How often we find ourselves adrift in the seas of life, looking for refuge and feeling as if there is no one to be found. He alone, with faith, an open heart and love can calm the seas and bring you safely home.
Another lovely sentiment that instantly calms and reassures. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful gift.
There is so much beauty in and around us, if we only open our eyes to see. The image presented here compliments your words so perfectly. We are never alone, comfort and love can be found as far as the eye can see.
Beautifully written, this was a good way to start my morning, thank you.
What I like: (I somehow missed this one..!!) I had no idea where you were going with this, your last lines are extraordinary!
What could be improved: Nothing.
Overall Impression: How many things we put off to tomorrow, any one of us could be that hobo, and your story telling in this is an enviable skill, I love it!
What I like: Your title is brilliant, absolutely sums this up, (I always struggle with titles). Again, you bring the reader into the recesses of your mind, giving us a peek into what is running through.
What could be improved: Dare I say it again? Nothing, don't change a thing, this read beautifully.
Overall Impression: Having read pretty much all that you have, I love your style of writing, you certainly know how to make the reader feel all that the writer is feeling, transporting us to your thought processes, quite a talent you have, keep writing. I look forward to reading future offerings...
What I like: I absolutely love short pieces, when done well, it can really evoke the scene before the reader, a thought, an imagining...and you do this flawlessly. That last line, brought a smile.
What could be improved: Nothing.
Overall Impression: Again, that last line, I was not expecting it, however it is exactly as it should be, it brought the moment at hand and allowed the reader to feel what you were feeling at that time. Well done!
What I like: I think I am officially a fan of your work now . Another emotional piece that reaches in, takes hold and takes us with you.
What could be improved: Don't touch a thing, this is amazing.
Overall Impression: Your descriptions, funny how certain things stick out in our memories eye, you have captured each memory allowing it to seem as if it happened a moment ago. Nice work, one of my favorites I have read of yours, please keep writing...
What I like: I relate to this so much, in fact this touched a chord with me. I like that you are able to reach out and make a reader feel as if this could be about them, an enviable talent.
What could be improved: I see no areas for improvement.
Overall Impression: This reminds me of the Billy Joel song, she's got a way about her...and she certainly has. A woman who is unable to allow herself to be loved, your last lines pull this all together leaving quite an impression. Well done!
What I like: Wow...I love this. I like the narrative form, really drives it home for me. My favorite lines...
One day he stayed up all night
and missed the bus that carried me into forgiveness.
What could be improved: I am literally blown away by this, I see no areas for improvement.
Overall Impression: We all battle these inner demons, but your last lines, on the surface would seem self inflicting, but we all have to screw up don't we? How else would we ever learn. A brilliant piece of writing, I am glad to have found it, write on!!
What I like: I love the image presented. Taking the bus year after year to the city to work, I have experienced this very thing. Somehow no one wants to speak, but silently we stand huddled in the same spot, great observation you have put in poetic form.
What could be improved: Nothing, this is amazing as is.
Overall Impression: You have created an image in the readers mind allowing us to experience the impact of this mundane happening and turning it into something that makes the us wonder.
What I like: You almost have me wanting to try pea soup! (how I loathe peas...)
What could be improved: You have a couple of spacing issues here, but nothing major.
Overall Impression: Your description of this soup makes it sound delectable! I have never liked peas, the thought of pea soup even worse than the thought of peas themselves...you almost had me sold! (almost...)
What I like: This I loved. I am familiar with the poem, and taking random words and putting them together, to form another image, though similar is a great writing exercise.
What could be improved: I wouldn't improve anything with this.
Overall Impression: It is an interesting concept to take words from a favorite poem and make something different but maintain the original feel, well done!
What I like: I loved the description of the duck you have given, and I like the story behind how you came to know Dole, it actually brought a smile, like it was a memory you were sharing of a time that brought you a smile.
What could be improved: Your preview confuses me, is the duck dead? Or are you getting to that...not sure I would give it away in the preview.
Overall Impression: I like the premise of this story as it began, I think if you ever get to work on this again, I would definitely like to read it. I would love to see how it unfolds and where you are plan to take the story line. It seems like it will be an endearing tale.
Welcome to WDC, I look forward to reading more of you.
What I like: This is by far my favorite I've read of yours. Mirrors of truth, so many things we cannot discern as real, and when it is shattered, we find that much of mankind is asleep.
What could be improved: Not a thing.
Overall Impression: The above was just my impression of what I saw within your words, I've been known to be way off, one thing I know...your writing makes one pause to think, and to me, that is what writing is all about.
What I like: I love the Pipers at the Gates of Dawn reference, making me wonder, just why did you use that? . It makes me wonder too, which sol reference are you using? No matter which way I read this, I love the closing line.
What could be improved: Again, nothing would I even attempt to improve.
Overall Impression: I like that you got me thinking, and would love to know the inspiration behind this one. Well done!
What I like: Now this one is interesting. This can be taken in a couple of different ways. I would like to think the silence is forgiveness, but because I am not sure, that is what makes this an excellent read.
What could be improved: Nothing I would improve at all.
Overall Impression: I like that this one makes the reader really think about what the writers intention was, leaves a question in the air, I like that a lot
What I like: I wasn't sure I understood where the last line of this fit, until I read your preview, wants and needs of man.
What could be improved: With this one, the only thing I would change is the word lusting, I would change it to read simply lust. I think it makes it stronger.
Overall Impression: This is another well written piece, and I am thoroughly enjoying reading you.
What I like: What isn't to like? This is again, a brilliantly written short that captures the image in the readers mind.
What could be improved: Nothing, nothing at all.
Overall Impression: I didn't really catch the title until after I read, and it gives this piece an even deeper meaning. Beauty does deepen, and with all things, nothing is permanent, this is one I will come back to, thank you so much for sharing.
What I like: I absolutely love your association of life to the loom. Your use of the words warp and weft are well used here, and for so few words, it holds a magnitude of meaning.
What could be improved: I can't see a thing I would improve. I love shorts and yours is a great example of why I do.
Overall Impression: This is an excellent portrayal of life as the hands work the loom, and it has been a pleasure to read you. Welcome to WDC, I am looking forward to reading more of you.
"The Great Spirit knows how to deal with those who do not abide by the laws that are meant for all living things. Man may fight nature, but in the end he will always lose, because man may come and go but earth abides.”
But earth abides...and always will, I love this well told story, thank you for sharing your wisdom with us
Reminds me of Chris Tomlin's Jesus Messiah (one of my all time favorites). I love what you've done here...beautifully written. I particularly like your last lines...we can all be free if we choose to be...
I love this! Your first stanza is spectacular and is my favorite, quite an image you create for the reader, drawing us in. I was not expecting that ending, I feel it is very creative and brought a smile. Brilliantly written! I look forward to reading more from you...
I can see why this has a ribbon, what a beautiful message. The path is often rocky and rugged, but through the pain of trial, we find our ultimate destination.
Your portrayal of this journey is wonderfully written, my favorite lines are as follows:
“My Father, I thank You for the love You’ve shown to me
I’m honored that You’re invitation also includes me”
And isn't his invitation for us all...thank you for sharing this
Beth
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bethnation
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 8:02am on Jun 26, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.5)
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
