That was awesome! It was descriptive and thoughtful. John was definitely a three dimensional character with great potential for a longer story. I wanted to know what happened next and was disappointed when I came to the end. This story also had a great lesson woven into it. I would love to read more about John and how he begins to show his wife that he cares. Maybe he finds out that poem was, indeed, written for him at an earlier stage in their marriage or maybe he realizes she is thinking of leaving him for someone else and sets out to prove that no one will love her as much as he does. This is great writing that will make wonder about how it ends all day today!
I think if you were a published author, I would be your biggest fan. You write so descriptively that the reader feels as if they are actually there living the story instead of only reading it. The characters are three dimensional and not flat like some I have read. You convey the sense of the spooky and supernatural with goose bump-making clarity. I actually found myself wondering if there is anything I should ask God to forgive me for before I get a mysterious old book in the mail! I truly don't understand why you are not yet published, your writing would give Dean Koontz and Stephen King a run for their money.
I hope you have the entire book written! I would consider it an early, very early Christmas present to read the whole thing. This one chapter was OUTSTANDING! You wrote with such attention to detail that I could see the priest, the fiery cross and glowing scroll work on the book. The fear and awe that Father Benedict must have felt at the sound of the voice of the Lord was obvious and I found myself if I should read my Bible a little more every day! The grief he felt when he saw the young girl was dead was also palpable. I absolutely loved this chapter. Now on to chapter 2.....
This was an awesome story! I was right there with Sid. He reminded me a lot of my dad. The scenes were described in brilliant detail so that I felt as if I were in the town or in the car. I would love to read more of your stories. You have the ability to actually transport your reader into your story and let them feel what your character is feeling. I was actually disappointed along with him when he had to wake up and take his meds! I say it was brilliant!
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