This is a good poem. One things that would be a nice touch in order to make it more appealing would be a little bit of punctuation. Such as a period at the end of a sentence. Separating you're thoughts helps the reader understand the piece a little better. Other than that, I believe you have chosen a very simple topic and have executed it well. You expressed your thoughts in a very simple yet effective way and for that, I congratulate you. Keep writing! :)
This was a very well-written poem. I absolutely love that rhyme scheme and the pattern with each stanza. Additionally, you didn't over-do the rhyme scheme. The only thing that I could think to maybe edit would be in the last line of stanza number 3. I believe it would be better without having the second comma after "fun." It would work out well.
Other than that, this poem is very good. Keep on writing and I believe you will go far :)
I think this was very amusing :) i love the end about growing a tailfin but im just going to keep playing. That is funny as well JB himself lolz. But this was nice.And whats worse..is that i know a few guys who are actually like that. That they dont care what happens..thay will keep on playing. haha
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