This would be wonderful explanation of where and how cabbage patch kids were born! the story reminded me of the maddening collection of these dolls and the fights that went on over who got the last one on the toy shop's shelves. Everyone had to have one. and most had to have as many as they could get, growing huge collections in the process. This man's mom had stopped at three, but hey, what's three when you could have ten?
Thank you for sharing this work. My interpretation and opinions are just that: suggestions that you may or may not find useful. You are not obligated to use them. At the end of the day, this is your work and you will do with it as you see fit.
I think this is some of the best advice I have ever reviewed in a piece. Most people are sensitive about their own work, but those who read it could help the author reach greatness simply by following a bit of advice that may or may not be an improvement to the original work. So many think that advice can't be given while still remaining polite and kind. While truthful reviews are the ones I prefer, I do want it to be given respectfully. I think that is the very least the best advice can be given under.
Thank you for sharing and I'll be back to peruse your portfolio further another day.
This was insanely clever, Either Brian is a saint, or sinner, is unknown if one is to believe the story. An argument can be made that Brian did the pranks and then left the scene, but an equally probable is his innocence as he was not on the scene or around the scene at all at the time of the unfortunate events.
For me and mine, I will say that the boy is innocent and that his reputation is the result of him being a scapegoat as he isn't there to defend himself or to confront his accusers.
Thank you for sharing and keep in mind that my review is just my opinion. Any suggestions made are yours to use or note as you see fit as this is your work at the end of the day.
Hello BlackAdder. I found this piece to read and flow very well. I don't usually read nor review fantasy genre as I don't follow it well. This, however, filled me with delight and found me vested in the battles of the hero, Cadoc. I would like to see this written as a longer piece with the results of his return to Aideen as this character added mystery and mystic to the story. I'm a sucker for a witch.. anyway, It has been my pleasure to read your work. Please keep in mind that my suggestions are just that--my opinion and you are not obligated to take them up. At the end of the day, the work is yours to do whatever you wish
Hi River, I decided to review your work after seeing it in scroll. The story you have written is engaging, but does have a few missing details. There needs to be, in my opinion, a more structured approach to the mechanics and emotions of the work. You could do this by lengthening the work to include details such as the reaction of the police, fleshing out the difference in the story where the cat could not go to suddenly being allowed in the trailer. Also, why would Asher get into a trailer with a stranger to begin with? what were his motives?
I hope you find this review helpful and know that you are not obligated to use any of the suggestions I have made. These are only my opinions and at the end of the day, this is your work to do with as you see fit.
Hi Cian, I decided to review this poem as part of my reviewing goals. I found it to be interesting and to offer a great deal of emotion that can be projected upon the subjective reader as it is relatable to many. That said, I did see that the fourth stanza read a little off. I would do something like "as south they flew" as a means of making the flow a little better. Of course, this is just my suggestion and you don't have to nor are you obligated to use any of it.Thank you for sharing your work.
This is written almost as a resolution that one sets for themselves to reset their lives when in chaos. I found the poem to follow the prompt and to get a clear message within the 12 lines of this piece. I felt hopeful as I read it, and I liked that the poem does acknowledge hardships will still occur. It exhibits a sense of gentleness to oneself that is compassionate in a new beginning.
Loved the twist in this story. The pace was well thought out and I could feel the family's frustration, then disbelief when the truth came out. You marked this experience, but I hope the outcome for you was not the same as for the family in this story. Thank you for sharing and keep writing. I have enjoyed my stay in your portfolio.
I think some of the repetitive narrative caused the story of the poem to suffer a little. The story is good, just lost among the repetition. Thank you for sharing your work and for entering the contest. I believe this can be a great story poem if a few tweaks are made, just add a little more excitement and anticipation along the way.
You have a talent for writing for children. I wonder if you should pursue publication of some of your works for kids? Just a thought, Anyway, this poem told a story and educated on the life cycle of the frogs without scaring a child by mentioning the predators that eat frogs and tadpoles. I like that the poem allowed for life to be so carefree on the pond.
What a wonderful explanation of a ghost writer. It was creative and different than what was expected. I worked as a ghost writer for many years, mainly technical publications and business plans. I am delighted to see my old profession with new eyes. You have a gift, keep writing.
I guess the boys should have checked with Mom before searching for the mitten. I love that sibling rivalry is used as is the depiction of their sister as younger. It is just like a child to run to Mom to tattle on her older brother. This tale could go on forever back-to-back between the siblings but you found a great stopping point.
I love this. It highlights the difference between each of us and celebrates our uniqueness. I think we often try to hide behind what we think is acceptable in society, but it is in diversity that we truly make a difference in the world. Besides, how boring the world would be if we were all the same.
I like how you used the prompt in your poem. Usually, this aspect of sleep is given to the sandman, but here, it differentiates between two entities: the dream molder, the creator of dreams and the sandman, the delivery system. I also like that the language used for this poem was down to earth and engaging without having to be weighted down with unnecessary vocabulary. Thank you for sharing and keep writing.
I like this whimsical portrayal of a court proceeding. The use of the owl in the imagery of this is genius as we often see owls portrayed as extremely smart, but in the real-world owls lack a lot of this elevated intelligence. That said, it was a fun read that carried along at a good clip and held attention to the end. Thank you for offering this for my reading pleasure.
short, sweet, and to the point. Often, such short works don't have enough merit to stand alone. However, I found this piece to engage the senses and invoke emotion that is fitting to the subject. I like that more than one sense is addressed and that love lost is paid with salty tears. This means that the lovelorn endures even as they loose a sense of togetherness. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
The imagery in this poem makes it possible to be powerful while also being to the point. I enjoyed your use of the prompt words and the adages that are long told years ago. Not many people use them now, but the nostalgic rhythm here is appreciated.
Thank you for entering
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #2323782 by Not Available.
I have attached your gift points to this review. Congratulations and keep writing
I can see this as a wonderful work to be read to the bride on her wedding day by the groom. The love he feels for her shines through A wonderful feeling, settling down and building the family unit. With this much adoration for his bride, I predict a long happy marriage Thank you for sharing.
I found this poem to address the internalization of trauma and repressed memories that haunt the person the poem talks about. I think one has to look inside themselves if they are to find their feelings, even the painful ones. Thank you for sharing your work and keep writing.
For fanfic, this was good. I generally don't do well with fanfic because of the nature of the characters involved. However, this would be a great addition to the series in my opinion. The flow is good, the tone on point, and it is easy to read. I may try something for this prompt as well even though I don't normally write for children. you have inspired me. thanks for sharing.
I like the flow of time in this piece. The sweater tied everything together nicely and the bond between mother and daughter were apparent to the reader. It was sweet. Thank you for sharing your work and congratulations on the win in this round of Daily Flash Fiction Contest.
I enjoyed this story. It brought back fond memories of my teen years in the 80s. The description of the clothing was detailed and engaged my imagination as I could see Peggy in my mind's eye. The banter between Peggy and Scott flows well and is not forced Thank you for sharing and keep writing.
This was well written and an enjoyable read. The flow was well thought out, and the emotions of the work were easy to follow. Good imagery. Thank you for sharing your work with us and keep writing. You have a true talent.
We would all die an ugly death if we hit and miss, just like the blue jay in your poem. The choices we make affect more than just the moment in time that we make them. They carry over into our future and weave a web for us to live in. Keep writing and thank you for sharing your work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lizzie2694
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 7:12pm on Sep 07, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
