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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading your essay. I especially loved your approach to The Question, how you theorized about the motive behind asking the question in the first place. I do agree that fear drives people to ask such a thing. I think that fear stems from greed. We want to hang onto life, which brings us to resent death, even fear it.

I liked the "defense mechanisms" you listed. I was a little curious about your statement, "it is very possible that some of these modes of thought may indeed preserve a degree of ourselves beyond death." How so?

I do agree that those defense mechanisms are also forms of coping. Sometimes a person needs to create a statement with such decisiveness in order to get on with life rather than wallow in dread and fear, which is exactly what I believe people should do, live the only way they know how.

How I live, how anyone lives, is under the microscope of psychologists and anyone else who takes interest in why we do what we do. Nature tells us that we grow according to our environment and our own makeup. For instance, a rose bulb cannot help but grow to be a rose, a lily bulb cannot help but grow to be a lily, a tiny frog egg cannot help but metamorphoze into a full-grown frog, a bird cannot help but sing. You catch my drift. I feel we must be who we are and accept life. I think we should enjoy life but not hang onto it too tight lest we begin to dread death and, therefore, diminish our quality of life.

I accept death but I am still curious about what may or may not be on the other side. Recently, my aunt's house burned down. She lost just about everything. I can't help but see how life is similar to this event. All my aunt's things: her sentimental items, her pictures, her very wardrobe, are all things that matter in life, but in death, they mattered not. They all burned with the house. Has my aunt's life really changed that much? All those things can be replaced. I know people say they can't but they can. It just depends on how you look at the situation. No, that particular dish from a great grandma is long gone, a picture from 1955 is gone as well, but new pictures can be taken of new memories, stories can be shared just as well as they could be told before. The life that was lived was still lived. Some people don't even have pictures to begin with. Having those pictures was a luxury. The important thing is the life that was lived to make my aunt who she is today. She will find a new house to live in and buy new things.

In short, the life that was being lived in that house is still going on, it is just different than it was before. A clue to what might lie at the other side of biological death? We'll never know until we get there.

If my aunt hangs on too tight to her old stuff, I am certain her quality of life will diminish. She will become depressed and unable to move forward. She will fear the future. And we all know the future is coming, ready or not.
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Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This piece made me smile, especially at teh end when you say "Very little in my work is true..." because it makes me wonder if even what you are saying in this poem is true! I know it probably is since this poem is about all your other work. :)

I understand what you are saying, but I felt the verses with 'stink' and 'rock' were a little out of sync with the rest of the poem, kind of like the words were used only because they rhymed with 'think' and 'shock'. They imply a meaning rather than just state it. For instance, in the verse "My poetry has a quality of shock" you state that shock is a quality, so the meaning is clear and won't be mistaken to mean, say, an electric shock, not that I took the words 'stink' and 'rock' literally.

In the context of your poem, the meanings of the words are clear, though, and they even add humor to the poem.

Now, I want to read some of your work that others might find shocking. :D
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Review of Twelve  
Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: E | (4.0)
First, I want to say thank you for sharing such a personal story. Knowing how sharing affected you before, I can't imagine the courage it must take to reveal the same information again. I have read only a few memoirs before, and your piece here could definitely be expanded into one. You tapped into several themes surrounding a particular time in your life; what it's like to cross over the threshold of childhood into the realm of the teenage years, the betrayal of a parent, the courage to speak up, and how the times can affect life experiences.
After I read your story, I was left wondering how you feel about your decision to speak up now. You mentioned that for years you regretted talking; well, what happened to you in your future that helped you to finally come to terms with what happened, if at all? Food for thought.
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Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow, clever story! I was just beginning to wonder where the conversation, and the story, was leading when they heard someone approaching. I'm not sure if that means anything as far as the effect of the story up to that point other than the conversation between the manequins didn't really capture my attention. There was no action; but, a lack of action made sense once I realized the manequins were manequins. So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if the conversation was much longer, I might have wanted to stop reading.

I'm glad I kept reading though, because I would have missed a spectacular twist!

Chester observes they were "...overlooked again". Seems that if they remember they've been overlooked they would wonder why people ignore them and leave them there.

Nonetheless, great idea for a story. Idon't know if this is the whole story (could be!), but I love the ending!
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Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I think you should develop this further. I am bias though because I love period fiction that includes kings and queens, trusted knights, and that pagan element common in those days (an omen, for example). I am concerned for this king because of his temper. How does he get through a day, much less run a kingdom, without his friend there to keep him calm? I understand the king is drunk and upset, I guess I feel like you described his feelings so well through his actions that I could see him murdering that poor apprentice had Ethan not arrived.

I loved the song the queen sang to draw the baby out of his silence, but I felt a little confused about why the baby would only start crying when he left his mother's arms. I had the impression the queen intended for him to start crying when she sang the song to him.

I am very curious what the omen means for the future of the boy and the kingdom.
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Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Okay, it can't stop there! I am imagining what Ratta will do with his money. He's a little different from the rest so I can't see him getting away with spending his loot on pops or fruit whether intentionally or not. The dialogue is catchy and descriptive in itself so that just adds to the description you provide through your characters' actions.

As far as mechanics go, I saw only a few things. The hook, Jaws, mentions "...Sure as I know me own mum sa'h!" but then says "...Old man's one of those 'centrics...", so the gender is questionable. Then, I think you mean cane when you say cain? Lastly, to show possession when referring to Jaws, I believe it is correct to say either Jaws' or Jaws's so long as you choose one option and use it consistently throughout the story.
I hope my review is helpful. I am new to Writing.com, so I hope I can figure out how to follow you and this story.
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Review of Ashley D-P  
Review by Gemma Davies
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wow, overall this is a nice song. I especially enjoy the chorus, how it flows in short sentences and captures the main idea of your song, how your friend has died and left you alone. The reason I chose to read your song is because of how you described it (I related to you because I recently lost a good friend, too), but I'm sure I would have skipped past your song if the title was all I could see. Something like "I Still Cry" or "I Miss You" would have caught my eye because those are feelings I, or anyone else, would relate to having experienced the loss of a friend. Of course, if I heard the song and absolutely loved it, I would be more likely to remember the title, I guess.
I want to point out the change of tense early on in the song, mainly in the sentence about her smile. I'm not sure it was intentional? In the following sentence, however, it makes sense to state that her laughter fills your ears rather than filled your ears.
I hope this is helpful. Great song!
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