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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chigh
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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Lilian Gish  
Review by HighC
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I actually like the premise of this story. It's unique and has the potential to be fleshed out even further. I'd like to see you expand this a little bit more and delve more into Elie's story. I think you could do even more with it.

A couple of suggestions I would make would be to leave out "such as the Titanic" at the beginning. That will come up when you start talking about Elie. You see, for me it took a little bit of the steam out. When you leave a short scene hanging talking about impending disasters, we want to read about the disaster that comes next, not be told it has something to do with Titanic.

I would also consider revising the second paragraph ... "husband booked a trip to New York" and not mention Titanic until later.... "convinced her husband to cancer their scheduled trip on the maiden voyage of the Titanic or something along those lines. I feel it might make it a little bit stronger.

Again, these are just my thoughts, but I really did enjoy the read. Nice job! Happy writing.
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Review of The Sound  
Review by HighC
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed this story, but had to read it twice. For whatever reason, when I got to the part about the eviction I had to go back to the beginning and tally up all the damages for myself to see if a "reasonable" apartment manager / owner would evict someone based on damages alone. Depending on the circumstances, it's possible - it's all on how the lease is written. You might mention something about that towards the beginning of the story to sort of foreshadow what's to come. You might just have it as part of a "casual conversation" type of thing where she states, "This is just a standard lease everyone signs, any pet damages are your responsibility, stains to the carpets or that type of clean up will also be paid for by you.... " It's the only thing that threw off a good read for me.
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Review of I Am Not a Hero  
Review by HighC
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
The details you have added supply some depth to the story, which make it more complete for me. However, I'm not sure why, but it still feels a bit two-dimensional. I really like the premise, but I think what I'm missing is the feel of the actual battle and the emotions post battle / post prophet death. With that said, I really enjoyed the last two paragraphs, where the reality of the situation lives and the emotion boils under the surface.
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