I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem.it flowed extremely well, with an enjoyable regular pace.The rhyming appeared natural and did not seem forced which unfortunately is quite common in poems of this form.
i love the way you draw the reader in, teasing the reader and forcing the reader through curiousity to hurriedly reach the end of the poem to discover what "the thing" is. Wonderful!! Love is indeed all of things.It is worth the pain that it can cause because in the end love conquers all.
Allow me to make a personal viewpoint..
In line 9 "It makes us laugh, it makes us cry". I think it would flow even better if you were to say "It makes us all laugh, it makes us all cry. ".
I just felt that adding the word all improves the flow and meter slightly. But that is just my opinion.
I enjoyed your style of writing and look forward to reading more of your work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fergal
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 12:12am on Jun 26, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
