What a great story. I just hope that the twins start to play with him soon, and that they don’t care if he lives or dies. According to their personalities in part one I believe that they would do this. As for the story I liked the length and the different point of views you incorporated. The grammar was good and the writing was excellent. I strongly encourage you to keep writing. I cannot wait for the sequel.
Great story, loved the feeling of helplessness. I also liked the length and detail. If there is on critic it would be that it was hard to tell paragraphs apart. I liked the split personality and the change around. This story was excellent in my opinion. I can’t wait to see what you release next. Please keep up the great writing.
Great story, I would love to see it continued. I like the fact that she is only using her brother. What I don’t like is he’s getting used to it. I know It may sound weird but I believe that if a shrinking story involves interaction between any two family member than the one that is getting dominated, for a lack of a better word, should not like it. I find these more appealing. If you continue the story I just hope the brother is miserable. I also though the story should be longer, but if you are waiting to see how everyone likes it so far I understand. Just one constructive criticism, and that is grammar. Some people are fickle about grammar. You have pretty good grammar yet I believe some of the paragraph could have been split and some word choices could have been better. However, I loved this story and as stated above I would love to see it continued. As an end not I think it would be cool if he was indestructible or just really durable, yet he could still feel pain. I believe this can open the story to a whole new level since the options of where it can go are pretty endless.
Great story and detail, just wished is was longer. I also believe the grammar could be better. For example using different transitions instead of using said try using stated, replied, whispered. This will give a more in-depth look and a better personality to the story. The only other way this story is let down is that it’s not long enough. By long enough I mean expanded. I think you could of expanded the experience of the shrinkees. Like when they were eaten you could of gone into what the other heard or saw. Also, when he was getting used as a ‘dildo’ it would have been great to ‘see what he saw’ or that is to engross us in his experience. I hope this review helps and I cannot wait to see what you upload next.
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