"Aint Scared of No Pigs!”

Contest Entry_May, 30, 2006: "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor
Ends July 7th

“Aint Scared of No Pigs!”
By: Sugaree

I practiced for days before my flight to the Windy City from Louisiana. I practiced in the mirror, in the shower, on fake phone calls and any other chance I could find to rid myself of my country accent. I got rid of a few clothes as well and even practiced my new and improved ‘city girl walk.’ I painted and repainted my face in fancy makeup seen in top magazines that exhibited ‘real city women’. I wanted so badly to fit in, especially since I’d turned sixteen recently.

Finally, I made it into the small suburban town just fifteen minutes away from Chicago. I called my friend Tori that I’d met on my last visit during Christmas. Now that we were teenagers, we’d get the chance to hang out a while longer than when the street lights came on. Tori even told me about a few cute boys she wanted me to meet.

The day came that we were able to hang out. We all stood around laughing and chit chatting. I didn’t say much since I was not too familiar with all the topics or people that they giggled so much about. I knew that my opportunity to ‘show off’ my new and improved ex-country girl self would prevail soon. Surely enough, it did.

The group must have really been having a good time and forgot about curfew hours imposed on city kids. Suddenly, I saw one of the boys peak around the corner. His eyes grew big and then he hollered, “The pigs are coming!”

Everyone started scattering and running to hide. I took the opportunity to just stand there and show them that ‘pigs’ wont hurt anyone. I stood proudly, with a smirk on my face, especially hoping the cute boy would notice my braveness.

I said to myself, since everybody was scattered, ‘I aint scared of no pigs.’

Suddenly, Tori yanked my arm to pull me down beneath the bushes where she hid. She was laughing so hard that I could barely understand what her problem was.

I was laughing at her and the whole crew for being so scared of pigs. Tori could barely understand me either through my proud laughter. Finally, we were able to calm down enough to understand one another.

I went first, “Pigs wont hurt nobody,” I accidentally let my country voice through.

“Oh my goodness!” She started laughing so hard all over again. Finally, she caught her breath and said, “Not those kinda pigs, Sugar. The COPS!” and started laughing all over again.

Needless to say, the rest joined in as well. Uncontrollably so at that. Actually, after the rush of blood calmed down from my crimson embarrassed face, I laughed until my side hurt too. That was the start to a pretty good summer.

End