wow. thats really good. I love the way you gave traits to death. It flowed beautifully.I love the lion metaphor. I could see Death actually settle in the places and see the stake in blood. Keep writing that was perfect. One suggestion would be to go in with a bit more detail like seeing the prey get killed or how Death kills or something. You dont have to but it may help to give a little enhancement of thought to your work. Love it. Write On!!!
wow wow wow thats awasome idd say make it longer and ad some extra detaillzzzz to itttssss it is awsome i love it keep writting that could or can be the works of a real artist kkeeeep upppp uuuurrrr awsome poet and that is really superd no not that but exuberantly awsome
wow duude seriously thats awsssoooommmmeeeeee one sight suggestion try to not switch from differing point of views like going from first person saying "I" and third to "YOU" it is a little confuseing but i like it its reaaaalllllllly reallllly good. my other BIG suggestion is to KEEEEPPPP WRIIITTTIIINNNNGGGG love it
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