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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by JS Phillips
Rated: E | (1.0)
We don't feel grounded before we're whisked off to the past. The setting, to this reader, is vague and boring. Your prose could be cleaned up as well, as there are misspellings and awkward phrasings. Things like "Cody was sleepier than he usually was" means nothing because we don't get a sense of how he normally is. Better set up, better pacing, better character development, and better setting would help this piece immsensely. Start from the ground up. Practice with where we are, then practice putting your character in it, then add in the plot. Once you've done a few rounds of that, blend it all together so it feels seamless.
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Review of Running Club  
Review by JS Phillips
Rated: E | (1.5)
I'm not sure two unseen people having a conversation works here. Even if it's a short piece, the reader still needs to feel grounded, to care about the people, to at least see them. Much can be done to convey emotion and plot with setting, or with subtle non-verbal cues. This just reads like a court transcript and is hard to feel involved in. You've got a nice little plot, why not show us something? Isn't that what writing is all about?
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