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Review of Not so Sweet  
Review by Gabriel
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I thought this was a really heartwarming story. I could pick up where it was going about halfway through, but I was far from disappointed when I reached the ending. I liked how the descriptions of the girls' accessories accentuated their personalities i.e. Delcine's guitar bag and Mae flower bag. The only thing I felt could be improved would be the flow and dialogue. The story seemed a little choppy at parts and I couldn't figure out why Mae brought the chocolates so many days before valentine's day. As for the dialogue, it was decent, but the line about 'being brave like you' was a little trite. Either way it's a good story and I can tell that it has really been thought out .
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