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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/skynet
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20 Public Reviews Given
106 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of A Gift for MCG  
Review by Skynet
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
If I must write throughout the night
(maybe a different word instead of 'throughout'?)

Will it end a nightmare or a dream?
A good reference to Shakespeare

The hour is late, my fingers cold
(strong visual)

I see the clock, and the hour is old.
(not sure what hour would be considered 'old')

Thanks for sharing

-Skynet
2
2
Review by Skynet
Rated: E | (4.5)
poppet
■ noun
Brit. informal an endearingly sweet or pretty child.
(interesting)

eddy who was four and a bit.
(not sure what you are referring to with 'a bit')

Dad lifted him up
(say who 'him' is)

“We’ve already got your Christmas presents and puppies cost a lot of money,” explained Mum
(if a child talks to a parent this way, the parent's response would not mention money)

This is a very warm hearted story.
Thanks for sharing.

-Skynet
3
3
Review of Bumble Boy  
Review by Skynet
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The sounds of chainsaws woke Jonathan Whitiker back up to his nightmare.

(back up to his nightmare is awkward)

It was some complete stranger that he didn’t have any desire to know any better.
(awkward sentence)

the woman released their shoulders back into their own custody.

(custody is not the correct word to use)

Keep it fresh!
-Skynet
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