that easy. I’m using this as en excuse

but, when you have two teenagers with raging, I mean raging hormones, there is

bound to be a mega cat fight.  I looked down from where I sat. Slowly I released my

grip on my hand. I hadn’t noticed that the pan had died down along with the

drainage of blood my knuckles. God this sucked so badly. My one and only true

best friend wasn’t talking to me. My parents were of no help. And for god sake, I’m

not stupid enough to talk to my dog. I was in a pit dug so deep that even the most

intelligent person could get me out of. Was I really that stupid for not realizing this

sooner?