A Day Forgotten

Four hundred and seventy-two steps are how many it takes me to walk from my house to the corner store. That’s not counting the steps that must be taken to walk out of someone’s way. A few steps off course sometime add up to around four hundred and eighty-five to five hundred steps.

Things must have been going my way today, four hundred and sixty-nine steps and only three steps away from the door. Looking toward me in the store were all the familiar unfriendly faces. Did not matter how they acted toward me, just came in here for a pack of smokes. Twenty cigarettes in each pack of smokes that was enough for a days worth (smoking at least one every hour) depending on how much a day I sleep. Around six hours worth in a day was my usual sleeping pattern. At least two cigarettes left for the morning.

Walking to the counter the cashiers face had this look, as if her face was saying “I just don’t feel like dealing with this today.” It did not matter what she thought as a paying customer it should not matter to her.
Asking for my favorite brand of smokes she said “Three fifty.” setting the pack of cigarettes onto the counter.
Reaching into my pocket I pulled out a large amount of change, three hundred and fifty pennies. She had this look of disgust watching me set the three dollars and fifty cents onto the counter. Sure it was in pennies but it was still money.

Patiently I waited for her to count all the pennies. Once she counted all the pennies and satisfied that the right amount was put onto the counter I went on my way with the cigarettes in my pants pocket.

Walking four hundred and seventy-two steps back to my house. The neighbors next door to me can be heard arguing with one another. It was normal for them to argue so loud. Yelling back to one another about money problems, how time was spent together, just anything to yell about to each other, things that make an unhappy marriage. Their arguing did not bother me much. Sometimes listening to what they were fighting about was more fun than turning on the TV and channel surfing.

After a short while, about two hours and forty-five minutes later. They would stop their bickering. Maybe they settled their differences or their lungs tired from all the yelling. Whichever it was it really did not matter to me.

Smoking three cigarettes already I started on my fourth. The day seemed to be moving slowly. The day was becoming tiresome. This was of course just my point of view.

Outside from my window there were children playing enjoying the sun. Playing tag and just talking with one another. Looking at a child you can see how easy it was for you to be happy back then.

The hours passed slowly the rest of the day. Using this time to think about life and how little time we are given. Life is just one big countdown. You’re just waiting to get to zero.
Half of my smokes were already gone. Ten hours have past and not a lot was accomplished in this time. Christ, it feels like I am doing nothing with my life. Yet being alive should be something to be happy about. Every breath taken should be cherished. Sure that is the way to think but smoking these cigarettes takes some of the beauty away from that. Fuck it, if smoking is wrong let my life be full of riddles and questions that have no answers.

My eyes for a while took interest in a spider on one of my windows in my house. It was moving in for a kill. A careless fly crawling on the window took no mind to the spider close by. For the flies foolish nature it became in the grasp of the spider. You really know your day is going no where when you have time to watch a spider catch a fly.

Fifteen cigarettes and hours later the day finally came to an end. As the sun went down the moon and stars lit up the sky. I tried counting the stars once. Have not successfully done so though. There was no need to count. Just try and enjoy the night for what it is. A mind that does not think is a mind at rest. If really wanting to I’m sure that my thoughts could cloud my mind through the night. It was a waste of time to think and not do. Sometimes thinking is all that you can do. Not tonight, my thoughts are not going to mess up this beautiful night.
The last cigarette before the night came to a close was the one to savor. Taking one last look at the stars I put out the cigarette and went to bed.