Very, very well done. I had not expected the ending and enjoyed it infact. It felt real and I felt the emotions being portrayed within this piece. Everything spoken in it felt like water to me. You may be confused on why I used that comparison so let me explain:
Each of the little words slipped though my fingers as I tried to grasp them. I tried to understand it. I knew the story but I couldn't quite understand the deepness of it.
Each of the words were like water because they relected something when they were still and the more I thought about the words the more they rippled and smugged the crystal reflection.
Yet the words were like water because if I only had a little I would not be satisfied. The more I drank the more I wanted.
Wow, that was incredible. I enjoyed the story very much. In my mind it flowed easily like a song, a ballad. It rolled off my tongue as I spoke like a poem. I thought this was very creative, it was sad AND sweet. For some reasons I felt like it was a legend in some ways. Telling me how love and hate had been created. Thank you for such a magnificent story. It was profound and knowledgeable.
THIS WAS A GREAT STORY. You provided great imagery and I was just annoyed with the noise as your main character was. I would suggest to add a few more details in a few of the events when your main character is awake at night. I felt like I was rushed through most of those events and didn't get quite a clear enough image. Thank you for letting me read this it was exciting
I really liked the scene that you displayed with your very descriptive words. I did enjoy this thought and piece. My favorite part, as if it was almost a hint to something else about the narator is third to last paragraph. I would love to see why this piece is relevant to a story though. That might help me to understand why it is strange that the narator is remembering it at this exact moment. But I do like it.
I LOVED your orologue I can't wait to read more. My only thing is when you start you chapter try telling the story with the writer's five senses hearing, smelling, seeing, feeling, and tasting
I'm glad you suggested that I read more of your work other than you flash fiction story. This was really good. It felt so real and strange and I really enjoyed it. I can see you put a lot of thought into it and a lot of work. I especially loved how in the end there really was a tiger. The end was a nice funny way to end the tension or easy goingness of the story. I also loved how you had a lot of context clues.
Wow!!! Once again I am stunned with the writers on this sight. This Idea that you have is truly amazing and different. I sure hope you are going to make more of this into a bigger story and broden the idea. I was intrigued with your first paragraph and you kept be wanting to go read with the good descriptive words you used. My only suggestion is the beginning. I got a little confused about the flier and the little girl part. I think you rushed that way too quickly
Through out your writing you keep changing the past tense and present tense language. Such as -ed and -ing which is fine and dandy except when a story is written in the way you did it. Is she doing something or did she do something. I loved reading this I hardly found grammatical errors and your use of words was genuis
WOW. That was amzing. The description was fantastic and the end was riveting. My only suggestion is the beginning. Although you started it perfectly it got a little boring because of too much descroption. I hope that makes sense. Other than that I loved it.
I love the surprise at the end. had been hoping for some twist in events and there it was. I'm curious about what is going to happen next. I hope this character doesn't die since it was in her perspective. Whatever happens to this character or in the rest of your book it alwasy frustrates and confuses the reader if you keep switching point o fviews. I loved the suspence in this book.
I did really enjoy the third book. My only thing is when writing a series you have to decide whether the books have to be read in order or they could be ead seperately with the reader still being able to understand. I really liked how I could understand somewhat on what was happening without ever haveing read your other books. My only thing is it got a little confused. My advice is to try to organize your thoughts a little more.
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