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Public Reviews
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Review by lesleslie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Great satire! This is a very well thought out piece. With so many events and lack of good judgement abounding in our government, this writing puts a great number of the pieces together to form a very imaginitive, though hopefully unlikely scenario. Very entertaining. Thanks and keep writing!
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Review by lesleslie
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very well written vignette. The only improvement I would suggest is that you start it with something that grabs your reader and literally drags him into the text. By doing this, the descriptions and feelings that you express become an active adventure for your reader. You actively create those feelings rather than just express them.

For example, start your picture as follows:

"Suddenly his features softened and his small young lips formed a contented smile. 'Angels -- and they're singing to me,' he said, softly."

Start, literally, from the end and cut back to the beginning and your reader will want to know what created this amazing conclusion.

It also opens up myriad new directions for your idea to take.

Doing this can create a multitude of possibilties for using this or similar pieces in larger works.

The more interesting and enticing you make the beginning, the more creative possibilities you open for yourself as a writer.
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Review of GET THE PICTURE?  
Review by lesleslie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Are these characters for which you have a story planned? I hope so -- and if the story line is a complex and diverse as the natures of the characters you've created, it should be a terrific story.

If, indeed, these are characters you intend to develop for a purpose, I would enjoy reading a longer character development of each.

Good work -- very descriptive and interestingly done.
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