This was perfect, I've heard a lot of people who say rhyming poems are for children and just another nursery rhyme but, this proves them wrong. Rhyming when used correctly can give more of an impact than any non-rhyming poem.
It had a good message and good descriptions, I wouldn't say I but rather we us or don't specify who. And your right we do need to respect the earth more than we do. Heck you just inspired me to look up the nearest recycling plant.
It was good, especially that part about her being self sufficient when grown. But the thing I don't like about weeds is that they kill other plants for themselves. I don't think you were trying to imply that in your poem but that was the first thing that came to mind. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this. Either way I enjoyed reading it.
Write on,
Alex
I liked it but I think 4&5 could use a little work. One of the things I live by is the is: Live in the present for the future does not exist and never will and the only harm it can do us is to make us worry. (That doesn't mean don't plan ahead)
Maybe that's why I really like that last segment. Write on.
You really put yourself out there and just laid open your heart on some really deep issues in a way that a lot of people wouldn't be able to do. I do disagree with you though on the word almost though. It almost went wrong, implying that almost is a good thing and cannot be used just as a bad thing. And I think that you should keep writing, because even if it is a sad story, YOU know what it's like to be there and can probably portray it very well, and you could even touch some peoples hearts and change their opinions, and if you do finish that children story I'll gladly read it.
WOW, i should not have read that at three in the morning. There's nothing I can say that would make this any better. Good job on the ribbon too, you deserve it!
Well, this was an interesting poem, very light hearted unlike so many others. It's good to take a break and think about something so simple yet so complex. I liked the meaning but I didn't like how you rhymed in some spots yet kept others completely blank. Keep on writing.
This is another great poem, and it has some good visualization. This poem like "Walking On Raindrops" shows you the emotions of the reader and takes you on a journey with you. Another reason I like this poem is my parents are divorced too, and I can relate. But I've never met my dad so at least you can keep a relationship with both parents. Keep writing!
It was a good poem, and it drew you in, wondering the out come. I could visualize the long car ride, and how it must have been hard, especially to willingly leave a life that you enjoyed to help out with family problems. My favorite and least favorite part was the last stanza. The word alone for me broke the rythme, but it was followed by my favorite part. "Just looking outside at the majestic tree tops
Everyday I am happy, walking on the raindrops." It was very smooth and had some good symbolism, walking on the rain drops that had tormented and worried you this whole time. I really enjoyed it, don't stop writing bugzy!
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